Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Death of Patriotism

It’s official people.Patriotism is dead.Its over.The process which began quite some time ago has been completed by the IPL.Confused?Let me explain.

Patriotism has been dying for quite some time.With the concept of the world becoming a global village,patriotism has been on the vane for quite some time.I mean come on-you could see it.I remember when I was a kid I used to sit and watch India’s cricket matches.Each and every match.EACH AND EVERY BALL.I was afraid to shift my position in the fear that India might lose a wicket.But that was before a man called Sourav Ganguly.Bengal has always been shunted to the side by the western lobby and this man just showed what we can do.Birth of parochialism.This was bound to happen.In a country with 28 goddamn states(very poor in geography…inaccuracy of information regretted) where people of one part have NOTHING in common with the people of another part,this was bound to happen.At first I felt it was only me who lost his patriotism.But then I saw it’s not only me.No-one gives a fuck about this country anymore.But is it without reason that we have become so indifferent??Is it really??NO!!!

We were the ones who believed in INDIA.We were the ones who believed in the sacrifices of Bhagat Singh,Subhash Chandra Bose and the other brave freedom fighters.We dreamt of a better India.An India of equality.We actually believed in those “sovereign,socialist.secular.democratic” crap.Then we found out why our country sucked in the first place.Corruption.CORRUPTION from top to bottom.YEP!!!IN THIS COUNTRY,MONEY TALKS!!But how can you blame the common people??They get paid so less and they have a lot of mouths to feed.The government??Before blaming the governments,remember this:This is a country where our government has to make advertisements to stop female foeticide,infanticide.And yet no equality for girls!!!!How can you blame the government???People say politicians are corrupt.Yes they are.But more than that they are people who have realized that nothing can be done about this fucked-up country.If some one tries to do any good,others will pull them down to their level.And is it just politics??Look at our film industry.Copying movies from the west.Look at our sports.Spending millions on IPL,but not 1 congratulations for world champion Pankaj Advani.YES…we are people who go where there is hype…that’s how a shithole movie like ghajini is a blockbuster and a movie like Mumbai Meri Jaan bites the dust.People blame the brain drain on selfish young people.They say this generation has become selfish.Let me ask them something.WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE GIVE A DAMN ABOUT INDIA??WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GIVEN US EXCEPT HARDSHIPS,SHAME,TERROR,RELIGIOUS RIOTS,WAR AND GOD KNOWS WHAT OTHER CRAP??This country is dying.But no,don’t say that!!!Force a smile on your face!!!And say mera bharat mahan.

By the way,nowadays when India plays cricket,I change the channel and watch the ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE.

Monday, April 20, 2009

My Own Affirmation

(with due apologies to Savage Garden.This is just my tribute to their song)

I believe that everyone should have their own opinion.

I believe that Clark Kent is more like-able than superman.

I believe that 18 isn’t the age to lose virginity.

I believe that soccer is more popular than Christianity.

I believe that one lifetime isn’t enough for our hopes and dreams.

I believe that people may not always be just as they seem.

I believe our actions alone decide our destiny

I believe that love and hate are more important than money.

I believe that success alone should never decide our fate

I believe Saint Peter is still standing by the Pearly Gate.

I believe we shouldn’t ever believe anything blindly.

I believe that now this song should come to an end finally.

I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned.

I believe you cant appreciate real love until you're burned.

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side.

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say good-bye.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Seventh Heaven

Have you ever thought how it would be like to do whatever you wished to do for just one day?I thought a lot about.We live within so many bindings now-a-days that the real us is lost somewhere deep within us.We have become mechanical.We do certain things we don’t like to do but have to do because its decent its normal.”NORMAL” is the operative word here.So what would I do if I had one day to myself to do whatever I wished for without any bindings?

12.00 am-I would declare myself the President of the United States and withdraw troops from Iraq.I would stay at the White House for a couple of hours and enjoy a president’s life…but gotta go…time is short….so I stay here for only 3 hours….ha ha…

3.00 am-I would travel to Hollywood and sign Al Pacino for a tamil film starring Rajnikanth.In the movie Rajnikanth is the hero and Al Pacino is the villain,the leader of the USA army.Rajnikanth fights the entire USA army,navy and air forces with one hand tied behind his back and his blind-folded.Oh yes,he beats them without breaking a sweat.

7.00 am-I would buy all the shares(no financial binding remember?) of Warner Brothers and DC comics.From the next month DC comics will publish a weekly issue of Drona.1st issue guest stars the Batman.Go collect your issue now!!I am sorry…from next month.

10.00 am-I am sitting in J.K.Rowling’s living room.She has agreed to start writing Harry Potter books again.I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

12.00 noon-I am having lunch at the Beverly Hills surrounded by Penelope Cruz,Salma Hayek,Monicca Bellucci and Keira Knightley.Mr Tom Cruise are you watching?

2.00 pm -I am here in Italy and have just bought a Ferrari.Michael Schumacher was the salesman.i am taking it to India without the taxes.Now I am going for a test drive.Penelope Cruz is sitting beside me.

5.00 pm-That test drive took a while.Me and Penny we went to the countryside.Stopped the car and enjoyed the scenary.I proposed to her and she said that she has been in love with me,the moment she first saw me.(YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND I SWEAR I AM GONNA BREAK EVERY TEETH YOU HAVE…OR IS IT TOOTH?)

7.00 pm-I am back in India.I have just signed Cristiano Ronaldo for Mohun Bagan.We are gonna thrash East Bengal the next time we play.

9.00 pm-I have completed banning all the television serials in the country.Ekta Kapoor is nearly crying but I ask her to go and make movies.I even give her dvds of a few English movies and albums of a few Pakistani bands from where she can rip off.

11.00 pm-All exams of any university just got cancelled.Guess who’s behind it?

12.00 am- I wake up.Its awfully hot and I am drenched.The open lab copy before me doesn’t look inviting at all.On the computer the news updates show Mohun Bagan has lost their match.

And all of a sudden I feel glad that finally normality is restored.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Some one-liners

Ok, firstly-these aren’t mine.I found them somewhere and am posting them for you guys.Hope you like them.If you do-its my credit for choosing them.If you don’t-the person who spent his time writing this-he is the one at fault.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like… Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
21. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
25. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That ’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Random Thoughts of a Jobless Tramp

Last night I was watching the movie scarface.It had Al Pacino in it.Al Pacino is of course best known for “The Godfather”.The Godfather is rated by many as the best movie of all time.George Best was the greatest player of Manchester United.Manchester United lost 4-1 to Liverpool recently.The legendary band “The Beatles” hail from Liverpool.The word beatle rhymes with seattle.The movie “Sleepless in Seattle” had Tom Hanks in the lead role.Tom Hanks’ worst performance was probably in “The Da Vinci Code”.Leonardo Da Vinci was a scientist besides being an artist.Leonardo de Caprio was awesome in Titanic.Titanic was directed by James Cameron.James Cameron also directed the superb action movies The Terminator.The Terminator had Arnold Schwarzennegar in the lead role.Arnie is now the governor of California.Hotel California is the defining song of eagles.”Where eagles dare” starred Clint Eastwood during his early years.Clint Eastwood directed “Changeling” last year which was nominated for Oscars.Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars with Rahman winning two.Rahman’s Delhi 6 was better than Slumdog Millionaire.Delhi 6 actress sonam kapoor debuted in the movie sawariya by Sanjay Leela Bhansali.Bhansali is rumoured to be remaking The Prestige.The Prestige starred Christian Bale and hugh jackman.If you are still reading this post you be sure that you are completely jobless like me.People are jobless because of recession.Recession caused the stock markets to crash.Crash starred Brad Pitt.I like Brad Pitt.I can go on like this for hours.But even jobless people need break from their jobless escapades.So I am gonna take a break from taking a break…and………..well………..take a break.If you have read till here it means you are not only jobless,but you also love to torture yourself.If you love to torture yourself you should go and watch Aag.Not read my post.so get lost.I am not writing another word.

(I had no intention of torturing you with this.I was merely trying to kill time…no wait…murder time…slaughter time….assasinate time…anyway…I failed…)