Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Good Evening ladies and gentlemen.I am your news host for now and let’s have a look at the top news stories today-

~Wipro has threatened to leave India after the Eden Gardens incident in which some angry tollygunge agragami supporters burnt down Eden Gardens after a cricket field brawl,ensuing from a dubious no-ball call,blew out of proportions.This is the third cricket-ground vandalism incident of the year.Although experts are at a loss how this would possibly effect wipro.I,my friends am at a loss thinking who these experts are.I saw a guy who used to pass the exams cheating in college being addressed as an expert

~After successfully having banned MTV,Channel V,Zoom,AXN,FTV among others the Shiv Sena party today urged the government to ban the sports channel Ten Sports as they felt the skirts worn by the female hockey players in hockey matches shown by the channel are indecent.On similar grounds they have also called for a ban on ESPN and Star Sports with respect to female tennis players.

~In a bid to cement their reputation as a secular party the Indian National Congress today passed a bill making Din-e-Elahi the national religion of Inida.
In related news ,members of the BJP today burned effigies of Superman and Batman showing their disapproval for what they term as the gay leanings of these American superheroes.A top BJP leader today stated that it was obvious that any male person who wore underwears on the outside was obviously gay.

Entertainement News:

~Sanjay Leela Bhansali today announced his next movie-Pink.Bhansali had previously made movies on six different colours most of which bombed-both commercially and critically.Undeterred,Bhansali is making his next movie which have a feministic theme and is about two college girls who will be played by Ranbir Kapoor and Aamir Khan.

~Himesh Reshammiya today quashed all rumours about dating Rakhi Sawant.In an impassioned statement the actor stated that his present situation was very frustrating but not even that frustrating.He also announced that he would be soon having a plastic surgery done and hopes to do a Michael Jackson.

~Meanwhile Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham-who now rival the popularity of the SRK-Kajol pair are returning together again for their next movie-Dostana-se thoda zyada-In this movie Abhishek and John play a happily married gay couple whose lives are rocked by the arrival of a sexy stranger played by Hrithik Roshan.This is the 7th time they play a gay couple.Their last film together was Paap Punyam in which they played a star-crossed couple during the vedic ages.

~Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today adopted their 32nd baby from a Chinese family.Pitt said that their aim was to reach 50 by 2020.
~In other news,Johnny Depp was arrested for the murder of 5 people in New York.Depp,known for his method acting,said he was preparing for his role as a serial killer in an upcoming movie.

Sports News:

~Sachin Tendulkar confirmed he will be playing for India in the next World Cup.

~Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger was sacked today after Arsenal’s 11th trophyless season.Wenger was almost immediately appointed the coach of the French national team.Wenger said it was like a homecoming for him.

~Cristiano Ronaldo today retired from football after 8 years with Real Madrid.When asked what were his plans for the future,Ronaldo replied that he was looking forward to opening a strip bar in his own house as he found it cumbersome to travel..

~The Sourav Ganguly coached Kolkata Knight Riders today suffered their 8th defeat of the season.Surprisingly all of these were by a single run.Owner Shah Rukh Khan said he had already sent an sms to each player to cheer them up.Cricket experts in Bengal however unanimously concurred that this was a clear conspiracy to end Sourav’s career as coach.

That’s the news from now.Thank you and good night.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Nice Guy

The following post is a really personal one.I wrote it down sometime back when I was feeling quite depressed.I was hesitating whether or not to post this,but what the hell-here goes!!!

I have to be a nice guy,who never picks a fight.
Even if I am damn pissed off,I have to keep it quiet.
Everytime I see something happening that I feel is unfair.
I have to look the other way,’cause I’m not allowed to swear.
No-I am supposed to be this gentleman,the regular decent guy;
Who,even when in a fuckin’ mess,isn’t allowed to cry.
Oops did I say the f-word,I am sorry I apologise.
Believe me,that’s a slip of tongue I don’t have any vice.
But then you wonder,if that’s so what happened with those ladies?
Those two who left me and walked away like running from dead alleys
For s________, I wouldn’t care less for she wasn’t there for me,
But donna-i thought you loved me-how could you let this be?
You never really loved me,did ya,isn’t that just a shame?
I bet after a couple of years now,you can’t recall my name
But that’s ok,I got over you a long time back
Although for that affair,I took a lot of flak.
Half my friends didn’t like what became of me,
But that’s all behind now-this is Anish version 3.3.
Now I would never write emo songs,am not a glory-hunter
But sometimes I get the feeling,I am headed for disaster.
Every friend I’ve ever had,I feel I am destined to lose
When you think about it,ain’t that enough to blow your fuse?
But me,and the people I know,we are tougher than that
Some of us has seen tragedies that make these seem flat
I just hope the bashing and cursing and the mud-slinging would stop
I accept I am nothing but an useless psycho fop
But I don’t want to take this shit from you,hell no!!
Coz this is my life ‘welcome to The Anish Show’
Maybe the night will finally pass,and dawn will come one day
Birds singing and a breeze blowing and no one calling me gay
Till that day comes,for all of us,my friends just grit your teeth
Coz I know you guys ,my brotherhood,you can take this heat.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Stranger of the darkest nights

My dreams and hopes are far and few
I never measure what I can do
My only hope is that someday
Meeting you my dream comes true

I never wanted much you know
I only wish to stop this ache
O stranger of the darkest nights
Who art thou who keeps me ‘wake?

Oft I feel that I am jinxed
A curse to bear till end of time
Does this phantom have no cure?
Am I to live in rage and fear?

But then I remember all those times
When I was bruised and all alone
From the shadows,Oh my angel
You mended me and took me home

Perhaps you and I have met
In some destined turn of fate
Maybe you are by my side
Laughing at my sorry plight

Are you the great mighty God?
Who makes things move with just a thought
Or are you Lucifer from the hell?
All over men,who casts a spell.

May be its better the mystery stays
Till I sleep my final sleep
I am your soldier in all fights.
O warrior of the darkest nights.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Last Period

I was going through a diary which I used to write in when I was in 12.I found this-I am posting this here…it’s not very good,but hey!!when is it ever??

The last period is going on.

The drone of the teacher’s voice

Is threatening to put me to sleep.

Keeping my eyes open is slowly

Becoming a Herculean task.

But there is a problem-

If I close my eyes and fall to sleep

The teacher might catch me

And throw me out of the class’(Embarrassing that!!)

Or no one may notice me

And go away leaving me

Locked in this classroom(Scary that!!)

So my friends-

No matter what happens you see

I have to keep my eyes open.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Ramblings of a wasted morning

Its been raining incessantly from the morning.Usually on days like this I would be fighting my way through a crowded office-time bus,half-drenched,cursing below my breath while trying to reach that fiasco of an institution(is that even proper English?) I have come to call my college over the past three years.But since our good-for-nothing departmental football team miraculously qualified for the quarter-finals we-those sane people who didn’t find going to play football to the other end of city and getting drenched in the rain for 5 hours a very attractive prospect-got an unexpected holiday.
Its holidays like these that really bother me.Now,I don’t know if you know this,but I consider myself to be a very active and energetic person.When I have holidays I plan for them 10 days beforehand and I follow my routine of watching movies,reading comics or winning gang wars in computer games very strictly.So when the routine gets upset,so do I.But being a very persistent fellow,I decided not to waste the day,but use it for doing some constructive work.
The first thing that I thought of doing was studying and completing the syllabus for my forth-coming internals.On days like this when I feel like studying,I am a difficult guy to control.I started thinking.Maybe if I started studying now and study 8-9 hours straight I might get the syllabus for at least 3 subjects completed.I envisioned my mother urging me to stop studying and have dinner.”You have studied a lot” she is saying “I wont let you study anymore.You will become sick.Come and have some food.Watch a movie”;but I tell her “No ma,I gotta finish this right now;this is the only aim in my life;let me pursue this obsession of mine”.See this is how enthusiastic I get.But I have tremendous control over myself.And I exercise that control to keep myself away from books.See I have to do all these to protect my reputation.Because I firmly believe that the most valuable possession of a man is his reputation.Actually those were Shakespeare’s words (in whatever freaky old English he wrote,bless his soul).But he died about 400-500 years ago so I don’t think he would mind too much.
So anyways,I lost a lot of time in visualizing all this.”Damn” I thought irritably “There goes a perfectly usable half an hour.Totally wasted.I better begin watching a movie or something.”But it’s easier said than done.I began watching The Deer Hunter which I have heard was a classic.Moreover it starred Robert De Niro who is my favourite actor.A classic with your favourite actor.What could go wrong I ask myself?And I begin watching the movie.I wont go into the details because I myself do not like blabbering too much.There are a lot of people who keep talking even when it is perfectly clear that no one is interested in listening to them.I am the quiet type.When I speak it is to the point and witty.It’s my intellectual nature.I cant help it.
So anyways,to cut a short story long,firstly the sound of the movie was very soft.Yes it was audible enough,but not audible enough to distinguish the dialogues spoken in an American accent.Not one to give up though,I downloaded the subtitles and began watching the movie.However even here fate was against me.The subtitles were out of sync with the movie.Now I am not a guy to complain quickly but this was even too much for me.The subtitles appeared half-a-second earlier than the dialogues were spoken.That’s the quality of work done these days.Whatever happened to good decent men like myself?
Anyways by now it was time for me to take a shower and have my lunch.The morning was wasted.I cursed those confounded sociapaths and homophobs for qualifying for the quarters without informing me at least 5 days in advance.No sense of responsibility I think to myself.They made a nice hard-working lad like meself,idle away the entire morning.This is how the work culture of our country has detoriated.Honest boys led astray due to no fault of their own.I hope that I wont go down that road.I know you have enjoyed this account a lot but I am going to have to ask to take leave of you.HEY!this is free.How much more do you want??And really!!You don’t have to thank me for doing this…it was no trouble at all.