Thursday, July 29, 2010

Remains of the Day

It’s just another morning in Kolkata.Kolkata-My city.The place where I was born and brought up.The city where I have memories of all the important moments of my life.But this morning the city seems different and distant.Today all the sights and sounds of the city that I am so familiar with and have been for a long time-everything seems detached from me and my life.

It’s 8 am in the morning-I am sitting with all the newspapers circling out possible job opportunities.I have been doing this for over 3 months.Searching for newspapers-applying for job interviews and being rejected at the interview.It’s almost become a routine by now.My poor grades at school and college keep haunting me.I was never a very bright student.And I wasn’t much of a hard-worker either.So my grades came as a surprise to no one.But today the job openings were the last thing on my mind.I was still reeling from the events of yesterday.

It’s 10 am and I am getting ready to go out for today’s job interview.My mother looks at me proudly as I dress.It’s funny how she never lets me feel like a loser.She always treats me as if I am the most important person in the world.She always complements me when I dress up even though being of medium height,dark complexion and being overweight I really am not a head-turner.But that’s the best thing about my mother-She never loses her temper with me.She never makes me feel bad about myself.People say she spoils me-But she doesn’t care.I look at her face and feel pangs of guilt for abusing her leniency and love.I wonder if she knew about the events of yesterday how she would feel.

It’s 2 pm-and I sit down on a rickety bench in a rice hotel for my afternoon lunch.It’s surprising-no matter where you go in Kolkata you find these hotels where they provide a lunch in less than twenty rupees.A variety of people come here-From construction workers to taxi drivers to unemployed broke young people like me to nearby office staff.Everyday I observe these people while enjoying my lunch-I listen to them chat and express their opinions on almost all topics under the sun.Most are coming here for years and know each other really well.Listening to them livens up the dullest of my days.But not today-today there’s a huge weight on my mind-that nothing can lighten.

It’s 5 pm-I am sitting in a bus and returning home.My workday is like everyone else.The only difference is they go to work everyday and I go to apply for work everyday.It was this time yesterday that it happened.I was returning home like usual.The bus was over crowded and people were in a foul mood as usual.Little did we know of the tragedy waiting around the corner.The bus was near Maidan when it happened.The bus in front was going really slow-as is the nature of all near-empty buses in Kolkata.Just as our bus was overtaking this bus-A man came out of nowhere in front of the bus.I can still see it as if it was happening just now.The sickening smash,the blood splattered on the windscreen,the tumultuous shouts.A man who left his home and family in the morning perfectly healthy-won’t be returning to them anymore.How quickly it happened-a life built bit by bit for years-destroyed in a second.A family reduced from normal to grieving in a second.And these sights,visions and thoughts have been haunting me since yesterday.There are so many people who do wrong to the world-who hurt people,take lives and commit all kinds of wrong-doing.And yet God chose this man-someone who was there only because he had to go to work for his family.

It’s 9 pm and I am roaming aimlessly in Gariahat.I didn’t feel like returning home so early and listening to Dad’s criticism of my life and pointing out my mistakes.I needed to be alone.And now it’s late.I see all around people readying to call it a night.I see people wrapping up for the day.Tomorrow will be another day to start afresh.But for tonight the war has ended temporarily and the soldiers are tired.Tonight in this rainbow city of my mine-people are just picking up the remains of the day.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Ramblings of a Rainy Day:Heartache for a Paradise Lost

I am trying to be the smartass dude-to get into a flow
But today I am too indifferent to tell tales of woe
It’s been raining all day long-and I am melancholy now
And Cohen’s Hallelujah is getting me high somehow
Maybe at the stroke of midnight cometh the 3 ghosts
The 3 ghosts of reminiscence-future,present and past
The bestseller novel was unceremoniously cast aside
As I look out of my window-and up at the cloudy sky
Today I wish I was 10 again-floating boats in puddles
Before life’s tyranny rendered me dumb and befuddled
Our minds are so twisted now-we fail to think straight
Fail to love the simple pleasures-we are so full of hate
Our peers control our likes,dislikes-the society our dreams
Happiness has lost the war-now Ambition reigns supreme
But no matter how big you get-you will always feel a pain
When you see a 10 year old-floating boats in the rain.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I am Superman Prime,the Time-Trapper
I ain’t a gangsta-naah not a crime rapper
I am damned to an eternity of sociopathy
These humanoids don’t have my sympathy
I know what they say-they call me a freak
But if ya ask me-they ain’t allowed to speak

I am Harvey Dent-They call me Two-Face
I am the biggest hypocrite around this place
For every time I pick I side-I try to be unfair
I can’t face the truth-so I try to do a dare
The number two has always fascinated me
Coming out second-best is a habit,you see

I am the goddamn Batman,no not Bruce Wayne
I ain’t borderline psychotic-am just plain insane
I don’t hafta do drugs-this beatdown gets me high
Some say I am a sadist-I say DIE CRITICS DIE!!
Some say it’s a compulsion-I don’t have a choice
I say you are freaking nuts- in my gruff bat-voice

I am Clark Kent-the timid mild-mannered man
I have a huge crush on Lois Lane-if only I can
Tell her that I am the guy with fists of steel
And I am from Krypton-stop calling me Smallville
I can fly,I can shoot laser-Hey you know that bloke?
Harry Potter-I can see him in his invisibility cloak.


P.S:This is what happenes when you don't have anything constructive to write... :D

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Sometimes I wonder why I write this stuff
I know they are generic-I try to act tough
But I know they suck-a waste of your time
I’d be arrested if bad writing was a crime

All I do ever is diss,complain moan and whine
And find an excuse for every mistake of mine
And blame all the people who tried to help me
Pretend being blind-easier to look away than see

I try to be the Dude-but I fail to be the man
I fail to be the Dude too-I don’t think I can
Charm people off their feet-that ain’t me
I can only try to cheer you up unsuccessfully

I shirk responsibilities-I can shoulder none
I remain the same immature frivolous one
I try to cover that up and I say I am a rebel
But the truth is-coward is more apt a label

My friends try to help me-I turn them away
This way I have lost many friends to this day
Yet others keep coming and trying to help me
Some feel I am misguided-they don’t know me

Things change all the time-yet they stay the same
I figured this out long ago-this is not a game
We ultimately learn to live with what we’ve done
I guess it’s my fate to be the unrepentant one.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Going against Gender Stereotypes

Hmm.I usually don’t do tag posts-But this is an interesting one.Sins against gender stereotypes-I won’t bore you with a long winded explanation of what gender stereotypes are because I know you won’t bother going through it-I wouldn’t if I were you.But the main reason is because I don’t want to-So chuck the appetizers and let’s the begin the main course-The things I am supposed to do or love as a guy but which I don’t enjoy-

1.No smoking/drinking-I don’t smoke.I don’t drink. Almost all the guys I know smoke.Most drink.It’s not that I am bound by some moral code or I think smoking or drinking is “wrong”-neither is it because it’s harmful for health.I tried to smoke one day-found the taste horrible and haven’t done it since.As for drinking,after school I sometimes used to have a beer once in 6 months.But now I have given that up too.

2.Not a rock music fan-I am not a rock music fan.Most of the guys I know are crazy rock music fans.They swear by Pink Floyd,live by Metallica.They eat Iron Maiden,drink Coldplay.Except for alternative and classical rock,I find rock music extremely annoying-And I can’t stand metal-It seems to me,those fellas in the bands try to pass off noise as music.

3.My dress sense-Most of the guys around me are always wearing jeans and tees.But I love wearing full-sleeve shirts and trousers. I guess this isn’t much of a point but it still makes me stand out like an odd duck.

4.I hate action movies-What is the matter with me?Guys are supposed to LOVE action movies!!And here I am-who finds them stupid,over-the-top and extremely idiotic.I don’t even like them for time pass.Yep for me,action movies suck!!

5.Not a gadgets freak-This is yet something which most guys love.They go crazy over the latest gizmos and cool gadgets-I am not particularly intrigued by those.I have no interest Ipad,Iphone etc.I hate touch-phones coz I suck with them and use an outdated Motorola model with just an FM radio and no other features.I find these new gadgets too cumbersome and hard to manoeuvre.

6.I hate porn-Well this might be hard to believe for some people-in fact most-but that’s the truth-I am a guy who abhors porn.Let me tell you the origin story of this problem-I was in class 12 when a friend decided to show me porn-I felt sick seeing it-I had to go and throw up-It seemed so vulgar-Later that night I couldn’t sleep-kept sweating.Many of my friends know this already-Since that day I have never tried to watch porn.

Well I guess that sums it up I guess.Other than these stuff-I am pretty much I guy-ish guy and do all the stuff guys does-From football mania to being a glutton to eyeing random hot girls on the street-I like it all.
I am not tagging anyone in this post-Anyone who wants to do it feel free to take up this tag-I guess that’s it for now.Have fun.