The Disillusioned Maverick

You Just Got Censored

2011-12-06T23:46:00.001+05:30

Foreword:Read this quickly.No telling when the censor guys come around and censor the sense out of this little ol' post.

So the entire internet community is in an uproar over KapilSibal’s attempt to censor material on certain sites on the internet.And can youblame them?The internet is supposed to be free.No not THAT free-that’s illegaland called piracy,shame on you if you indulge in it.By free I mean the freedomof speech-the freedom to call someone a douche bag sitting in your darkbasement room trying to sound badass and dissing movies on message boards.Yes I know you alsouse the internet to search for erotica-shame on you again.Point is the internetallows you freedom real life doesn’t.So naturally censoring the internet WILLcause an uproar.People will be angry.But from experience and history we knowthat people are as often right as they are wrong.So let’s analyze this a bit.

Does the internet need a guardian?That’s the firstquestion.I would say yes it does.We all know of cyber frauds,cyber crimes,etc.Soyes it does need a guardian.Next question-does content on the internet need tobe censored?Suprising though it may seem,the answer is YES IT DOES.The mostobvious question which arises next is why?Well for many reasons-Forexample,suppose someone uploads a formula for making bombs,suppose somefundamentalist is spreading his warped twisted theories and brainwashing youngpeople.There can be various other reasons but I think we have established thefact that yes often content on the internet needs to be censored.For thegreater good (Winks).

Now comes the question-is the Indian government right incensoring material on the internet?My first reaction is that it depends-if he’sgoing to censor what some teenager writes on Facebook then it’s absolutelypointless.Yeah many people may abuse politicians on the internet but it’s notcausing them any harm is it?Cricketers and filmstars have been getting thishatred for ages-the fanboys of two rival superstars in India are always atloggerheads and abusing the holy hell out of each other.So this basically seemskinda pointless if not downright petty and fascist.However if this censorshipis used to censor some bank robber somewhere from planning a bank robbery withhis fellow robbers on Facebook or something like that then I guess it’suseful.The last line sounds mindblowingly stupid no?That’s because it is.

In the end I would have to say I don’t know if Mr Sibal hasany hidden agendas or motives (he’s a clever man no doubt) behind this,but I’dhave to say up front this sounds a really bad idea-one which has expectedly notfound close to as much love among the internet community as Kolaveri Di.

The Sands of Time

2011-11-16T03:59:00.002+05:30

The grass withereth,the flower fadeth;

Time goes on and dreams go dead.

Unanswered prayers become forgotten,

Dreams of the young grow cold and rotten.

The mundane weighs heavily on him

Penance for some inadvertent sin?

The stars call out but his sky is black;

This hopeless reality holds him back.

Some dark cloud follows him around.

It sheds no light and it makes no sound;

It rains down heavily and extinguishes

The bright flames of his deepest wishes.

He could have,but didn’t want to run away

Coulda escaped but he’d much rather stay

Than take the easy road ,betray his kind;

Sell out his spirit-his very soul and his mind.

And now he’s tired and the hour is late,

His feelings are rusted,his dreams all dead .

The grass withereth;The flower fadeth.

Fun?Not Exactly! What bothers and annoys me about the Pujas

2011-10-01T13:40:00.000+05:30

So the festive season is here.People all around are dee-lighted and basking in the festive atmosphere(I have no idea what that means).Except me.And NO,I am not an atheist,I don’t have anything against idol-worship or the Goddess.I dislike a lot of things about the Pujas pertaining to the mortals who celebrate it.Here's some of them:

1.Overcrowded streets-The streets,roads,alleys,by-lanes are all overcrowded,and all you can see around you is an ocean of human heads.Someone’s elbow hits you on the back,you try to turn and bump your head against someone,someone treads on your foot,you try to jump and accidentally hit an old guy behind you and everyone around stares at you like you’re the worst human being in the world.How is THAT any fun?

2.The walking-It may be just me,but some evil psychotic friends of mine love walking during the pujas.Mile after mile after mile.Maybe they derive some kind of sick masochistic pleasure from this because I simply don’t get what’s the fun in walking for hours in the scorching heat or the rain,tiring yourself out and ruining the new clothes you’ve just broken out.

3-Overpriced/Low quality food-I don’t know what is it during the pujas,but it seems the price of food increases and the quantity/quality decreases during Pujas.If you want to get into a barely average restaurant you have to wait for 3 hours outside to get that overpriced food.I am sorry but this is fun-HOW?Am I missing something?

4-Noise pollution-Yes,noise pollution.The puja pandals all playing the latest Hindi chartbusters in full volume.Somehow I really don’t think the Goddess really wants to hear that during the Pujas.However it could be just me,and maybe everyone really enjoys the trashy Bollywood songs played during the Pujas.

5-The theme pandals-This is what annoys me the most perhaps.The pujas have now become gimmicks,gimmicks to win various awards.Whatever happened to the good old sabeki pandals,where there won’t be 40000 people at a time and where you can sit and chat with your friends/family? The homely feeling associated with those times just isn’t present in these theme pujos.It feels like a mockery.

Did I mention the food?Oh yes...I did.Sorry...well that’s that then.So basically these are the stuff about the Pujas which bother me.things I don't like.But to all those who do,have a blast!Enjoy yourselves.

This Ol' Town

2011-08-18T16:21:00.000+05:30

The old man has lost his glasses

The little boy’s scared of a clown

The young man lost a friend tonight.

And the sheriff-he’s lost this town.

The night is oh so very black.

Clouds hide the stars & the moon

The scared little boy’s now happy.

His father has bought him a balloon.

A thug comes out of the shadows

His hands clasp a shiny metal.

A shot rings out through the night.

The old man-he cries out and falls.

The sheriff has his head in his hands.

He’s watched his beloved town fall

He’s watched them take over the city

And there is no one he can call.

The young man shivers-it’s cold

He’s walking these streets alone

His friend went to join the army

Young lad never came back home

This town has come alive tonight

It’s like an autocrat on crack.

It’s twisted like a psychopath’s mind.

Can we ever take this ol’ town back?

The Lonely Rider

2011-05-31T17:44:00.000+05:30

The western sky grows crimson

The sun sets below the horizon

Folks end their work for the day

But the lonely rider rides on.

He hasn’t slept a wink in days

His mates have gone their separate ways

He’s been left to ride alone

Left to wander on his own.

Our lonely hero wears a frown

Wanders about from town to town

Singing songs and righting wrongs

Stopping awhile in this journey long.

He comes in every day and age

Angry as the fire,calm as a sage

Whenever people need someone

He will be there, he’s their man.

And after he’s saved the day.

He’ll be off again on his way.

On his horse,to meet his fate

Riding away into the sunset.

Broken Memories

2011-05-06T01:55:00.000+05:30

I had some time to think about the past

The smiles,the tears,the unbroken trust;

That time of life when we all were naive

And yet we had the time of our lives.

We had not a care in this whole wide world

Would end up like this,who coulda foretold?

Our lives were simple and our biggest worries-

Were about the heroes in adventure stories.

We should have known it was too good to last

Those days are memories covered with dust

Now even in victory we cannot seem to win

Can’t seem to fight off the demons within.

Perhaps we changed,perhaps we lost our faith

Maybe that’s the reason our love turned to hate

Perhaps all we need to do is find the kid within

Perhaps we need to stop always trying to win.

Maybe if we weren’t too busy hunting glory

We could have had our own Cinderella stories:

Too late for a fairy tale for this world weary traveller

Too late for “and everyone lived happily ever after.”

Letter to the Indian media

2011-04-08T16:45:00.004+05:30

Dear Indian media,

I woke up today morning,got the newspaper and a full page advert of the Indian Premier League jumped out at me.The front page converted to a full page advert.This was the case with both the newspapers I read.Same thing happened when I open the TV.Regarding this I have some points for not just the print media but the entire Indian media.

I am not a politically inclined person.I keep track of the political happenings of the country but I am not much interested in politics.However as living in this country you can’t help knowing some things like India winning the cricket World Cup or an Aamir Khan movie is releasing,Similarly you can’t help knowing about certain things-Like the IPL scam,the Adarsh society scam.Like the 2G scam.Like all the other scams.So I happen to know as any ordinary Indian would that there is something wrong.There is corruption in this country.Now that we have established the fact that corruption does exist,We come to our next point-Anna Hazare.I happened to hear that a man called Anna Hazare has started a fast-unto-death protest against corruption.I came to know from a Facebook note even more about this man and this bill he is proposing.And even to a non-political person like me it seemed to be a very important news story.Much much more important than the Indian Premier League-which is no doubt a showcase event for the country but in all fairness that’s what the sports pages at the end are for.So I want to make certain points.

1)What made you think that the IPL’s advert is more important than not alone the Anna Hazare story but than any other story happening in the country.Can you explain?

2)There has been a tendency to highlight even the most trivial issues related to showbiz and cricket.Like how a certain model promises to bare all if the team wins the cricket world cup.Like how a starlet experienced a wardrobe malfunction,like how an Indian cricketer may get married,like how a certain actor is experiencing bad luck due to the stars.WHY ARE YOU SELLING NEWS AND NOT REPORTING IT?

3)I notice certain news channels-in fact almost all-try to portray certain political parties in a good light.All the while either taking potshots at the other party if not directly blaming them for so and so incident.Why is that?WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE SPIN DOCTORS?

You may think that since the TRPs keep coming the so the viewers must really like it,but you have no idea.Certain late night news channel anchors have become a mockery on certain social networking sites.Certain regional language news channels are the butt of jokes.That’s what you guys are turning yourselves into.A circus.Of course there are exceptions but they are far and few.If people watch news now that’s because it amuses them.The same way they love watching TV soaps and Reality shows.Speaking of which some of you actually have programmes to analyze the happenings of the teleserials and bring people the latest inside scoop.You are putting the idiot in the idiot box have no illusions about that.Maybe it’s high time you should stop worrying about earning TRPs and sponsorship money and started worrying about earning respect.

Yours truly,

An annoyed ordinary Indian.

The Night

2011-04-03T14:27:00.000+05:30

I stand between the gargoyles , above the tower at night

It’s pouring down and windy-there ain’t a soul in sight

I think about the good things and the bad things I have done

And all I seem to come up with is how that night I run;

Since then his ghost has haunted me-kept me up at nights

Till he drove me to insomnia,to these dizzying heights.

So now I stand so high above ground-yet my head hangs low

I jump into the dark and silent night, Quietly I let go.

The dark night,

The silent night,

The sympathetic night,

The cruel night,

The just night.

My best friend is the night.

My worst nightmare is the night.

It knows all my secrets.

Wordless

2011-03-17T22:07:00.000+05:30

Wordsworth had a writer’s block-it drove him mad

He lost words worth millions-words were all he had.

I never could use words like he could-not even close

Can never express myself beautifully-even in prose

Because the rage in my heart fills me,chokes me up

Much like South Africa at every cricket World Cup.

I’m a coward at heart,a whiner,a wannabe,a rat

I ain’t Richard the lionheart –believe me I know that.

I use anger as a shield,a disguise to cover my fears

Shout at me,you never know-I might well be in tears

I wish I had courage-courage to face my demons.

I wish I had words-A nice vocab and some puns.

I also wish I was a rich playboy-superhero of the nights

Fighting crime,scaling rooftops-dressed in revolting tights

In the end i wish I could write something to make you cry

But hopelessly wordless as I am-am just gonna say goodbye.

P.S:Pray for Japan people.Pray that God gives them the strength to overcome these adversities and emerge stronger than before.

The Dying Star

2011-03-03T22:53:00.004+05:30

I am too tired to banter with you -I am too tired to fight

I am tired of judging you-Judging what’s wrong and right

The night is young,but I am old-a hundred and a score years old

We have been raising the stakes all night-now’s the time I fold.

You can keep my pride and fire

You can keep my fight and desire

I fell so hard and fell so far-I can’t get back up again

My best friend is the dying star-I can’t stand it’s pain.

I wish I could ride into the sunset-into the wild wild west

But this war ain’t over by any means-ain’t no time for rest.

Superman

2011-02-13T13:31:00.002+05:30

Superman Superman

High in the sky above the skyscrapers.

Looking like a costume-clad Don Draper.

Saving the earth daily and Lois Lane too

Superman-all of us down here love you.

Superman Superman

Batman’s awesome but he can’t inspire

The way you do-we can only admire

The way you fight for us-billions of strangers

Putting yourself through a thousand dangers

Superman Superman

You don’t need to be brooding or dark

You don’t need to growl or bark

You do your stuff with a smile on your face

Up,up and away-in your red and blue dress

Superman Superman

He has a crush on the beautiful Ms Lane

His best pal is the young Jimmy Olsen

Lex Luthor may try in a thousand ways

But Superman thwarts his plans always

Superman Superman

Ages go by and people grow old

Philosophies change,hearts grow cold

But look up at the sky whenever you can

That’s not a bird or a plane-that’s Superman.

Disclaimer-This is just a tribute to one of my favourite superheroes and my first childhood hero-Superman.I don't own any of the mentioned characters.This is just a fanboy expressing his love.

A Kolkata Tale II

2011-02-08T18:13:00.005+05:30

This is the second part of A Kolkata Tale.You can read the first part of A Kolkata Tale here- A Kolkata Tale

Amit’s diary-

08 February 4 am

It’s 4 am in the morning and I’m up writing.I am usually a late sleeper but I found it very difficult-scratch that-impossible to sleep last night.Usually when I am up all night it’s usually watching a game of soccer or doing work stuff.But last night-well last night I just couldn’t sleep.Would you believe that?So many years gone by man and I still can’t help remembering her on this day.Maybe I wouldn’t have if I didn’t run into her last year with that Hrithik Roshan look-alike toy wonder arm-candy of hers.But still,Hrithik or no Hrithik I shouldn’t be thinking of her.Not today.Not after so many years.Heh.Maybe if I had the brains I could have opened some hotshot website in the aftermath of her pain and become a billionaire by now and had a movie made on me.Maybe I should call her.Like right now.Tell her I miss her.No no get a grip on yourself you moron.Don’t even think about that.Are you nuts?She is happy in her life now why do you wanna spoil that?Isn’t it enough you hurt her badly once?I am gonna go get some sleeping pills now.Try and sleep it off.Maybe if I am lucky tonight’s the night I will OD and it will all end.

08 February 12 noon

Ok that was weird.I finally fell asleep and dreamt that I had become a footballer.A striker at that.I was approaching the empty net with the ball at my foot but when I kicked it,it went out over the post.And I suddenly heard her voice calling from the gallery-“You are a failure.You have let me down.” Soon she was joined by my friends in the gallery,my teachers and many people I knew.They were all chanting “Failure!” at me.I tried to run but no matter how hard I ran I was rooted to the spot.And they were getting closer.Kinda like zombies.Just then I woke up sweating all over.Wow that was just like a sequence out of Federico Fellini movie.Surreal.Damn I really gotta get her out of mind.Maybe I should call her.Clear things up.No no NO!!!Things like those happen only in movies.That too crappy bollywood movies.Damn I so hate that Hrithik Roshan wannabe!He could open a business.Hrithik Roshan-stealing girlfriends since 2000.DAMN I CAN’T BELIEVE I SOUND SO CHEAP!Well fuck it.Am off to see if there’s something to eat in the fridge.

08 February 4 pm

Well that was time well-spent.What a fuck-all movie!Why do they even bother making movies like this?And no sir it didn’t help me take my mind of her like Aniket suggested.Aniket is a good friend isn’t he?I mean he’s an absolute idiot but he’s got his heart in the right place and that’s what counts I guess.He won’t dump me surely.Or won’t he?Nowadays I can’t be sure.Okay that was kinda gay.Not that I have anything against gay people.Damn I am really going into a melodramatic overdrive.I really should call her.Maybe in the meantime I can auction off my self-respect and dignity as well.But what’s self-respect and dignity in case of love?Nothing,nothing I tell you,nothing!Ok seriously I don’t think I love her.I guess Woody Allen was right.This really is painful because she’s unattainable.Yes I truly want to be a member of the club which doesn’t want to have ,me.I am neurotic now.I know.Off.

08 February 10 pm

Ok seriously I shouldn’t even be writing at this point.I have been drinking for an hour and things seem very shaky all around.Like I’m on a ship.Aniket fell asleep talking about the numerous flings he had recently.Sometimes I envy him.I wish I could be like that.I once met a couple of Ani’s lady “friends”.To use Sheldon Cooper’s expression-dumber than a bag of rocks.Maybe I shouldn't judge.After all,what am I?I guess I am not calling her tonight.I might.I don’t think I will be in complete control of my faculties for long the rate at which I am drinking.Anything that happens after that I am not responsible for.Well that’s it I guess.Signing off now.

“You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line”

-Johnny Cash,”I walk the line”

The Greatest Performer

2011-02-04T12:41:00.000+05:30

Come gather round him everyone

Saints and sinners,

Losers and winners,

Sisters and brothers,

Forget all others.

Come gather round him folks

Highwaymen and sailors,

Prisoners and jailors,

Noblmen and commoners,

Forget all others.

Come gather round him people

Spies undercover,

Newlywed lovers,

Scholars really clever,

Forget all others.

For you’re gonna see tricks that will make your heart stop

You’re gonna see wonders that will make your jaw drop.

His tricks will leave you gaping,his act will blow your mind

An evergreen showman like him-You know you’ll never find

Introducing

Harun Al Rashid-Boghdad-er khalifa,juggler-er badshah

(the Caliph of Baghdad,the Badshah of jugglers)

P.S-This post is a tribute to the character Harun Al Rashid from the timeless Phatik Chand-a novel by Satyajit Ray,one of the greatest cultural personalities of the world ever.

Fernandez

2011-01-21T20:57:00.001+05:30

Fernandez was a guitarist

Fernandez was a jolly lad.

Fernandez lived an easy life

Satisfied with what he had.

Fernandez liked simple things

Fernandez didn’t like to fight.

Fernandez liked staying home

Than going out late at night.

Fernandez was dutiful

Fernandez never shied away

Fernandez always gave his all

“A darn good fella” as they say

Well everything was going fun till one day...

One day...

Fernandez fell in love.

Now Fernandez does all the things he’d usually never do.

It’s almost like a different Fernandez-not the one we knew.

His friends got annoyed with him and his guitar got ignored.

It seems a long long time ago that he played the last chord.

I told you this tale to show how Fernandez got destroyed

You can see love destroyed him-you don’t have to be Freud.

So all you merry fine young men-all you jolly jolly lads.

Try and stay away from love-be sensible,don’t be mad.

Wishes

2011-01-04T21:39:00.000+05:30

I wish I was a cowboy

In some forgotten western flick

Riding down a valley

Wowing gals with tricks

Playing an organ in the night

When the stars are out

And the town is quiet

Pouring out my troubles

To my friend-John,the barkeep.

I wish I was a farmer

Living in the countryside

A peaceful life

A beautiful wife

And Rex,the labrador

By my side.

Work in the fields hard all day

A delicious meal later

Hitting the hay.

I wish I was a country singer

In a long black overcoat

Travelling from town to town

Singing songs I wrote

Not a care in the world

Pleasing people young and old

I wish I wasn’t me

Struggling to come to terms

With my reality

Insecurities killing me

Sorrow anew filling me

Unkind words leaving me

A little dead each day.

No Going Back

2010-11-25T23:55:00.002+05:30

Say no to drugs and wannabe gangsta thugs

The night may be young but what’s that to me?

Elvis has left the building quite some time back

And you are still waiting-aww dude don’t you see?

The show’s over-party’s ended-go home and sleep

The jokes are old-the food’s cold-girl you can weep

Ain’t no going back now-things changed forever

You dont have a clue do ya?am trying to be clever

Universal admiration I ain’t gonna get homie

Won’t understand me,unless you really know me

But this ain’t about me-that ship has already sailed

This is about the people I know-people I have failed

I just wanted to say-I know-I really let you down

But that’s me-never the hero-always the clown

So I hope you forgive me-coz I really love ya all.

Hope ya take it in your stride-the rise and the fall.

The Truth

2010-11-02T15:51:00.003+05:30

“What is the truth?”-Pontius Pilate trying to be a smartass.

“You want the truth?You can’t handle the truth.”-Jack Nicholson on Tom Cruise wanting to sleep with The Truth.

“I always tell the truth.Even when I lie”-Al Pacino on how he rats out everyone's secrets to Inspector The Truth.

Truth-(not to be confused with the pro-wrestler with the in-ring name R-Truth who knows just one silly rap song and sings it every time and has jobbed in more matches than anyone in the history of pro-wrestling.And all characters in this article are fictional.Including the pro-wrestler mentioned in the previous sentence.Any resemblance is purely co-incidental.Now go chew on that.)

The truth is one of the most ambigious characters in human history.It is often said to be biased towards victors and unfair towards the defeated.The Truth could also be a bad sit-com starring Gerard Butler and Jon Cryer where there is nothing to laugh about but the laughter track is still rolling on the floor laughing.But that is just digressing from the point of the article which is to find the truth.

The truth is someone whom everyone claims to be looking for but no-one actually likes.

Case in point-

“I am a really bad person”-to this statement the answer in 90 percent of the case should be yes TRUTHfully.But the tried and tested answer which works in this case is “No your not”.

Truth has a hot girlfriend called Lies-whom everyone likes because she’s kind of a slut and usually satisfies everyone.As is the hypocritic nature of human beings everyone claims to hate lies but everyone is in bed with her.Yet truth sticks with this cheating bitch because without Lies there won’t be the Truth.

In his young age the truth used to be a very athletic and gullible guy.All brawns no brains.That’s why he could easily be twisted and manipulated.Nowadays no one bothers with that though.Whenever there’s a job to be done everyone employs his girlfriend.

Truth used to be bosom buddies with the fictional character Yudhistira-But he wasn’t much of an adviser.When he listened to truth Yudhistira lost his kingdom,had to go live in a forrest and share his wife with his 4 bro-hams.But one day after he listened to his other pal Krishna instead of Truth-he got back everything.Since then truth is never the best friend of everyone.

Truth is usually disliked by most because he is very arrogant and brash and doesn’t care for people’s feelings.Then there’s this dude called Poetic Justice whom Truth can’t stand and hamper his work at every possible chance.

Despite all his shortcomings-everyone meets Truth once in a life face to face-and even though he is a no-good angry foul-mouthed son of a bitch-most usually feel lighter after they have met him.Which is why I guess he still lives on to this day.

And with that I conclude this article.My parents did not send me to study engineering for this.Yet this is how pathetic I have become.And that’s the TRUTH.

A Long Forgotten Story

2010-10-04T12:20:00.002+05:30

People don’t change all of a sudden.People change bit by bit over time.Until they change so much that they become unrecognizable.People change because of various reasons.But a reason has to be there.Otherwise why would someone with a perfectly happy life change?I know you are wondering by now what this is all about-well,this is about my friend Rajeev.He was once my best friend.

Rajeev and I became friends at a very young age.Two frightened kids united by their fear of the unknown on the first day of school.Since then we were thick as thieves.As long as we were in school we did everything together.We played together,we fought against other kids together-we got caught and got punished together.Ah,those days!I think they have a name for that-they call it Utopia.

This went on for 10 years.We saw each other grow up-Our topics of discussion would change from cartoons and superheroes to girls and soccer.I remember at one point of time-we had crush on the same girl.FYI-she wasn’t interested in either of us.But that didn’t stop us from having a good laugh.

In Class 9,our sections were changed due to different additional.Now we got to see less of each other-We couldn’t hang out as much as we used to.Moreover I saw he made some new friends-Some people who didn’t have the best of reputation in school.I was kind of shy and introvert so I couldn’t make that many friends-Or any close friends at all.I concentrated on my studies.Meanwhile the changes in Rajeev were so marked that everyone was beginning to notice it.His dressing style had changed-he always had a cigarette between his lips.I tried to talk to him 2-3 times about this.Asked him why he had become like this-He used to react harshly on these occasions-told me that I had no right to judge him and that his new friends were far better friends than I ever was.

We reached class 11-12 and we grew further apart.Despite not being close friends anymore Rajeev had always kept contact with me.He used to call me up late at night when he was feeling sad or when he was in trouble.I missed my friend-so I used to take whatever time I could get with him.But now he even stopped calling me anymore.Sometimes his mother would call me up and ask me about his activities in school-I had no answer for her and it is at these moments I felt guilty and in some ways responsible for Rajeev.In the meanwhile I was in a lot of trouble myself with poor grades and studies-So I couldn’t concentrate on Rajeev’s problems any more.And slowly he faded from my mind.

After school ended I didn’t see him anymore.I went through college-wasn’t too successful.And in this struggle for existence I had forgotten about Rajeev completely.

More than 25 years have gone by.I am now in my 40s a typical middle-class Bengali man struggling to make ends meet for his family.Today I was reading the morning newspaper while having tea as usual when an article caught my eye-

“Gangster killed in shootout”

You guessed it right.The black and white picture underneath this caption belonged to my school friend Rajeev Sengupta.He changed so much as a human being over the years but his physical appearance was nearly the same.Handsome as ever.And the photograph brought so many memories back.I don’t think I will be able to concentrate at work today.

In the end I would like to say this-I don’t know the reason for his change.I don’t know whether his philosophy of living life on the edge was worse than my philosophy of living life safely in a hole.From this tale all I can tell you is that-I miss my school friend.Maybe if we were together our lives could have turned out better.Because no relationship is as unselfish and giving as the one among two best friends.

How to be an Indian Intellectual in 10 easy steps

2010-09-20T11:52:00.003+05:30

1.Hate Orkut.Show it.Even if you don’t hate orkut-show some hatred.Ridicule it.Generalize it’s users.This will earn you 10000 points in your intellectual account.

2.Show your public hatred of Chetan Bhagat.You may like him but do you want to be an intellectual or not?Remember how many crappy and clichéd IIT novels he inspired and your job will become easier.

3.Show your hatred for Twilight and Justin Bieber.Show it regularly.Show it frequently.Nothing says intellectual better than I hate Twilight and Bieber.It’s ok if you have no idea who or what they are.Most don’t so nobody’s gonna test you.

4.Be a communist.Or act like one.Throw in the words Marx,Lenin,philosophy,ideals,Che Guavera,Communist Manifesto in your conversations.Trust me no one will know the difference.Real communists will take the word out of your mouth and give you a long-winded explaination.Fakers won’t know the difference.They will think you are some big wiseass.

5.Now,this one is worth a 1000000 points so listen up carefully-Grow long hair.Wear some junk jewellery.Doesn’ matter if you are a guy or a girl.Dope and booze and wear Jim Morrison T-shirts.Form a band with another couple of wannabe intellectuals.Post pictures of yourself playing a guitar or boozing on Facebook.There ya go.You are an intellectual.It’s ok if you have no idea of who Jim Morrison,Kurt Cobain,Metallica etc are.Most of them don’t.

6.Now you have to realize how important Facebook is for this purpose.Facebook can make you.For example if you have seen half of Citizen Kane and felt pretty bored-it doesn’t matter.Go to Facebook and like Citizen Kane,Orson Welles and anything remotely related to that movie.Because intellectual people like Citizen Kane-do you want to be or intellectual or not?then suppose you overhear or oversee a couple of guys discussing French New Wave-you don’t have to know what it is-just go and like the damn thing on Facebook will you?Facebook likes are meant for showboating only.

7.Pretend to be a soccer fan.You don’t have to be one.Just say I support Manchester United.Remember they win a lot of trophies and you want to come off as an winner don’t you?Nowadays you can also support Barcelona-And on match-days you don’t even have to watch the goddamned matches-just update your status on Facebook and tweet with the following from time to time- “Go Barcaaaaaaaa” “GGMU” “Go Messiiiiiiiii”.

8.Show your hatred for commercial Bollywood.Make fun of Bollywood in every possible way.Even if you watch every damn movie of Bollywood-but remember-you are now becoming an intellectual and intellectuals hate Bollywood!!You can be an Aamir Khan or Anurag Kashyap fan though-most people think they are “different” making “different” movies-You don’t have to know like their movies-Just praise them a lot.And your job is done.

9.Use the F-word the MF-word,the B-word a lot.Throw it in before as many words as you can.That’s what intellectuals do.Don’t you watch MTV and Channel V reality shows?F-words are the in thing-so use them.

10.Write wannabe smart-ass blog posts which are hopelessly derivative or completely devoid of humour.Like this one.If you blog no one can stop you from being considered an intellectual.

Uninspired Ramblings

2010-08-31T19:38:00.000+05:30

I am not a bright kid-so think you can forgive me?
If I ain’t so cool tonight-think you’ll still love me?
I wanna be a smartass,pal-but I’ve had a hard day
A while back I even put my ego for sale on Ebay.
Tonight,brother-I envy the drunks and Superman
They aren’t bound by the shackles of life like I am
Wish we could just sit and chat like Kate and Leopold
I am afraid of the passing days-aware I’m growing old
My insecurities might prove stronger than my barrier
My wall of silence might succumb to my worst fears
Let’s forget all these sad thoughts-spread a little joy
You can be my Marilyn Monroe I will be Johnny Boy

So now that we got that settled-

Everybody have a seat coz am gonna let it rip
Nowadays my mind fails-inspiration rarely clicks
So who knows how long ‘tis ‘fore I end this gig
The end is near coz anyday now imagination R.I.P.

Hatred

2010-08-26T19:36:00.003+05:30

I was hearing a Beatles song a while back-“Give peace a chance.”It’s a very well meaning song no doubt but somehow it irked me.Don’t get me wrong-I love the Beatles-I totally do.But I disagreed with their song-give peace a chance-Goddamn it!!!Peace has been given a lot of chances already-look at our country-we were peaceful people and were plundered over the ages by the Pathans,the Moghuls,the British etc.Peace never works.Peace only works in Utopia.It’s war out there-always has been,always will be.

Fighting-I hear people saying this-“Fighting never solves anything”-Do these people really believe that?We have been fighting since the dawn of civilization.Fighting for our existence.We fight daily-for our lives,for our jobs,for our love.Fighting is a natural part of us.See whenever there is a street fight people gather round to watch.It's a primal instinct-why not embrace it?If we don’t keep at it we will obliterated.Because even if you don’t fight for your rights-no one will give it to you.You have to play by their rules-beat them at their game.

All these hypocrites nowadays-They slam rock and rap music-for being too violent,for spreading hatred,for profanities they say.They-whoever they are-claim that these are harmful for kids-that it influence children in a negative way-Influence in a negative way?Why because they teach them the truth about life?Because most of these rock and rap musicians had to fight their way up from the gutters-fight for every inch-they know what it is.Committing a crime is ultimately up to the offender.It’s got nothing to do with influence.Thousands of people listen to this kind of music-but what they make of it is completely up to them.Some people misunderstand the message in the songs.And anyday I will take this over your pop shit-which has songs mostly about love,heartbreak and blah blah blah-because life doesn’t begin or end with amour-Life is a continuous struggle for existence.

I hear this phrase quite a lot-“love conquers all”-Like hell it does!!The phrase “falling in love” has deeper meaning.Love gives you this sinking feeling.Love gives you weakness.Love opens that door behind which lurks of having your faith broken,your love betrayed.Hatred on the other hand depends on no one.Hatred acts on it’s own.Hatred fuels the vengeance.Hatred makes people do things they didn’t know they were capable of.And am not talking about the negative things-think of the positives-With hatred comes a furious urge to prove yourself-and that is a motivation love can never give you.

All I am saying is give hatred a chance-Hatred when channelled in the right direction can lead you unto great things-USE THE RAGE!!!

Implosion Explosion

2010-08-11T21:58:00.004+05:30

I kinda have anger issues-often find myself imploding
The anger builds up and I have difficulties unloading
But now fuck it-am gonna soften things down no more
If roses are red,violets are blue-too bad fuck you whore
And I hope you won’t take it personally fellas and ladies
That ain’t for you-it’s for the enemy of the Slim Shadys
Coz I got a beef with people who dare to fuck with The King
I wanna fuck them up like the former wives of Charlie Sheen
These gals really think they can ape Elvis and get away?
Hah! CRon has a better chance of turning out to be gay
And people are too touchy these days-easily offended
But doesn’t mean I’ma stop now-this war hasn’t ended.
Am tired of being polite-what’s the point of it anyway?
Gonna get buried all the same-at the end of the day
So I’ll be bringing the house down-as long as I feel tough
Tonight after a long time-Nightwing’ll hafta play it rough
Am taking the leap of faith into the fire under the frying pan
Tonight I am Clint Eastwood-Blondie meets Harry Calahan
And I don't care if no one else reads this goddamn crap
When I gotta diss and bash-I am gonna always try to rap

Yours Sincerely

2010-08-07T21:25:00.005+05:30

Dear Princess

It’s been years since we last met-
And I was just wondering how you’ve been.
I hope you are doing fine-
I read about your engagement the other day
I wanted to congratulate you but
I couldn’t make it-Even if I could-
I knew I wouldn’t be welcome.

I had a lot of dreams for you-
I wanted to be a part of your life
I wanted to see my little girl grow up
But Fate had other plans
I know I haven’t been the best father
I could’ve been
I know my faults aren’t easy to forgive
I know I abandoned you when you needed me
I was too brash and too ambitious
I chose career over family
But trust me princess-
I always loved you-you and your mother
I always missed you-
But your mother and I-we were young
We were stubborn
We let our egos decide right and wrong
Our eyes were blinded by pride
We couldn’t see our conceit
Tearing us all apart.
And as I sit alone in this deserted palace
Furnished with expensive belongings
To cover the hollowness of this farcical existence
I couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve been
If we would have been together.

And I am not writing to you
Hoping you’d forgive me
For the years of negligence
For all the times I wasn’t there
When you needed a shoulder to cry on
I don’t expect you to forgive me
For not being there in your joys and tears
I just hope you will remember our mistakes
In the new life you’re about to begin
It hurts a father to say this-
But I hope you won’t follow in my footsteps
I guess that’s all I can say now-
Wishing you all the happiness in the world-

Yours sincerely-Dad.

Remains of the Day

2010-07-29T15:19:00.005+05:30

It’s just another morning in Kolkata.Kolkata-My city.The place where I was born and brought up.The city where I have memories of all the important moments of my life.But this morning the city seems different and distant.Today all the sights and sounds of the city that I am so familiar with and have been for a long time-everything seems detached from me and my life.

It’s 8 am in the morning-I am sitting with all the newspapers circling out possible job opportunities.I have been doing this for over 3 months.Searching for newspapers-applying for job interviews and being rejected at the interview.It’s almost become a routine by now.My poor grades at school and college keep haunting me.I was never a very bright student.And I wasn’t much of a hard-worker either.So my grades came as a surprise to no one.But today the job openings were the last thing on my mind.I was still reeling from the events of yesterday.

It’s 10 am and I am getting ready to go out for today’s job interview.My mother looks at me proudly as I dress.It’s funny how she never lets me feel like a loser.She always treats me as if I am the most important person in the world.She always complements me when I dress up even though being of medium height,dark complexion and being overweight I really am not a head-turner.But that’s the best thing about my mother-She never loses her temper with me.She never makes me feel bad about myself.People say she spoils me-But she doesn’t care.I look at her face and feel pangs of guilt for abusing her leniency and love.I wonder if she knew about the events of yesterday how she would feel.

It’s 2 pm-and I sit down on a rickety bench in a rice hotel for my afternoon lunch.It’s surprising-no matter where you go in Kolkata you find these hotels where they provide a lunch in less than twenty rupees.A variety of people come here-From construction workers to taxi drivers to unemployed broke young people like me to nearby office staff.Everyday I observe these people while enjoying my lunch-I listen to them chat and express their opinions on almost all topics under the sun.Most are coming here for years and know each other really well.Listening to them livens up the dullest of my days.But not today-today there’s a huge weight on my mind-that nothing can lighten.

It’s 5 pm-I am sitting in a bus and returning home.My workday is like everyone else.The only difference is they go to work everyday and I go to apply for work everyday.It was this time yesterday that it happened.I was returning home like usual.The bus was over crowded and people were in a foul mood as usual.Little did we know of the tragedy waiting around the corner.The bus was near Maidan when it happened.The bus in front was going really slow-as is the nature of all near-empty buses in Kolkata.Just as our bus was overtaking this bus-A man came out of nowhere in front of the bus.I can still see it as if it was happening just now.The sickening smash,the blood splattered on the windscreen,the tumultuous shouts.A man who left his home and family in the morning perfectly healthy-won’t be returning to them anymore.How quickly it happened-a life built bit by bit for years-destroyed in a second.A family reduced from normal to grieving in a second.And these sights,visions and thoughts have been haunting me since yesterday.There are so many people who do wrong to the world-who hurt people,take lives and commit all kinds of wrong-doing.And yet God chose this man-someone who was there only because he had to go to work for his family.

It’s 9 pm and I am roaming aimlessly in Gariahat.I didn’t feel like returning home so early and listening to Dad’s criticism of my life and pointing out my mistakes.I needed to be alone.And now it’s late.I see all around people readying to call it a night.I see people wrapping up for the day.Tomorrow will be another day to start afresh.But for tonight the war has ended temporarily and the soldiers are tired.Tonight in this rainbow city of my mine-people are just picking up the remains of the day.

Ramblings of a Rainy Day:Heartache for a Paradise Lost

2010-07-24T15:09:00.003+05:30

I am trying to be the smartass dude-to get into a flow
But today I am too indifferent to tell tales of woe
It’s been raining all day long-and I am melancholy now
And Cohen’s Hallelujah is getting me high somehow
Maybe at the stroke of midnight cometh the 3 ghosts
The 3 ghosts of reminiscence-future,present and past
The bestseller novel was unceremoniously cast aside
As I look out of my window-and up at the cloudy sky
Today I wish I was 10 again-floating boats in puddles
Before life’s tyranny rendered me dumb and befuddled
Our minds are so twisted now-we fail to think straight
Fail to love the simple pleasures-we are so full of hate
Our peers control our likes,dislikes-the society our dreams
Happiness has lost the war-now Ambition reigns supreme
But no matter how big you get-you will always feel a pain
When you see a 10 year old-floating boats in the rain.

Jokerboy

2010-07-14T23:53:00.001+05:30

I am Superman Prime,the Time-Trapper
I ain’t a gangsta-naah not a crime rapper
I am damned to an eternity of sociopathy
These humanoids don’t have my sympathy
I know what they say-they call me a freak
But if ya ask me-they ain’t allowed to speak

I am Harvey Dent-They call me Two-Face
I am the biggest hypocrite around this place
For every time I pick I side-I try to be unfair
I can’t face the truth-so I try to do a dare
The number two has always fascinated me
Coming out second-best is a habit,you see

I am the goddamn Batman,no not Bruce Wayne
I ain’t borderline psychotic-am just plain insane
I don’t hafta do drugs-this beatdown gets me high
Some say I am a sadist-I say DIE CRITICS DIE!!
Some say it’s a compulsion-I don’t have a choice
I say you are freaking nuts- in my gruff bat-voice

I am Clark Kent-the timid mild-mannered man
I have a huge crush on Lois Lane-if only I can
Tell her that I am the guy with fists of steel
And I am from Krypton-stop calling me Smallville
I can fly,I can shoot laser-Hey you know that bloke?
Harry Potter-I can see him in his invisibility cloak.

HULK SMASHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S:This is what happenes when you don't have anything constructive to write... :D

Confessions

2010-07-11T10:53:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I wonder why I write this stuff
I know they are generic-I try to act tough
But I know they suck-a waste of your time
I’d be arrested if bad writing was a crime

All I do ever is diss,complain moan and whine
And find an excuse for every mistake of mine
And blame all the people who tried to help me
Pretend being blind-easier to look away than see

I try to be the Dude-but I fail to be the man
I fail to be the Dude too-I don’t think I can
Charm people off their feet-that ain’t me
I can only try to cheer you up unsuccessfully

I shirk responsibilities-I can shoulder none
I remain the same immature frivolous one
I try to cover that up and I say I am a rebel
But the truth is-coward is more apt a label

My friends try to help me-I turn them away
This way I have lost many friends to this day
Yet others keep coming and trying to help me
Some feel I am misguided-they don’t know me

Things change all the time-yet they stay the same
I figured this out long ago-this is not a game
We ultimately learn to live with what we’ve done
I guess it’s my fate to be the unrepentant one.

Going against Gender Stereotypes

2010-07-06T15:17:00.002+05:30

Hmm.I usually don’t do tag posts-But this is an interesting one.Sins against gender stereotypes-I won’t bore you with a long winded explanation of what gender stereotypes are because I know you won’t bother going through it-I wouldn’t if I were you.But the main reason is because I don’t want to-So chuck the appetizers and let’s the begin the main course-The things I am supposed to do or love as a guy but which I don’t enjoy-

1.No smoking/drinking-I don’t smoke.I don’t drink. Almost all the guys I know smoke.Most drink.It’s not that I am bound by some moral code or I think smoking or drinking is “wrong”-neither is it because it’s harmful for health.I tried to smoke one day-found the taste horrible and haven’t done it since.As for drinking,after school I sometimes used to have a beer once in 6 months.But now I have given that up too.

2.Not a rock music fan-I am not a rock music fan.Most of the guys I know are crazy rock music fans.They swear by Pink Floyd,live by Metallica.They eat Iron Maiden,drink Coldplay.Except for alternative and classical rock,I find rock music extremely annoying-And I can’t stand metal-It seems to me,those fellas in the bands try to pass off noise as music.

3.My dress sense-Most of the guys around me are always wearing jeans and tees.But I love wearing full-sleeve shirts and trousers. I guess this isn’t much of a point but it still makes me stand out like an odd duck.

4.I hate action movies-What is the matter with me?Guys are supposed to LOVE action movies!!And here I am-who finds them stupid,over-the-top and extremely idiotic.I don’t even like them for time pass.Yep for me,action movies suck!!

5.Not a gadgets freak-This is yet something which most guys love.They go crazy over the latest gizmos and cool gadgets-I am not particularly intrigued by those.I have no interest Ipad,Iphone etc.I hate touch-phones coz I suck with them and use an outdated Motorola model with just an FM radio and no other features.I find these new gadgets too cumbersome and hard to manoeuvre.

6.I hate porn-Well this might be hard to believe for some people-in fact most-but that’s the truth-I am a guy who abhors porn.Let me tell you the origin story of this problem-I was in class 12 when a friend decided to show me porn-I felt sick seeing it-I had to go and throw up-It seemed so vulgar-Later that night I couldn’t sleep-kept sweating.Many of my friends know this already-Since that day I have never tried to watch porn.

Well I guess that sums it up I guess.Other than these stuff-I am pretty much I guy-ish guy and do all the stuff guys does-From football mania to being a glutton to eyeing random hot girls on the street-I like it all.
I am not tagging anyone in this post-Anyone who wants to do it feel free to take up this tag-I guess that’s it for now.Have fun.

Some Objections

2010-06-30T12:16:00.000+05:30

Good Morning ladies and gentlemen.I usually don’t write posts on controversial topics but today the topic of my post is feminism and some of my objections to it.

Firstly I will take up the issue of equality-they claim they want equality and they are not getting them-HELLO!!!!Look around-Women now get all the facilities and advantages men get-In most countries in the west they have been getting them for a long time-and in our country also post-independence in most places things have been equal for a long long time.And in this age-what is there to complain about-women are rampant in all fields and are doing as well as their male counterparts.Some of the notable women in their fields-
Sonia Gandhi-President of the Indian National Congress.
Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw –Chairman and Managing Director of Biocon Ltd
Kiran Bedi-retired IPS officer
Barkha Dutt-Group Editor,English News,New Delhi Television.
The above 4 are just a few examples of the many of women who had made it to the top.They made it to the top in fields which are thought to be male-dominated.What does this prove?Those who have talent make it.There are some who,if they don’t make it will start blaming it on gender bias instead of recognizing their own lack of talent.I know some of you will say-those are just one or two examples-they are exceptions not rules.In response I can show you a list of a number of female high-profile politicians and journalists in the country.By the way,only two persons qualified from West Bengal last year for the Indian Administrative Service.And guess what?Both were women.Got my point?Some more information-the pass percentage of girls in Secondary and Higher Secondary exams have been better than boys for quite some time now.It’s not an exception any more-it’s become the rule.In India and most civilized countries in the world-women aren’t subjected to any sexual bias-may be it exists within the mind of some men-but now there are hardly any outward displays of it.

Another example-A friend of mine recently went to do his training at a reputed institute of this country.His mentor kept dilly-dallying for days and the work wasn’t starting.But when a girl arrived on the scene the job got done within a day.Now isn’t that inequality?Feminists might say to that how is the girl responsible-They are right-she isn’t.But if the opposite thing happened they would be the first to start shouting about inequality.

Which brings me to my next point-the female infanticides,the honour killings,the forced marriages-these are things which should be really concerning.But we don’t see feminists bother much about these issues.If they were really bothered about women rights-why haven’t they been doing something about these heinous crimes except condemning them in the strongest words?These killings are still rampant in some parts of India but the feminists haven’t been taking any drastic actions to stop them-And I will give you the reason why-because they don’t bring as much limelight as a Jesicca Lal murder case.These women and girls whose names even they don’t know deserve justice as much as Jesicca does.But they won’t ever make the front page of the newspaper.They will be buried in a coloumn in one of the centre pages.Where they will be read about,righteous indignation will be expressed and forgotten in a day or two.That’s the reality.If feminists really want to do something they should do something for the betterment of the lives of these women.

Another thing I have seen about feminists is that they keep harping on the same issue-About how they were oppressed and tortured for so many years.Yeah they are right-it’s shameful.But it has ended now!!!Things have been different now for quite some time!!!MOVE.THE.HELL.ON.Why should we suffer for what people did long time ago?Why do men of this generation get accused for what we didn’t do?
Now let’s come to the modern day women with a feminist attitude-If a guy sees his girl flirting with some other guy and asks her to cut it out,in maximum occasions her reply is –“Oh you are so possessive and jealous-typical male chauvinistic attitude.”Although she would have acted the same way if the guy flirted with another girl.This is a typical example of the current day feminist who also uses the word “space” a lot.And “moving on”.

In conclusion this is what I would like to say-In this modern day society there isn’t much difference between men and women.They are equal and most men see women as their equal and are NOT insecure or jealous in any way.In fact,I find nowadays men feel proud if their partners or spouses have risen greatly in life.This is the I.T age and not the middle ages.If feminists really want to do something they should find out a permanent solution for the betterment of the lives of the women in those parts of the country where prejudice and bigotry still exist.And until it does that it will be just a philosophy of big words and outdated ideas.You want equality-feminism promotes inequality.Feminism keeps pointing out the fact that they are men and you are women.I read somewhere a person opined feminism looks to avenge the oppression of women by oppressing men.Now that is just not right.There are evil men-but there are good men.It must be made sure that in their over-zealous quest for justice-A good man doesn’t become the victim.That’s all I have to say on this.

P.S-If some of my lady friends see this I might get killed or lynched.

Burned Out

2010-06-28T00:55:00.000+05:30

My faith is like a CD that has too many scratches
My fate is Jonty Rhodes-it has too many catches
My words have lost their edge-the fire is gone
Eyes have lost their sparkle-my voice is a drone
My hands feel so numb-I cannot feel a thing
Only my heart can still feel-a burn and a sting
Life doesn’t have a purpose-we make up stuff
I won’t play your game and I won’t call your bluff
The worst of your venomous words fail these days
The time has come for us to go our separate ways
We played this game for way too long-now I’m bored
My fingers ache and a layer of rust covers my sword
I feel so sedated-my eyes are heavy with sleep
You are just a memory now-No more do I weep.

What Women Want

2010-06-25T11:24:00.003+05:30

As I begin to write this it occurs to me I might be making a mistake.I mean what do I know about women?I don’t think women themselves know clearly enough what they want.So how can a guy of the opposite gender who has very little experience with women??That was a joke.The first part-about women not knowing what they want.The second part is absolutely true.So you might be forgiven if you consider it somewhat of an audacity for me to even try to write something on this topic.I won’t forgive you-someone else might.

Ok,enough BS-ing around.Let’s get down to the brass tacks.What do women want??A million-dollar question that is nearly as unanswerable as the which-came-first-chicken-or-egg question.

There are many people who think women want true love,someone to understand them,to achieve their dreams,etc etc,blah blah,yap yap yap.Yeah sure may be they want all those.But do you see what lies behind ALL of those??The choice to make her own decision.

And that,my friends,is what I think women really want-having the option to decide for themselves what they really want.And to be able to take that decision without being judged by others.For example-and this is just an example-if a girl leaves a guy for another guy-she is subjected to all sorts of vile adjectives-she is JUDGED by everyone.She becomes the villain(or vamp).BUT WHY?If she doesn’t love the first guy anymore and is in love with the second guy-why can’t she do what she wants without being judged?

Another example-I feel in many countries,not just ours-spinsters are looked upon with far more suspicision and contempt than bachelors.Parents are always so eager to marry off their girls.Remember Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice?And if a girl doesn’t comply with the will of the parents or the society she is subjected to emotional blackmail from her family,while being judged by the rest of the society.Here again we see-even though it’s a free and liberal society we stay in-women really do not get to choose and decide what they want.Of course I am not talking about every one.I am talking about society in general.

In a country like ours where female infanticides and honour killings are dime a dozen,sometimes the only choice women can make is to stay alive by falling in line.Maybe that’s one of the biggest reasons we are a third world country.I think it was Swami Vivekananda who said that a country cannot rise to greatness if it doesn’t respect it’s womenfolk.That’s what is needed here.If a woman is trying to make a decision they should have a choice.We need to stop judging others.

So to conclude-What others say-true love,someone who will respect them,etc,etc may vary from person to person.But this is what I really think women want.To be able to make a choice.To be able to take their own decisions.

--------------------------------------

This entry is written for the Blogadda contest What Women Want in partnership with www.pringoo.com

Love Found

2010-06-23T00:21:00.001+05:30

Have you ever had this feeling –you have so much to say
But words keep betraying you and you keep looking away
When your lips just wouldn’t move and convey what it feels
But then you’ve always lacked the basic communication skills
When it came to playing hardball-you were game for a fight
But your punchlines and jokes have all but dried up tonight.
You’ve given tall and clever speeches before men wise and old
And all it took to shut you up was a date with a pretty girl
You love the smallest things about her-and yet you can’t express
All you can do tonight it seems is smile and stare at her face
If only you were a sorcerer and could make this night last
But soon it will be midnight-Cinderella’s time fades fast
And as you look into her eyes it hits you from the blue-
It doesn’t matter if she knows or not so long your love is true.
You just want her to smile this smile and be this happy forever
And realizing that my friend-that was something really clever.

P.S-This is my first attempt at a love poem.Don't criticize it too harshly even if it sucks.

Right Here Write Now

2010-06-21T16:11:00.000+05:30

I have been entrusted to write a play for the kids to enact during a function in our neighbourhood. Now don’t ask me why they chose me of all people-I guess I am the only one who would do it for free. And the guy whose play they could criticize if the audience doesn’t laugh. 8 hours from the morning and I can’t think of anything funny to write about. I don’t know if this happens with all comedy writers. I have no idea because I have never attempted to write one. I usually write dark stuff-you know-the ones which you read after your girlfriend has dumped you-or you have failed a maths test. Yeah man-I write some heavy shit-good or bad-either way it’s guaranteed to make you feel suicidal. So what do I know about writing a comedy?
Well honestly these committee people don’t care-Ha ha. COMMITTEE-remember we were told in our English classes-that is the only word with double m,double t and double e.HA HA. Funny.
Ok coming back to what I was saying-they want a comedy written and they want it now-they could have just adopted some old comedy story performed a gazillion times but no!!! They have to put this on me to humiliate me.
This is what I was thinking when my mobile started vibrating loudly. I hate the ringtone of my cell phone-But this is an old model where only one ringtone is available.I tried keeping it on vibrate mode but as I am a thick-skinned person so couldn’t feel the vibrations most of the time-made me miss my mother’s phone calls many times-She figured I was doing drugs or alcohol in the least.
So anyway this wasn’t my mother who was calling-and NO!!!unlike One Night @ Call Centre it wasn’t God either. Now here’s something I don’t understand.Why would the caller ID there show God calling???I mean if even God obtained that guy’s number(pretty tough job considering the huge database he had to sift through to obtain one loser guy’s number) then shouldn’t it just display God’s number. Anyway I have always maintained God won’t waste his balance on a loser even if he does want to talk to him.At best he would give a missed call.Or sms him if he had free sms balance.
So as I was saying-it was my best friend calling.Well technically I don’t have a best friend because I am the dark brooding kinda guy-at least I think of myself like that.I’M BATMAN!!Ok well my friend was calling to see if I would be able to accompany him and a bunch of other guys to a Hindi movie that evening.Yeah right-I don’t have anything else to do,do I?It’s not as if little kiddies are looking up to me to write them a comedy so that they can enact it.
And I just sat there staring at the Microsoft Word document-with Eminem songs playing in the background.And for the uninitiated Eminem songs aren’t exactly the best inspiration for a comedy-Let me illustrate-most Eminem love songs end with him raping or killing the girl-I mean FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!I like dark and brooding but that ain’t cool-that’s disgusting.
A little later the World Cup is about to begin-funny thing about the World Cup-It turns harmless meek Bengalis into Brazilian tigers,Argentinian animals and German lions for a month.Funny as hell to see them shouting-“AMADER BRAAAZIL JITECHHE(Our Brazil has won).
Another thing about the World Cup is that only famous countries get to play their-look at some of the teams there-Japan-famous for earthquakes and animes...Brazil-famous for Orkut hackers....England-famous for bad food and weather...South Africa-famous for racial tension and Vuvuzelas...crap India ain’t famous for anything..We can never play the World Cup.

Anyway it’s time for the World Cup.I am giving this up as a bad job.Will have to inform the C-O-M-M-I-T-T-E-E people.HA ha.Ok that’s it for now.I’ll see ya around.bye bye.

P.S.-I know the question on your mind right now-What the f***???

An Explanation

2010-06-19T15:32:00.000+05:30

All this cursing and dissing finally made me tired
It’s like my heart’s burning-it’s always on fire
A fire that just won’t let me stop and admire
Dissing from pop music down to teenage vampires
This stuff I write is starting to stench of frustration
It’s as if this blog is one big advert for depression
But please allow me to make use of this occasion
Please have a seat and hear me out-my explanation.
I am the same guy who once made you laugh
But for some time now I’ve been acting tough
I was trying to be someone else all this time
We all make mistakes-well this one’s mine.
But now that it’s out there-let’s move on
From now I shall respect others’ opinions.
Dissing someone just like that just ain’t cool.
People who love that are exceptions not rules.

I am fucking around you fools-are you for real??
Fuck what others think-I am gonna write what I feel
You must be nuts if for a sec you believed that crap
Hell man..I just needed a buncha lines for my rap

Ha ha....like Batman would say...Gotcha!!!!!

Regrets and Misconceptions

2010-06-18T14:47:00.002+05:30

I once knew a pretty young girl
She loved me more than life
But when I started loving her back
She was someone else’s wife.

I once had a nightmare
A nightmare I always feared
But when that nightmare came true
All my fears disappeared.

I once used to laugh
And scorned those who cried
But nowadays only crying
It seems can get me high

I once had a vision
A passion as strong as fire
But when the vision was realized
I wasn’t there to admire.

I once used to think
I am right and they are wrong
And when I came to my senses
They were long gone.

One Day

2010-05-24T13:18:00.008+05:30

One day

One day I shall lay down the arms

And stop fighting for a lost cause

One day I shall stop self-destructing

And perhaps shall condemn my sins

One day I shall a spare a thought

for the people I hurt,for the broken hearts

One day I shall reconnect with reality

And fall back on this barren earth

One day I shall wake up from my nightmares

And surround myself with worldly fears

One day I will regret my actions of today

One day I will shed a drop of tear.

But not today-

Today I chase my heart’s desire.

Virtually Real

2010-05-22T22:16:00.000+05:30

Nowadays when I look around I see how the internet has become an intrinsic part of our lives.Previously people had friends.We had the television.Now we have the internet.Sample these:

1.Previously we had sessions of gossip over the telephones and in the neighbourhood roadside stalls.Now we have sessions of debating on different forums and chatting via the different chat programs.

2.There was a time when socialising meant going out with people.Going to parties or on outings,meeting new people making friends.For our generation of young adudlts socialising mainly means Facebook,Myspace,Orkut etc.

3.”So how did you guys first meet?” previously at this question the blushing couple would look coyly at each other and then state how they first met at a party or some festival or some ceremony.Nowadays most people meet in these goddamn social networking sites.”We met on Facebook!”Damn it!!Whatever happened to good old school romance and discreet courting?

4.Our parents get their dose of news and happenings around the world from the newspapers and the News channels.Most of us get our daily share of news from Google,Yahoo,the different news sites or as is the latest fad Twitter.

5.Old school friends or acquaintances you haven’t had the chance to meet in a while keep in touch via the internet.

So you see-for many of us,our lives are virtually dependent on the internet.How about that huh?Terminator 5 the rise of the internet!!!

So the next question is-Is this a good thing or a bad thing?Unfortunately the answer isn’t that easy.Like every phenomenon of recent times-Internet to has it’s good sides and it’s bad sides.It’s like nuclear energy.You can use it whichever way you want to.

Let’s discuss some of the perceived ill-effects of the Internet:

1.It exposes young children to certain things beyond their age.Out of natural curiousity they take in these things which often tend to have a bad impact on their growing years and leads to a lot of adolescent rage.

2.Cyber crime rates have increased so much.These crimes are directly the result of the widespread acceptance of the internet.Rather the dependence on Internet.

And now what are the good effects?Basically there are a lot of uses of the internet-however to name a few:

1.We can meet people of different countries and different parts of the world through the net.We come to know of various cultures and different ways of life of people through here.

2.We get to meet a lot of like-minded people who share the same interests and the same views as us.

3.Sites like Wikipedia are a huge database of information and helps enrich our knowledge about various noteworthy events of this world.

4.The internet has become a source of jobs for many people .

So we see that the benefits of the virtual world far outweigh the ill-effects.It’s not a bad thing to be addicted to the net as long as you are using it constructively.So I guess in the end we can definitely say-LONG LIVE THE INTERNET!!!

MA ARE YOU READING THIS???

The Winds of Hate

2010-05-02T14:52:00.002+05:30

I know there will never ever be someone like me again
Or maybe there will be someone,someone who will offend
All you straight-laced straight-faced strait-jacketed individuals.
Whose biggest and only fears in life are freaks and homosexuals.
A population so obsessed,obscenely fixated with striking gold
Every word you speak,every letter makes my heart grow cold
Colder than ice,I have grown immune to your charms and guile
Coz every time you smile at me,I am afraid your smile might kill.
I stand separated from y'all as you surge ahead past me in life-
I dont wanna die of self-pity,I would rather be killed by a knife
But pray tell me this,coz I simply fail to grasp your mentality
Why do you keep asking me to stay grounded to reality?
I'm no bird-I don't wanna fly-But I dont wanna always conform
I wont live by the rules you made-Abide all your social norms
All I ever asked for was not being forced to do what I hate
And still be able to live my life and not meet with Galileo's fate
People think I'm crazy,I'm nuts but that's only a point of view
Like from where I stand cows and goats look better than you
So this is how it is-you hate me and I cant stand the sight of you
So for now I am gonna leave you in peace-time to bid adieu
But don't relax,be alert-Like Arnie said-"I'll be back"
Sit tight pals,It mightn't be long before I launch my next attack.

A New War

2010-04-28T20:33:00.004+05:30

I have never been a winner
Will always be a sinner
Will never be able to undo my crimes
Just another guy
To make people cry
Another life not worth a dime

The days aren't to blame
The nights aren't the same
Every night a new war is lost
The fight seems in vain
The heart fills with pain
Another soul this war has cost

The light has faded
The earth seems jaded
People have resigned to fate
But a sword shines bright
Approaches a knight
Filled with murderous hate

Only his righteous anger
Can rattle these rusty armours
Onwards he leads us on into the fight
'Coz though am no winner
Am no saint,just a sinner
This time will battle with all my might.

Death's Dark Knight

2010-04-16T22:00:00.003+05:30

Every night when the world's asleep

Every night when spurned lovers weep

My hero stands revealed to the world

My hero shines bright as gold

Darkness makes him pure as a sage

Fills him up with strength and rage

Strength to move mountains with hands

Rage to create dark magic sans wands

My hero alone fights the good fight

Stands alone against evil's might

Battered and bruised in battle he fell

Death of a knight,a true rebel

He breathed his last in the middle of nowhere

Unknown to the ones who love and care

He has long escaped heroism's allure.

Therein.my friends.lies his true valour.

What Happened To Us?

2010-04-06T17:24:00.002+05:30

A star-spangled sky,a gentle breeze

That's all your imprisoned dreamer needs

To release him from his world of pains

Bound by reality's rusty chains

The childhood days seem another life

Simpler people and simpler times

Dreams were then the order of the day

Black and white ruled,nothing was grey.

This world is filled with lies and hate

Spite and jealousy rules our fate

Love is just the foreplay for lust

Somewhere we have forgotten trust.

But the dreamer still lives on in us.

Even as we carry this age's curse.

Cursed not to love the sky,the trees.

The star-spangled sky,the gentle breeze.

Nightwing R.I.P

2010-03-27T16:01:00.004+05:30

I am tired of all the games
The hurt caused by old flames

I am tired of all the pain
Felt when your best goes in vain

I am tired of all the noise
Can't hear my own voice

I am tired of all the masks
And the questions they ask

I am tired of all the reprimands
And fulfilling all demands

I am tired of expectations
Also statements and declarations

I am tired of being left out
My heart being filled with doubt

I am tired of being alone
Always living in my own zone

I am tired of all the tears
Matured beyond my years.

I am tired of making these rhyme
And just wasting my time.

So adieu my friends
this is where it all ends.

Nightwing's time has come
Fare thee well me chums.

Tears and Smiles

2010-03-16T20:53:00.004+05:30

Tears and smiles all around
Parading the authenticity of emotions
Tears and smiles buried deep
Under the weight of pre-conceived notions

Silence and eyes full of pain
Leave a wound burnt more deep
Deeper than a thousand hateful words
Shouted by a voice choked with rage

Life isn't as good as you hear
From celebrities and evangelists
But life ain't that bad either see
As made out by Metallica wannabes

Sorry may be the hardest word
But harder it is to forgive past faults
Moving on isn't as easy as it seems
Once you possess some shattered dreams

A new day is another shot
Another chance to start anew
Try not to throw it away this once
Like you have done all your life.

Don't worry dudes and dudettes...you are gonna be fine....

Times and Life

2010-03-08T14:04:00.002+05:30

Nowadays all around we hear this-This country sucks..It's going to the dogs.You don't have to look far.Look around you and you will find a lot of people complaining about how this country is morally corrupt,culturally vacant,financially bankrupt.In short an absolute hell-hole of a place for people to live.Don't worry!!I am not like those BJP dudes or the fellas who work for Shivsena.I am not here to defend them.Because mostly people are right.

But yes-I want to make a stand.I think this country has a lot of problems too.And those who know me will tell you that I have no great allegience towards my country.But I guess that's just it-You can't live in a country like India without falling in love with it.

I will bring forth the main complaints against our country and make my stand:

1.Corrupt Politicians-People are always going on about how the politicians are destroying the country.All of them are corrupt.they aren't concerned with our needs-They just care for their power.Yes it's true to some extent.There are many politicians in the country,who,judging from the reports abuse their power-But I refuse to accept the fact that all politicians are like that.There are many who care for the people-This is not a poor regional movie where the government is run by corrupt baddies.This is the real world occupied by real people.If they are unable to provide us with better than this then that's because this is the best they can do.You can change governments after 5 years but you have to remember that governments are run by politicians not magicians.Their hands are also bound by finances,limited infrastructure and many other factors.Spare a thought for them.

2.All sports other than cricket being neglected-For the people who think like that,this is what I have to say-Only in cricket has India achieved so many accomplishments.Cricket was also like all other games at one time.But due to some able administrators and great cricketets have this game been able to achieve this status.There was a time when hockey and football were equally revered in India.First let the football team qualify for the World Cup.And let the hockey team NOT get thrashed in every game at least.tab phir dil denge hockey-ko.

3.Trashing the system-Nowadays courtsey You-know-who trashing the system has become fashionable.Our education system sucks,our law enforcement system sucks,our political systems suck.If you fail at what you do blame the system!!!To those people who think the system is flawed I have this to say-Many many people,better and much more talented than us have risen through the same system and succeeded in life.For not one or two years,for many years now.Yeah sure the system is flawed.But you get a perfect system only in Utopia.In every country the system has some flaws.That's the way life is.Nothing is perfect.We have to adjust and make do with whatever we have.

4.Twitter-Celeb Bashing-Well this is for the self-professed intellectuals.I read a blog post couple of days back where some dude has trashed celebrities and what they do on twitter.He proved point by point how every celeb is a dumb-ass and he is a perfectly rational sensible intelligent person.AB jr was bashed because he loves to praise his father and is obsessed with music.Roshan Jr was bashed because he is a workaholic.Of course praising your father,being obsessed with music and being a workaholic are dumb things that no rational sensible perfectly intelligent person will ever do.Shah Rukh and KJo were bashed just like that.And Priyanka Chopra was bashed because she mistyped 'moan' instead of mourn.HELLO...YOU EVER HEARD OF A TYPO?To all those people I want to say if you don't like them-don't read 'em.Simple as that.Don't be so hypocritic as to secretly follow them and then insult them pretending to be an intellectual.No one is perfect.Not them not you,so give it a rest!

5.Teleserial bashing-Ok..most of you people are well educated-have been exposed to western culture and in general your tastes don't match with these teleserials filled with melodrama,conspiracies,etc.But pause for a second and think-That not many in the country has gotten that chance.They feel happy watching something they can relate to.Something to look forward to after long hard days of work.The Saas-Bahu dramas and shows may look and feel extremely cheap to you but many others enjoy them.So stop bashing them.Don't like them then don't watch them.

Some time back I watched a movie called Zombieland.There was a dialogue there-'Enjoy the little things in life'.This line stuck in my mind.Life is too small for nitpicking and being uptight.You have to let your hair down,relax a little.No one's gonna think any less of you if you enjoy those things which your "standard" and "status" doesn't allow you to.This life is too short to be wasted on judging everything and passing an opinion.There,what started off as an article to defend some accusations against my country had turned into a life advice article.But what the hell,chuck it!!!Like I said,who cares?It's not the end of the world is it??

People,People!!

2010-02-28T20:16:00.001+05:30

People are present all around us
Some we hate,some we love

Some are crazy,some are gay
Some people just won't go away

Some people make you laugh all night
Some are always in the mood for a fight

Some bring you joy when you are down
Some just love to act the clown

Some of 'em are awful poets like me
Some bore others with idiosyncrasies

Some just love to hate every damn thing
Often the only thing they love is wrestling

Some only have a ton of virtual friends
facebook,myspace and tweeting new trends

Some people's smiles don't reach their eyes
Some are pretty stupid but think they are wise

Some are just bitter and cynical of life
Mostly coz there's no one to give 'em high five

Some people are alone-really lonely
the predominant word in their life is only

Some just dont know when to say what
Wrong thing at the wrong time,ouch!!spare a thought!!!

Some are extremists-a little more than others
But they shouldn't be cast away-they are our brothers.

Some are hopeless romantics-always in pain
Mostly they are doped and slashing their veins

Some are very sensitive-easily offended
Some think they are smart,but really are brain-dead.

Some are quite juvenile but claim they are mature
Some are called geeks and freaks of nature

But no matter how they are we rememember them all
We need to cherish them,stop being judgemental.

The last couple of lines felt like torture
Hope it didn't leave any permanent scar.

People We Know

2010-02-18T22:51:00.002+05:30

The Universal I
Speaking for us
About People like me
And People we know

People think I am
A materialistic capitalist
An unrealistic communist
A parody of a maverick
A forgotten limerick
A sorry punchline
A succulent grapevine
A hard-luck tragedy
Without a remedy
A self-indulgent intellectual
A rebel ineffectual

I take this chance
To state where I stand
To clear the air
and say what's fair
Because ever since birth
Have often gone unheard

I am not alone
I am all of us
People like me
People we know
And they are me

We are the challengers
To this society of pretenders
Our caustic comments
Cause a lot of torment
We hit out
and get beat down
We say what we know
We cant stand the fact
That people let it go

We are not new age heroes
We just want to make a difference
We have been mute for centuries
Time for us to mount an offense
We lose battles everyday
Perhaps small ones
Failing to live upto expectations
Perhaps grander ones
Failing to mend broken relations
But what we never lose
Is our hope
That maybe tomorrow
Tomorrow will be a better day
Tomorrow
The sun will shine on me
and bask me in it's glory
Tomorrow those lost battles
The smaller ones and the grander ones
Will be a bad nightmare.
A forgotten memory
lost in the chasms of our minds.
Tomorrow we will claim
What we have fought for all along
That is why even though we lose the battles
We keep fighting the war

And that is who I really am
A glimpse of hope in the darkest nights
A lost cause
A never-ending struggle

That is who we are
for I am everybody
People like us
People we know.

It's Just In My Mind

2010-02-14T12:50:00.003+05:30

I am busy taking potshots
bringing down hotshots
It's Valentine's day
Singles trying to make hay
but that ain't my goal
not the way that i roll
I am thinking billionaires
Wonder how they got there!!
Sonofaguns stole my tricks
dealt me a couple kicks
All of that is bullshit
I'm just a deadbeat
All around see black ops
shooting down 'em rogue cops
Hallucinating countrymen
always ask where and when
Inequalities equated
Devil's actions advocated
Opinionated egosters
Overrated superstars.

Punch drunk love
Over and above
Attack of the clones
Shattered several bones
Intellectual debates
Post New Year rebates
Once upon a time
Lived superman-prime
damned if you try
to relate all the lines
Anything can be proved
trashed and removed.

All the little animals got screwed
Life is just as it is viewed
Paranoia claimed my soul
Superbad makes me feel old
Back where I started it seems
Nightwing has lost all his dreams
The end of the beginning has began
It's game over for jokes and fun.
Time to end this fiasco of a song.
Close your eyes poof!!and I am gone.

Point of View

2010-02-09T18:43:00.003+05:30

Well....just sharing certain interesting observations I have made recently...I mean they seem pretty uninteresting to you...but I found them mildly interesting...

1.As all of you know there's a site called twitter where people share their thoughts,activities etc...But nowadays it's getting a bit too literal...read this..

8.30 am-Eating breakfast
9.00 am-Breakfast finished
9.10 am-wearing a shirt
9.20 am-Wearing a a pant now

I dont think this is exactly what the creators of the site had in mind.....I guess we are lucky guys arent posting the color of their underwears yet....

2.I wish I was living in the wild west...you know..having a beer with Clint Eastwood or John Wayne....riding with Jimmy Stewart.. nobody to bother me...but noooo!!!I am here in the 21st century where some dude interrupts me while I am watching a most engaging scene in The Big Lebowski to complain and whine about how the girl who dumped him 3 years ago suddenly came to his thoughts now and is making him feel suicidal;...dude...you are making ME feel suicidal...I didn't dump you did I??then why inflict this punishment on me??By the way did it ever occur to you that she could have dumped you coz you are a pathetic loser??just a thought....

3.I seem to miss out on everything...I mean...when I was in school...they gave out those cool looking badges when we were in the last year....when I am in college our library becomes digital and talks of a canteen being opened surface when I am in the last semester of third year....Even when I used to ride buses they looked like someone had chewed 'em up and spit 'em out...but now since I have stopped riding them...they are all brand new and foreign looking...I bet if I leave Kolkata..It would become the next Las Vegas and y'all would own 3 casinos each....

4.Nowadays we hear a lot about how people hate Shiv Sena.....They are like the ultimate villains of the country....They are the hindi movies corrupt politicians we used to hate as kids...Now we are venting our anger against them for being insufferable pricks....I think those fellas are just angry....they need to relax...slow down a little...spend time with friends...laugh and joke...or else if they continue like this Sunny Deol and Mithun Chakravarty are gonna beat the shit outta them.....like they did in those movies....

5.This time of the year....there are a lot of weddings going on...and nice people who never harmed anyone in their lives,,,,get married because they have a whole lot of dreams..although I will be damned if I understand what's so dreamy about being a family man and having a hundred thousand respomsibilites??and spending your money on your kids...those nasty little brats...but do people EVER warn them during their weddings???NO!!!they laugh and stand and celebrate.-'HA HA...LET SOMEONE ELSE SUFFER TOO WHAT I AM SUFFERING'....the food's good though.....

6.Nowadays I hardly sleep before 4 am...even though I am really tired and havent slept all day....My mom said my biological clock has been altered....I hope it's not insomnia....then I would have to go to all those support groups and open a fight club,,,,and have an imaginary alter-ego who is gonna fuck me up bad....now is that a good thing or a bad thing?

7.Artists these days have such weirdass names..Lady Gaga..what the hell kind of a name is that???Sounds like some old duchess crossed with an african witch....and what's with this Gaga fan and taylor swift fans warring all the time...i mean..COME ON...both suck...you are now gonna argue about who sucks more???It's worse thah Shah Rukh and Aamir fans arguing about you who looks more gay..so that..you know..they can win the gay icon of the year award..which is the only one they havent won yet.....

8.The reality shows these days are so cheap and reflect the cultural degeneration of the nation in general....the girls look like bimbos...the guys like pornstars..with pumped up bodies...moan and bitch about each other all the time...I have tried to figure out what they actually need to do to win the,,..ah well..i guess whoever bitches the best wins...and what's surprising is they keep garnering such huge TRPs.....

well...those are about it...do share your views...you know..if you want to..

Respect

2010-02-01T19:52:00.004+05:30

I Never wanted you all to condone my actions
Never asked the other guy to follow my lead
Even if one day I am laid down in traction
I will never force you to support my deeds
Because I know I am not the greatest hero on earth
Won't be greeted with cheers as I walk down the ramp
Things have always been like this ever since rebirth
I have always been considered a no good tramp.
But I've never allowed opinions to slow me down
As I scourge everything and everyone in sight;
I've never thought about running from town
Because some people bark worse than they bite.
I made a lot of mistakes,I am human after all
Fucked things up badly quite a few times
But I never cut a deal,never played ball
I always...always tried to pay up for my crimes.
At the end of the day,I am just like you
Win some,lose some the rest are drawn
But hey perfect people are far and few
Well I guess we will be here even at dawn.
Looks like we are the only ones we have
So why dont we just try to get along?
Fuck it!That would make life boring
And I wont be able to write anymore songs
So you dont have to agree with me
And I dont have to pander to you.
We can be poles apart and still co-exist
Just show a li'l bit of respect for my views.
And that's all I have to say for now
Everything's happy and gay for now
Hope I've not bitten off more than I can chew,
Anyways,that's all!!Good Night and fuck you.

Just some respect...that's all I want...

Face to Face

2010-01-26T23:08:00.004+05:30

PROLOGUE
They put him in a 6 feet by 6 feet cell.It was good riddance they thought.He would now rot in there for all eternity.And they couldn't think of anyone who deserved it more.He was one of the worst criminals...and an even worse human being if that was possible.No one shed a drop when the judge announced the verdict of life sentence.No one deserved it more richly than him.

He sat in the court day after day and heard all the allegations they brought.He was an underworld gangster.He had killed hundreds of thousands of people.He had built an empire on all sorts of illegal businesses.Everyone testfied against him.All of his closest aides cut a deal with the police.They gave him up to save their asses.They hung him out in the open.

But he didnt speak a word.Didnt for even once open his mouth to refute any of the charges.His lawyers tried their hardest.But it really was an open and shut case.There never was a doubt from the beginning.

And thus they put him away.And everyone thought that was that.Justice was served.

1

It was a busy day in the News Kolkata office like usual.It was busier than usual.Because today was a huge day.News Kolkata has acquired the exclusive rights of an interview with former gangster and underworld don Viktor Fernandez.Six years ago Fernandez was convicted on 37 counts and sentenced to lifetime improsinment.And now News Kolkata had acquired the rights to an interview with the man who didn't defend himself during his trial.

The chief architect of this triumph was senior journalist Arjun Sengupta.Arjun has always had a great vision.He knew a great story when he saw it.And when he was covering Fernandez's trial six years earlier he thought what a great story it would be to bring out the personal life of the dreaded mafia.The man convicted of 77 known murders.And now after six years of fight he had been able to acquire the permissions from all concerned authorities for an interview with Viktor Fernandez.He had actually wanted the live interview to be telecast on News Kolkata's channel.But in the end he had to settle for an interview for the newspapers.Even that was quite an achievement Arjun thought as he boarded his car to set out for Alipore Jail.This was going to be his day,his moment.All great journalists have their defining stories...and this was gonna be his.

He had it all worked out.All the questions framed after much chopping and changing over six years.Yes he was going to be famous.As famous as he dreamt of being when he started this job.His rise in the profession has been meteoric.And this was going to seal that.

2
As he entered the cell Arjun felt kind of nervous.Seated in a chair was Viktor fernadez.His hands and feet were fettered,And there were 10 armed policeman standing around.What the hell,thought Arjun,he is a gangster not a fucking psycho.

'Gentlemen if you would be kind enough to step outside...then I can begin my interview...' said Arjun to the guards.

'Sir,we are here for your safety...he is one dangerous son of a bitch' said one of them.The others nodded in agreement.

'He is all tied up at the moment...stay outside fellas....I will give a shout if he tries anything..He isn't exactly Dr Hannibal Lecter is he' laughed Arjun.

'Who is this doctor?He is a gangster...Viktor Fernandez' declared one of the guards emphatically.

'It was a joke...never mind...just give me some privacy ok??I will be all right..'said Arjun.

The men hesitated for some time-then slowly filtered out.'Please close the door..I am not saying lock it..just pull it please' asked Arjun.

Finally everything was ready and he was sitting down in the most important assignment of his career.Face to face with one of the most dreaded criminals of the country,the Goanese Viktor Fernandez.

3
Viktor looked much thinner than when he was last seen during the trials.However aside from that and a patch of grey hairs on the sides of his face he looked no different.

Arjun spoke first-'I guess you are wondering who am I?Well I am a journalist....I believe your story need to be told to the world...During your trial you maintained silence...Now you should tell people your side-'

'Save the bullshit brother' cut him off Viktor....a faint smile on his face..'You dont give a shit about me pal...It's all about a story...you are gonna beat the shit out of your competition with this story...In my days,I had people in the press you know....I know all you fucking hypocrites down to your bone marrows'

The room was pin-drop silent for a couple of seconds.Then Arjun spoke again.

'Let's get down to the questions.Did you really do what you were accused of doing?' asked Arjun.

Viktor was looking at his feet.After a short pause he looked up at Arjun,a trace of the faintest smile his face-'Yes...and then some.'

'What led you into this...life of criminal activities??Some childhood trauma??Abusive parents??Bullied at school???WHAT???'Arjun was slowly getting into his stride.

'You know my background perfectly well.But still I will say this for the tape recorders.No...I did not have any troubles in my childhood...I did not face any abuse....I had a great family,the best education everything.'

'Wow...' said Arjun sarcastically 'You're really gonna get some sympathy you know that??Had everything...but no,it wasn't enough!!!NOT FOR YOU!!!You wanted more....no matter how many innocent lives you had to waste!!!'

'Innocent???Who is innocent???The people I killed were all drug dealers..or fucking pimps or rival gangsters....THE WORLD IS NO MORE POORER FOR THOSE BASTARDS!!!;' shouted Viktor.

'OH REALLY???REALLY MR FERNANDEZ???REALLY???AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE POOR BOYS...WHO FELL TO THE DRUGS....THE COCAINE,MORPHINE,HEROINE,THE FUCKING MARIJUANA THAT YOUR DRUG PEDDLERS SOLD TO THE KIDS???HOW ABOUT THEM MR SAINT?'Arjun screamed jumping on the balls of his feet.

'yeah I know.It's my fault.But what about the parents of those rich collge going brats???HUH???WHAT ABOUT THEIR INSTITUTIONS????DON'T THEY HAVE ANY DAMN RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING??'REMEMBER WE ONLY SELL THOSE BECAUSE PEOPLE BUY THOSE...IT'S CAUSE AND EFFECT...SUPPLY AND DEMAND MY FRIEND.'

'You have an answer for everything don't you??Nothing was your fault was it??you have NOT ONE morsel of remorse for your wrong doings!!!'declared Arjun emphatically.

'Do you have any regrets for your wrong doings??' demanded Viktor.

'Me?what have I done???When did I murder anyone???when did I kidnap people??'

'No you haven't murdered anyone.But you stick your goddamn mic in the face of the relatives of the victim.No you haven't kidnapped anyone.You have simply made them your news item.Isn't that correct??' Viktor was actually smiling.

'The duty of the media is to dig out the truth and report it to the people.That's what we do' said Arjun.

'No...that's not what you do...you show people things as YOU view them...NOT AS IT HAPPENED...YOU ARE AS GUILTY AS US.But you know what's the difference between you and me???You stand there smug in your imaginary world of importance.Not knowing that you are just a fucking medium.At least I was king for 15 minutes.I would rather be that and spend the rest of my life here in the jail than be like you.A SCHMUCK FOR A LIFETIME.'

'Why you two-bit punk-'Arjun lunged at Viktor.The guards burst in the room and dragged him out.

'What the fuck were you doing?Are you out of your mind?'asked the senior officer present.

'I was wrong about him.He really is Hannibal Lecter' replied Arjun breathing heavily.

'I dont know what the hell that means...but I know one thing-THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.Get your ass out of here' replied the Inspector.

Epilogue
As Arjun drove back towards his office he reflected on the day.The day he thought would make his career had gone astray.He had come out empty-handed.He didn't have enough substance for a story.But that wasn't bothering him...what was bothering him was Viktor's words.Was it true??Was he really a schmuck for a lifetime??Was he??

A Kolkata Tale

2010-01-20T16:44:00.003+05:30

Act 1
It was yet another Saraswati Puja.This day was always hard for him.Brought back a lot of painful memories.Since that year,every year he hopes the day would pass quickly and he would not notice it.But cruel as the days are they always took 24 hours to pass.Bringing back yet again those memories.They cut through his mind like broken shards of a mirror.
There wasn't any reason it would be any different this year.But what he hadn't anticipated was that this day could go worse.He was woken up by his phone vibrating loudly.He reached out from underneath his quilt and grabbed it-
'Yeah?'
'Wow up already you lazy bugger??I called you 5 times since the morning!!!'-said a voice he hadn't heard in 2 years.
'Aniket???" He asked his heart pounding.He was now wide awake.
'Oh so you remember??I feel really honoured man!!!You are such a big shot these days....I was afraid you wouldn't remember an old college friend' laughed Aniket from the other side.
'Wow!! I dont believe it dude...It's really you!!!!' he cried.
'Now now...don't wet yourself in excitement...so..you got any plans for today??' asked Aniket
'Well,I...' he was actually thinking of spending the day by himself...
'Ok Ok...I understand...I was thinking maybe we could go out...you know...go someplace...catch up on the old times...but if you are busy....' his voice trailed off.
'I dont believe you man...you call me up on the morning of a holiday to make plans....but hey,you know what...I am an impulsive guy...YOU'RE ON!!!!' .
'Now we're talking....meet you at Pacific Blue at 2 in the afternoon..cool?' asked Aniket.
'Cool....see you...bye for now'
'Yeah..bbye...'.

Act 2

He was standing inside one of the Pacific Blue bathrooms-trying to figure out how things got like him this afternoon.When he left his house today he had thought that this would be a quiet afternoon with his best friend in college..catching up on the old times.Maybe it would take his mind off the depressing memories associated with the day.But things haven't gone to his expectations and now he was stuck in this bathroom.

At exactly five minutes to 2 he had parked his car in the parking lot of Pacific Blue.When he entered,he saw Aniket was already there.He had thought that the place would be quite full with today being a festival but it wasnt.As he sat down he noticed Aniket looked the same as he looked in college.Aniket was a stud in those days.A handsome guy who used to make girls go weak in their knees.

'Let's order first shall we?' asked Aniket as he motioned a waiter to their table.

'Yeah ok,,,' he replied.

'I will have a Chicken Enchilada Casserole' said Aniket.

'Same for me too'

'So big guy,how is life?'asked Aniket.Aniket had this habit of calling him big guy because of his larger than normal stature.

'LIfe is fine...although pretty boring at the moment...how about you?'

'Hey...couldn't be better man.....I got a promotion at job....and there's this girl...man,is she is a kisser or what?'

'Still think you are a casanova eh??Give it up dude...the girls only feel pity on you...'

'Yeah well...jealous people tend to demean other's credentials...Hey Kabir!!!' Aniket suddenly shouted.

He turned his head towards where Aniket shouted and saw a suave-looking guy in tux and a girl beside him.His heart nearly stopped the next second as he realized it was Raya..Aniket didn't seem to be perturbed.He then realized Aniket didn't know Raya.He had heard about her but didn't know her.

The guy Kabir and Raya reached their table.Aniket began the introudctions-'Kabir this is Amit.Amit this is my colleague Kabir and his girlfriend Raya.'

Kabir smiled and extended his hand.Amit shook it.'Nice to meet you.'

Everyone smiled awkwardly for a moment.then Kabir spok-'Well...I guess we will be seeing you then...'

'Yeah...well...bye...'smiled Aniket.

As they moved away Amit and Aniket sat down.The waiter came and kept placed their food on the table.They started eating.But Amit was hardly in a mental state to eat.He never knew chicken enchilada casserole could feel so tasteless.He had then excused himself and came to the restroom.As he stood before the mirror all the memories came flooding back.

Act 3

Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of lonely street
at Heartbreak Hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

-Elvis Presley 'Heartbreak Hotel'

Amit and Raya has were first introduced by a common friend in their last year of high school.A month after that Amit had proposed and Raya said yes to him.After that their two-year long relationship saw some up and downs but it was in their second year in college on Saraswati Puja day that things finally broke down.

On that day Amit and Raya were supposed to go on an outing.But the previous day,the couple has had a huge fight and they weren't on speaking terms that day.Amit was pretty angry and had gone out with a group of friends.He had decided to let things cool down a little before talking to Raya again.

But fate had other plans for him.As he and his friends were sitting down for lunch in a South Kolkata restaraunt,one of his friends said-'Isn't that Raya?'

Amit quickly looked up and saw Raya sitting at a table some way in front with a boy whom Amit didn't know laughing and joking.

The blood rushed to Amit's head.He went to there table and shouted at her calling her a lot of foul names before storming out of there.He swore never to see her again.

But love is a very unpredictable emotion.When Raya called him in the evening he couldn't help receive the call.

'Congratulations' said Raya in an icy voice. 'I was having a huge guilt feeling for leaving you.But today you proved how right I am.'

'YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!'screamed Amit 'I LOVED YOU...AND YOU CHEATED ME YOU BLOODY --'

Raya cut him off-'And I loved you but you aren't worth it.You don't have any respect for anyone.You don't know how to behave with ladies.It's over.Goodbye'

And with that Raya cut the line.Amit sat there motionless for quite some time.

After that day 5 years had gone but the cupid did not visit Amit again.He felt he still hadn't let go of Raya.And today's chance encounter only accentuated this feeling..

Act 4

After 20 minutes he returned to his seat.

'Hey.you could have told me about your stomach infection.We could have ordered Crocin instead.' quipped Aniket.

'Maybe we could live without the wisecracks??and Crocin isn't for stomach problems you ignorant oaf' said Amit.

'Of course you would know a lot about that wouldn't you?' laughed Aniket.

'Let's get out of here' said Amit.

They left the restaraunt 5 minutes later.The encounter with Raya left him shook.But he trusted Aniket's quips and poor jokes to cheer him up.Maybe they could go to his home and chill over a pack of beers.What a depressing life it would be without friends.he thought.Maybe he should try socialising a little more instead of going into the shell.

The story might appear stupid to you.It may appear pointless to you.But this story does not try to tell an universal story for all ages.This is just another Kolkata tale.Nothing more.Nothing less.

Still...We Are Friends

2010-01-06T14:55:00.002+05:30

I might appear to you quite rude
Actually I am obsessed with solitude
People are complicated sensitive beings
If I talk,I might end up hurtin' feelings
And I can do without your tears
Making you cry-my biggest fear
You're not to blame-It's my fault
I am just an imbecile dimwitted dolt
That's why I stay away from you all
Dont respond to any of your calls
Make some excuse,get out of town
Am really tired of playing the clown

See I possess this 'Holier than thou' attitude
That justifiably pisses off all the other dudes
They make me out to be a villain
All bragging and talking,no feelings
I admit to all that.but please spare a minute
Lemme tell you my side of the story-what's in it.
See I am just a weary guy cynical of the world
Seen so much,I hardly feel twenty years old
But I dont want to keep wallowing in self -pity
After a time,I can tell you-this stuff ain't pretty
So what I do is keep trying to mask this all up.
Maybe be the centre of the storm in a tea-cup
That way I can come out,all my guns blazing
No tiredness,nothing-just acting plain crazy
But Nuff' said!!!II am tired of talking
The walls of nonchalance are cracking
Next time I see you maybe I will smile
Make small talk,like normal guys-keep a low proflie.
Maybe we will sit down have coffee and chat
You can tell me,how I have gotten grumpy and fat
And I will tell all the stupid poor jokes I know
Then talk about this and that,just go with the flow.

We laugh together,we cry together
Sometimes we fight,but we love each other.
That's why they say friends are forever.

Yep...I love you all...

2009:A mini recap from a narrow perspective

2009-12-28T11:53:00.003+05:30

Only a few days to go for this year to end.As 2009 enters it's last lap,let's do a recap of 2009-you know-how the year went and all that...I won't be covering all the events-Just those which appealed to me.

1.The King is Dead-An era in the history of world music ended this year as Michael Jackson,the enfant terible of world music passed away.Jackson left behind his fans,a music collection containing immortal classics and of course-The Moon Walk.His last days on earth were sad and lonely-hope he found peace at last.R.I.P Michael!!!

2.Nobel Man-The new American president Barack Obama won a Nobel Prize for peace.Whether it is deserved or undeserved is arguable.But it did provide Bloggers and the common man with a lot of wisecracks.The author feels that giving Obama the nobel for peace is taking it a little bit too far.

3.The fall and fall of Communism in Bengal-After ruling the state for more than 30 years,Communism seems to be on the wane as the Left Front lost in election after election this year.Besides elections they also lost important and veteran leaders which did not help their cause either.Whether they manage to remain in the government,time will tell.

4.A world of Recession-This year the world was hit by an economic recession which took it's toll on the entire world.People lost jobs everywhere,but mainly the capitalist countries took the biggest blow.Besides the engineering students.

5.KKR=Khan's Knight Riders-The second edition of the IPL took place in South Africa and the Knight Riders one of the most high-profile teams ended last due to some juvenile ego problems among the team's top brass.But they did knock out Rajasthan Royals.Damn,that felt good.

6.In a new Avatar-James Cameron challenged the way movies were made and came up with Avatar,an incredible visual experience.Adding Avatar to an already impressive resume containing The Terminator movies and The Titanic Cameron assured his status as one of the greats.

7.It's Real,Barca!!!-The Spanish football lovers had a wonderful time last year.One of their major clubs Real Madrid assembled a dream team which took the fans down the memory lane to the original Galacticos.While another of their big two-Barcelona won 6 trophies in one year.On a high,Espana!!!

8.It's in the blood?-Ranbir Kapoor became the latest superstar of Bollywood.Nowadays,all the lead stars of Bollywood barring a couple like Shah Rukh and John Abraham has had someone in the business before them.It's like a family business now.Maybe they should name them Familywood!!

9.The New Elvis?-Rapper Eminem broke his four year hiatus and returned to mainstream music with his latest album Relapse,adding fuel to the already raging debate if he is the Elvis Presley of rap.The author feels that Eminem has done enough to deserve this comparison.

10.And as for me-As far as I am concerned,I did Ok i guess.Could have done better,but hey!!I am not complaining.Have a Happy New Year everyone!!!

Special Mention:
Patrick Swazye,the American actor,passed away.
Robert Enke,the German goalkeeper,passed away.
Paul Samuelson,American Economist and nobel laureate.

Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars reducing the Academy Awards to a mockery.

These Days and I-Act 3

2009-12-23T13:11:00.002+05:30

Part 1

Dealing with your personal demons-
Have never been so difficult
Never been more easier.
Angry guy wannabe,everything's gone crazy
Backstreet Boys let it be-
fags like you shouldn't try this-
stick to songs about hugs and a kiss
No one will notice something's amiss
For God's sake!!that's what you call lyrics?
They don't hit me like a ton of bricks
Even Dylan's Christmas songs pack more force
But that doesn't bother all these media whores
Dunno what's up with me why so much anger
Dont remember since when I became a hate-monger
Infantile rhymes and juvenile rage
Write themselves and fly off the page

Part 2

Meanwhile pirates of Piratebay
Marooned as lawsuits skyrocket
Nineteen percent and rising inflation
Burns a hole in every pocket

All in all,these days and I
Everything's not all well
Maybe some day they'll ban this blog
Maybe I'll go to Jail

TIll then I will keep ranting
Setting aside all fear
For now though it's goodbye fellas
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Alphabet soup

2009-11-08T01:28:00.001+05:30

This post is intended to be my worst post ever.I am hoping your criticisms will make me give up writing for good.

A-Alphabet soup
B-Baghdad in a coup
C-Catalans in a mess
D-De Caprio craze
E-Empathize with me
F-Foreigners-soon-to-be
G-Gestapo on my back
H-Hiroshima got whacked
I-Indo-China ties
J-Jurassic Park fries
K-Katrina sizzles
L-Luca Toni fizzles
M-Messidona soars
N-Nightwing bores
O-Osama bites
P-Pentagon fights
Q-QT’s fiction
R-Real addiction
S-Superman flies
T-Trouble in paradise
U-Universal blues
V-Victorian hues
W-Washington might
X-Xenon burns bright
Y-Youngistan hurts
Z-Zero hour starts

This City

2009-11-02T21:47:00.004+05:30

If Monty Brogan from 25th hour would have lived in kolkata this is what he would have said-

"Fuck me..fuck this city-Fuck the biharis with their auto-rickshaws and three generations coming to our city in hordes and crowding it up,crossing streets like dickheads and when they get hit it’s the drivers fault.Fuck the Punjabis driving taxis and behaving oh so amiably with their parathas and chicken and beer watching sunny deol movies….GET SOME TASTE FOR GOD’S SAKE!!Fuck the South Indians with their curd rice and their goddamn tounge-twister of a language and idolizing Rajnikant...just acknowledge that hindi is the national language and Rajnikant is an old fat bum will ya????Fuck the Marwaris with their cashboxes and crores In banks and yet cringing when their employees demand a raise!!!Fuck their employees who go on strike at the drop of a hat claiming equality!!!Fuck the political parties who back them for cheap political mileage!!!!Fuck the Coffee House crowd with their intellectual discussions and big talks yet never doing except expressing sarcastically how everything is wrong with the city!!!Get a fucking job!!!Fuck the SC-ST crowd enjoying all the priveleges despite having all the advantages in life…You were oppressed 300 years ago!!!Move the fuck on!!!Fuck the Shopping mall hero-heroines with all their cooing and accented English!!! Get a hotel room…no one wants to see a porn movie!!!Fuck all the bangla bands guyw with long hair,a stubble and t-shirts with motherfucking jim morrison and bangla songs on their lips...GROW THE FUCK UP!!!Beatles never had to dress like this to sell their songs!!!Fuck the homosexuals now coming out of the closet since 377 is legal…Go open a gay bar and stop stalking normal people son of a bitches!!!Fuck the frustrated heterosexuals harassing our girlfriends and best friends….go die bastards!!!Fuck the Sector 5 people-self-proclaimed yuppies of Kolkata-Hrithik Roshan Saif Ali Khan wannabe motherfuckers!!!Fuck Tollywood and Prasenjit for destroying the name and reputation of our film industry!!!Go and die bitches!!!Fuck thepolitical parties and their battles…you guys are completely destroying our state…GO THE FUCK AWAY!!Fuck the village boys coming to Kolkata and booing every time a guy speaks to a girl…narrow mentality backward motherfuckers!!!Fuck the 9-5 employees satisfied with their fucked up lives and not prepared to do anything about it!!Fuck the high-society crowd spending 350 rupees on a single ticket for a bollywood movie…hello!!!We are going through recession remember!!!Fuck the pseudo football-maniacs shouting brazil argentina man u arsenal chelsea when they dont even know the name of the players....Fuck the CESC ….we have to spend hours without power because you sonofaguns cant do a fucking thing!!!Fuck the corrupt cops filing today’s complaint tomorrow and letting crime rates go up in the city…Fuck everyone from the posh Park Street Folks to the upstart Jodh pur park people!!From the intellectual nandan crowd to the uneducated bihari brotherhood…FUCK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING!!!

No Nightwing-Fuck you!!!

These days and I-Part II

2009-10-21T20:19:00.002+05:30

All characters in the following post are purely fictional.Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

Everywhere I look,the times are bad
Killing policemen is the new fad
In the neighbouring states,it was the new style-
Now in our backyard they open their file
And they say they fight for the greater good
Think themselves the modern robin hoods.
Well hurrah for robin you must be so proud
Stop killing innocents for crying out loud
And then there are so many other things on my mind
A moment of peace is so hard to find
Some dickheads at college are always on my back
They are always so ready to launch an attack
No matter how I try to ignore these punks
They are always all over me,acting like drunks
They tastelessly attack my school and my ways
This Is their idea of how best to spend days
I am tired of everyone trying to play judge
It’s as if all of these people hold a grudge
Against me,wonder how I became so hated
Maybe that’s destiny,maybe it was fated
I know I am not perfect,I doubt anyone is
But that’s no reason for you to say as you please
Great Expectations or Harsh times who can say?
So y’all can go to hell and have a nice day.

Tears

2009-10-19T21:12:00.003+05:30

They brought him home-
He looked like he was born in Rome;
His mother’s eyes filled with pride,
And tears too-a rare sight,
As she held her new-born boy.
His father beamed at his bundle of joy-
His voice felt choked,he said nothing
But his heart-oh,it wanted to sing
It was the happiest day of his life
He thanked God,and smiled at his wife
Their dreams had all come true at last
The tears were now a thing of the past

He came home
He now looked like the Prince of Rome
His ma’s features shone,as she saw her first-born
Her eyes showed her pride for the prodigal son.
His father smiled at how their son
Looked so handsome in his uniform.
His friends were stunned,one and all-
To see no tears at his funeral.

These days and I

2009-10-15T19:09:00.002+05:30

You wanna grow up sometime
You have to let it go
Leave the world of Dylan behind
Wild west,time does flow
Live in your times
Sing your songs
Don’t bother if it rhymes
Don’t bother if it’s wrong
Just try to put up a show

You wanna win someone over
You have to give something dear
Have to fight and bleed and fall
And have to lose your fear
Show some guts
Ask her out
No ifs and buts
Damn all doubts
Just try not to be a queer

Hey people.wanna hear a story?
It’s about alice and the hatter
He served her tea and cut her head
And then he put it on a platter
That’s how it happened
And not as they say
Everything’s not fine
Hide and pray
And hope you don’t meet Dr.Hannibal Lecter.

Gone are the days of jack and jill
Now is the time for a Righteous Kill
Can’t think straight would mean you are gay
Holla man you just made my day
Look into my eyes
What do you see?
Hate or love?
Or sympathy?
Nope it’s just indifference all the way.

The Healer

2009-10-09T19:41:00.001+05:30

She came to me in my dreams,
Like an angel,she had wings.
She smiled at me and waved her wand
And took me to a magic-land.

She knew my name,she knew my heart
She knew how it had been torn apart
She knew the wounds that scarred my mind.
She knew the past,I have left behind

She held my hand and spread her wings
She took me high where fairies sing
The songs that kings felt lucky to hear
Wiped my mind of sadness and fear.

Then all of a sudden she left my hand
Cindrella’s time was up for the night
I returned back to Reality Land
Ready once more to enter the fight.

Blah Blah Blah

2009-10-03T19:33:00.003+05:30

WHOA,WHOA,WHOA!!
Settle down everybody
You’re in for an angry ride.

Oh all of yeh can condemn me;
But I’ll keep calling what I see.
I am the big bad referee
Loathed by all,especially Harry
Harry??Harry who??who else,Harry potter!!!
That’s the shit you read,you nutters;
Harry keeps thinking I am Snape
Why Harry??see me wearing a big,ugly cape??
But if grandpa Aamir can play Hari
Why can’t Storm be Halle berry?
I’m hated everywhere for running my mouth
I don’t just talk fellas!!damn,I SHOUT!!!
So I raped poetry,just let me be;
I am just a wannabe,not P.B.Shelley;
But just take a second to listen to my chants;
You will see there’s a little meaning in my rants.
See,I am not asking you to join my clan-
But the president there thinks he is Superman
He talks about how he was born in Krypton
And now he thinks he is the next Abe Lincoln
But Superman never called anyone “jackass”
Even though the guy in q is completely crass.
Meanwhile,all over people are brave with a gun
Take ‘em away and it’s-“run Forrest run”
That’s the shit we’ve been reduced to
You’re probably thinking-‘so,what’s new?/
What’s new is Jesus ol’ man's coming back
2012 is the time of attack,
Or so danny boy would have us believe.
Wonder what by that time,we all could achieve;
Ahh,what the hell if the world’s gonna pop
Maybe all the fighting and bloodshed will stop.
So hey all ye morons,just take second to think
All that ye have now,may vapourize in a blink.
Maybe yeh should take it easy,you know-get high.
Figure it out-meanwhile-this is Anish saying bye.

No Tags Please

2009-10-02T20:04:00.005+05:30

Well,how do i begin?I have been thinking for sometime to broach a delicate issue,but just couldn't seem to find the right way to do it.So after thinking for a long time-(10 minutes is pretty long for me) I decided to take it head on.After all,what the heck,you people are my friends,so why be courteous and polite?

The thing is-about tagging.You see I don't like tags.Tag posts are extremely stupid and girly.It makes me feel like filling out a slambook.And boy,did i hate slambooks!!!I still do!!So basically my point is that tag posts are extremely corny and juvenile-like slambooks.It's just a personal opinion but there it is!!Did I say I dislike tag posts??I take it back...I LOATHE TAG POSTS!!They are generally extremely long,and they don't provide much entertainment to the reader as well.And I am not saying this just off-hand.Quite a few people told me that they positively dislike tag posts.

Another thing about tag posts is that they can ruin the mood of your blog-Take for example,my friend Atindriyo's blog "Barbaric,Mystical and Bored"-this blog is full of awesome poems(people do check out his blog-you will find the link in my blog's i follow list).So all of a sudden you throw in a stupid tag post-and the platform of romanticism and surrealistic nature of the blog completely crashes down.

However these are just my opinion.No offense to all those friends who tagged me.You guys are awesome...and you totally rock!!!But,do me a favour,no one please tag me in your posts from now on...I get sick of doing those long posts in which i find no interest in at all.And that's saying something coz if i don't get interest in something,chances are that nobody will.That's about it.Au Revoir.

P.S-Since the people who tagged me read the previous tag posts-I am deleting them coz I was nearly assaulted a little while back by two of my friends who read that post... :P

20TH OCTOBER 2017

2009-09-30T19:18:00.001+05:30

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen.I am your news host for now and let’s have a look at the top news stories today-

~Wipro has threatened to leave India after the Eden Gardens incident in which some angry tollygunge agragami supporters burnt down Eden Gardens after a cricket field brawl,ensuing from a dubious no-ball call,blew out of proportions.This is the third cricket-ground vandalism incident of the year.Although experts are at a loss how this would possibly effect wipro.I,my friends am at a loss thinking who these experts are.I saw a guy who used to pass the exams cheating in college being addressed as an expert

~After successfully having banned MTV,Channel V,Zoom,AXN,FTV among others the Shiv Sena party today urged the government to ban the sports channel Ten Sports as they felt the skirts worn by the female hockey players in hockey matches shown by the channel are indecent.On similar grounds they have also called for a ban on ESPN and Star Sports with respect to female tennis players.

~In a bid to cement their reputation as a secular party the Indian National Congress today passed a bill making Din-e-Elahi the national religion of Inida.
In related news ,members of the BJP today burned effigies of Superman and Batman showing their disapproval for what they term as the gay leanings of these American superheroes.A top BJP leader today stated that it was obvious that any male person who wore underwears on the outside was obviously gay.

Entertainement News:

~Sanjay Leela Bhansali today announced his next movie-Pink.Bhansali had previously made movies on six different colours most of which bombed-both commercially and critically.Undeterred,Bhansali is making his next movie which have a feministic theme and is about two college girls who will be played by Ranbir Kapoor and Aamir Khan.

~Himesh Reshammiya today quashed all rumours about dating Rakhi Sawant.In an impassioned statement the actor stated that his present situation was very frustrating but not even that frustrating.He also announced that he would be soon having a plastic surgery done and hopes to do a Michael Jackson.

~Meanwhile Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham-who now rival the popularity of the SRK-Kajol pair are returning together again for their next movie-Dostana-se thoda zyada-In this movie Abhishek and John play a happily married gay couple whose lives are rocked by the arrival of a sexy stranger played by Hrithik Roshan.This is the 7th time they play a gay couple.Their last film together was Paap Punyam in which they played a star-crossed couple during the vedic ages.

~Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today adopted their 32nd baby from a Chinese family.Pitt said that their aim was to reach 50 by 2020.
~In other news,Johnny Depp was arrested for the murder of 5 people in New York.Depp,known for his method acting,said he was preparing for his role as a serial killer in an upcoming movie.

Sports News:

~Sachin Tendulkar confirmed he will be playing for India in the next World Cup.

~Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger was sacked today after Arsenal’s 11th trophyless season.Wenger was almost immediately appointed the coach of the French national team.Wenger said it was like a homecoming for him.

~Cristiano Ronaldo today retired from football after 8 years with Real Madrid.When asked what were his plans for the future,Ronaldo replied that he was looking forward to opening a strip bar in his own house as he found it cumbersome to travel..

~The Sourav Ganguly coached Kolkata Knight Riders today suffered their 8th defeat of the season.Surprisingly all of these were by a single run.Owner Shah Rukh Khan said he had already sent an sms to each player to cheer them up.Cricket experts in Bengal however unanimously concurred that this was a clear conspiracy to end Sourav’s career as coach.

That’s the news from now.Thank you and good night.

Nice Guy

2009-09-28T11:55:00.001+05:30

The following post is a really personal one.I wrote it down sometime back when I was feeling quite depressed.I was hesitating whether or not to post this,but what the hell-here goes!!!

I have to be a nice guy,who never picks a fight.
Even if I am damn pissed off,I have to keep it quiet.
Everytime I see something happening that I feel is unfair.
I have to look the other way,’cause I’m not allowed to swear.
No-I am supposed to be this gentleman,the regular decent guy;
Who,even when in a fuckin’ mess,isn’t allowed to cry.
Oops did I say the f-word,I am sorry I apologise.
Believe me,that’s a slip of tongue I don’t have any vice.
But then you wonder,if that’s so what happened with those ladies?
Those two who left me and walked away like running from dead alleys
For s________, I wouldn’t care less for she wasn’t there for me,
But donna-i thought you loved me-how could you let this be?
You never really loved me,did ya,isn’t that just a shame?
I bet after a couple of years now,you can’t recall my name
But that’s ok,I got over you a long time back
Although for that affair,I took a lot of flak.
Half my friends didn’t like what became of me,
But that’s all behind now-this is Anish version 3.3.
Now I would never write emo songs,am not a glory-hunter
But sometimes I get the feeling,I am headed for disaster.
Every friend I’ve ever had,I feel I am destined to lose
When you think about it,ain’t that enough to blow your fuse?
But me,and the people I know,we are tougher than that
Some of us has seen tragedies that make these seem flat
I just hope the bashing and cursing and the mud-slinging would stop
I accept I am nothing but an useless psycho fop
But I don’t want to take this shit from you,hell no!!
Coz this is my life ‘welcome to The Anish Show’
Maybe the night will finally pass,and dawn will come one day
Birds singing and a breeze blowing and no one calling me gay
Till that day comes,for all of us,my friends just grit your teeth
Coz I know you guys ,my brotherhood,you can take this heat.

Stranger of the darkest nights

2009-09-24T21:23:00.002+05:30

My dreams and hopes are far and few
I never measure what I can do
My only hope is that someday
Meeting you my dream comes true

I never wanted much you know
I only wish to stop this ache
O stranger of the darkest nights
Who art thou who keeps me ‘wake?

Oft I feel that I am jinxed
A curse to bear till end of time
Does this phantom have no cure?
Am I to live in rage and fear?

But then I remember all those times
When I was bruised and all alone
From the shadows,Oh my angel
You mended me and took me home

Perhaps you and I have met
In some destined turn of fate
Maybe you are by my side
Laughing at my sorry plight

Are you the great mighty God?
Who makes things move with just a thought
Or are you Lucifer from the hell?
All over men,who casts a spell.

May be its better the mystery stays
Till I sleep my final sleep
I am your soldier in all fights.
O warrior of the darkest nights.

The Last Period

2009-09-21T20:55:00.001+05:30

I was going through a diary which I used to write in when I was in 12.I found this-I am posting this here…it’s not very good,but hey!!when is it ever??

The last period is going on.

The drone of the teacher’s voice

Is threatening to put me to sleep.

Keeping my eyes open is slowly

Becoming a Herculean task.

But there is a problem-

If I close my eyes and fall to sleep

The teacher might catch me

And throw me out of the class’(Embarrassing that!!)

Or no one may notice me

And go away leaving me

Locked in this classroom(Scary that!!)

So my friends-

No matter what happens you see

I have to keep my eyes open.

Ramblings of a wasted morning

2009-09-08T17:05:00.000+05:30

Its been raining incessantly from the morning.Usually on days like this I would be fighting my way through a crowded office-time bus,half-drenched,cursing below my breath while trying to reach that fiasco of an institution(is that even proper English?) I have come to call my college over the past three years.But since our good-for-nothing departmental football team miraculously qualified for the quarter-finals we-those sane people who didn’t find going to play football to the other end of city and getting drenched in the rain for 5 hours a very attractive prospect-got an unexpected holiday.
Its holidays like these that really bother me.Now,I don’t know if you know this,but I consider myself to be a very active and energetic person.When I have holidays I plan for them 10 days beforehand and I follow my routine of watching movies,reading comics or winning gang wars in computer games very strictly.So when the routine gets upset,so do I.But being a very persistent fellow,I decided not to waste the day,but use it for doing some constructive work.
The first thing that I thought of doing was studying and completing the syllabus for my forth-coming internals.On days like this when I feel like studying,I am a difficult guy to control.I started thinking.Maybe if I started studying now and study 8-9 hours straight I might get the syllabus for at least 3 subjects completed.I envisioned my mother urging me to stop studying and have dinner.”You have studied a lot” she is saying “I wont let you study anymore.You will become sick.Come and have some food.Watch a movie”;but I tell her “No ma,I gotta finish this right now;this is the only aim in my life;let me pursue this obsession of mine”.See this is how enthusiastic I get.But I have tremendous control over myself.And I exercise that control to keep myself away from books.See I have to do all these to protect my reputation.Because I firmly believe that the most valuable possession of a man is his reputation.Actually those were Shakespeare’s words (in whatever freaky old English he wrote,bless his soul).But he died about 400-500 years ago so I don’t think he would mind too much.
So anyways,I lost a lot of time in visualizing all this.”Damn” I thought irritably “There goes a perfectly usable half an hour.Totally wasted.I better begin watching a movie or something.”But it’s easier said than done.I began watching The Deer Hunter which I have heard was a classic.Moreover it starred Robert De Niro who is my favourite actor.A classic with your favourite actor.What could go wrong I ask myself?And I begin watching the movie.I wont go into the details because I myself do not like blabbering too much.There are a lot of people who keep talking even when it is perfectly clear that no one is interested in listening to them.I am the quiet type.When I speak it is to the point and witty.It’s my intellectual nature.I cant help it.
So anyways,to cut a short story long,firstly the sound of the movie was very soft.Yes it was audible enough,but not audible enough to distinguish the dialogues spoken in an American accent.Not one to give up though,I downloaded the subtitles and began watching the movie.However even here fate was against me.The subtitles were out of sync with the movie.Now I am not a guy to complain quickly but this was even too much for me.The subtitles appeared half-a-second earlier than the dialogues were spoken.That’s the quality of work done these days.Whatever happened to good decent men like myself?
Anyways by now it was time for me to take a shower and have my lunch.The morning was wasted.I cursed those confounded sociapaths and homophobs for qualifying for the quarters without informing me at least 5 days in advance.No sense of responsibility I think to myself.They made a nice hard-working lad like meself,idle away the entire morning.This is how the work culture of our country has detoriated.Honest boys led astray due to no fault of their own.I hope that I wont go down that road.I know you have enjoyed this account a lot but I am going to have to ask to take leave of you.HEY!this is free.How much more do you want??And really!!You don’t have to thank me for doing this…it was no trouble at all.

Heroes

2009-08-28T22:21:00.000+05:30

Your heroes are perfect beings.
My heroes are non-living things.
Your heroes crack witty jokes.
My heroes are planning a hoax
Your heroes are hip and happening
My heroes are totally boring
Your heroes are smooth-talking SOBs
My heroes are street-smart hippies
Your heroes are loved by one and all
My heroes are the ones who take the fall
Your heroes always get a standing ovation
My heroes are hated all over the nation
Your heroes are very magnanimous
My heroes are downright infamous
Your heroes always have a pretty princess
My heroes hit girls without any distress
Your heroes fight the good fight
My heroes believe “might is right”
But in the end-
Yes,in the end-
Your heroes are god-like kings
My heroes are real human beings

Just for something's sake

2009-08-27T01:03:00.000+05:30

Well hello people;long time no post.So I thought I would post something just for the sake of posting something.Here goes:

1.Kolkata-the city of joy?More like the city of broken dreams.

2.3 A.M. in the morning is very beautiful.And……you have insomnia.

3.People just need an excuse to make friends.Or quarrel in a crowded bus.

4.People are damn irritating.This statement isn’t a judgement.Its an universal truth.

5.if people stopped arguing for sometime,the earth would be soooooooo peaceful.And soooooooooooo bloody boring.

6. Michael Corleone is the hero of millions all over the world.He is also a fictional character.

7.There’s two ways to get people to do some work for you.One is pay them.Another is double-dare them.

8.Fortune favours the brave.And the beginner,just to make his teacher look foolish.And also the fools because they are the only ones to stupid enough to be brave.

9.Did I mention people are irritating?And also hypocritic,obnoxious and mean as hell.Like me.

10.I am tired.Good night.Have a nice day....or night...whatever...

No One But Me

2009-08-16T10:48:00.000+05:30

There’s no one but me,there’s no one but me.
It’s 11.30 at night and the streets are empty.
I am stranded alone in this godforsaken city.
There’s no one here except good ol’ me.

Looks like this city died quite sometime back
Everything here though has been left intact.
Down the road,I even found a familiar Big Mac
The houses are all red and the streets are all black.

I find myself wondering how this city died.
Maybe a disease that no one survived.
Or perhaps a nuclear bomb cast it aside
Wonder how I ended up on this city’s inside

But then I stopped wondering where everyone had gone
As It hit me like bricks on my head.
Something that I should have long ago known.
It was not the city it was me who was dead

Elixir of life

2009-08-11T18:13:00.000+05:30

The things that make life worth living for useless tramps like myself:
1.4.30 p.m.-that’s when my college ends.

2.ESPN-STAR SPORTS-TEN SPORTS-many people would be devastated if these channels went off air….the sale of anti depressants would shoot up.After all this is where boys find solace from their hitleristic bosses, loathsome jobs, outrageous bills and whining girlfriends.

3.The roadside stalls around the city-Some people (read my mother) say we eat to live not live to eat..yeah sure….as long there is food in front of me anyone can say anything to me.And these are the places which provide plenty of cheap food.

4.Dil se-This show on red fm from 10 p.m.-3 a.m. every Friday has been an old friend.Many a times over the years I have fallen asleep listening to this.Some things stay the same and remind you of your childhood.

5.Adda-The once in a while evening hanging out with friends….and chatting..thats really one of the things that keep us going.Even the biggest of pjs make you laugh then,and you feel grateful to have these friends,

6.Vacation after exams-These excite us so much,that many of us start planning a lot of things to do during this time even before the exams begin.But the vacations make the tedious examinations a little bearable.

7-Computer games-Yeah ok so I am fat and I can’t participate in physical sports.Big deal.I still kill 50-60 terrorists every evening and score 5 goals in one match.Go chew on that!!!

8-Weekends-Phewwwww!!!Some rest from writing those lab reports and finishing those assignments for tomorrow.Ah,to be able to comfortably sit and watch a movie!!!that reminds me-

9,Movies-If you haven’t seen movies you are missing something big.From The Godfather of the past to The Hangover of the present movies really can liven your mood up.

10.And finally-last but never the least-Hope-The hope that tomorrow will be a better terrorism free,reservation free,swine flu free,tax free world is one thing that keeps you going.Even when all the odds are stacked against you,hope is one thing that makes life worth living.

Public Enemies Review

2009-08-07T16:03:00.001+05:30

From the time I heard Public Enemies the new Michael Mann movie was starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale I knew this was going to be huge.I mean here we have two of the biggest cult actors in Hollywood.Depp mainly known for his Captain Jack Sparrow has been given some superb performances( Charlie and the Chocolate factory,Sleepy Hollow,Donnie Brasco) over the years.Christian Bale who became famous as the billionaire playboy crimefighter Bruce Wayne has also some acclaimed performances under his belt.(American Psycho,The Machinist,The Prestige).With these two actors of tremendous potential you have Michael Mann as director who has given some highly enthralling movies like Heat,The Insider,Collateral in the past.So with names such as these associated with Public Enemies expectations were always bound to be sky-high.I know you are thinking that the next sentence will be “But unfortunately the film fails to live up to the expectations.”You are right.It does fail.
Public Enemies is set during the Great Depression.it focuses on the true story of FBI agent Melvin Purvis's attempt to stop criminals John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson, and Pretty Boy Floyd.I will not reveal the plot so as not to give away the story but just say this-There was every element in the story for this to be a great movie.It has a lot of similarities with one of Mann’s previous works Heat where Pacino and De Niro play the two men on two sides of law.That movie was superb.Where then does this movie fail?
1)The Dialogues-The dialogues are smart,crisp but nothing earth-shattering.Specially the scene between Bale and Depp.That scene required much more dialogues.And the ones used were frankly not good enough.The scene in Heat between De Niro and Pacino had some awesome dialogues.
2)The speed-The speed of the movie never really picked up.Even the actions scenes are not anything awesome,which is to be expected since this is set in 1933.In Heat the break-neck speed was a key factor contributing to the success of the movie.
3)Character Development-I felt both Dillinger and Purvis’s characters were sketchy and under-developed.Especially Melvin Purvis.When you make a movie about two real men a little character development is expected at least.
4)Not much scope for actors to strut their stuff.Johnny Depp is good as Dillinger and he does his best to churn out another noteworthy performance in a limited script.Christian Bale is under-used in the movie.He does what he has been asked to do quite well.But when you have two actors of the calibre of Depp and Bale you have got to use them better.
5)The Ending-I wont reveal the ending here,but I sort of found it a little lame.
When in a cops and robbers movie you cant get the audience to root for either the cop or the robber there is something wrong in the movie.Does it mean that Public Enemies is a bad movie?Not at all.It’s definitely worth a watch.It’s got all the facts correct.And it does display the Dillinger episode accurately.But it could have been a lot better if Mann would have taken some creative liberties.The element of drama is completely absent in the movie.
P.S- Johnny Depp really struggles in the romantic scenes.

Dreams

2009-07-29T18:26:00.000+05:30

His legs feel like jelly
Knees buckling,standing seems a huge task at present.
A funny feeling in his stomach,
The pancakes at breakfast seem to have come alive
He can hear his heart
It might just burst out of his chest.
The curtains go up
He feels like someone poured cement on his head.
He brings the mic close to his face
Tries to remember what he wrote down
“Opens his mouth but the words just won’t come out”
Perspiring like a criminal taking a polygraph test.
The crowd is getting impatient
His opponent’s arrogant smirk sapping the last of his self-belief.
He begins his first line but the crowd is booing
They don’t wanna hear,they just wanna heckle him
He wishes a lightning from heaven would strike him
He throws down the mic and rushes out of the stage
His dreams burnt to ashes
His months and years of preparation wasted
In a few seconds
And he knows the chance won’t come again.

Epilogue:
He enters his room
Everything is just the same
Smell of dinner coming from kitchen
Brother and sister fighting over tv again
He opens a drawer
Finds what he was looking for
Smiles for the first time in the day;
Then points it to his temple and shoots himself.
As the blood around his lifeless body
Forms different ingenious patterns
Everything else still remains the same.
Except for a man and his boyhood dream.

Plagiarism In Bollywood

2009-07-23T21:19:00.001+05:30

Well I was getting bored sitting idly doing nothing.So I decided to make a list of Bollywood movies that copied from hollywood movies just to pass time.This is what I got.I am still reeling,

hum tum--- when harry met sally

sarkar--- the godfather(how dare to compare marlon brando and al pacino with the bacchans)

hey babyy-- 3 men and a little lady

partner-- hitch

kyon ki..---- one flew over the cuckoo's nest

chak de india-- a league of their own/miracle

ek ajnabee-- man on fire (fully copied)

kayamat-- the rock

dhoom-- fast and furious,ocean's 11

speed-- cellular

murder-- unfaithful

the train-- derailed

akele hum akele tum---kramer vs kramer

maan---an affair to remember

chori chori chupke chupke-- pretty woman

meri yaar ki shaadi hain-- my best frnds wedding

ghajini-Memento

Zinda-Oldboy

Kaante-Reservoir Dogs

Mujhse shadi karogi-meet the parents and anger management

Chocolate-the usual suspects

Musafir- U-turn

Yuvraaj-Amadeus

Dhamaal-Rat Racxe/Johnny English/Road Trip

God tussi great ho-Bruce almighty

Kyunki main jhoot nehi bolta-Liar Liar

Aitraaz – Disclosure

Baadshah - Nick of Time, Teen Agent, Rush Hour

Baazigar - A Kiss From Dying

Black - The Miracle Worker

Chachi 420 - Mrs. Doubtfire

Dostana - I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

Judwaa - Twin Dragons

Koi Mil Gaya - E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Munna Bhai MBBS - Patch Adams

Raaz - What Lies Beneath

Zeher - Out of Time

Agneepath-scarface

Dil hai ki manta nahin-it happened one night

Jo jeeta wohi sikander-breaking away

Chamatkar-blackbeard’s ghost

Rangeela- Win a Date with Tadf Hamilton

Ghulam-on the waterfront

Sangharsh-silence of the lambs

Dhai akshar prem ke-walking in the clouds

Kahin pyar na ho jaaye-the wedding singer

Humraaz-a perfect murder

Kuchh to hai-I know what you did last summer

Bunty aur babli-bonnie and clyde

Deewane huye pagal-there’s something about mary

Rang de basanti-all my sons /jesus montreal

I see you-just like heaven

The killer-collateral

Krissh-paycheck

Nishabd-lolita

Bheja fry-diner de cons

Salaam-e-ishq-love actually

U me aur hum-the notebook

Race-goodbye lover

Shaurya-a few good men

Dasvidaniya-Bucket list

That covers a lot.I cant go any longer.Next I heard they are making a remake of the prestige,and a remake of forrest gump.If the actor with the maximum number of plagiarised movies in the list is Aamir Khan considered Indiawide as one of the greatest actors of the country,you know there is a big problem with creativity.Respect originality.Not some rip-off.For these movies are nothing more than that.Gotcha!!

Nightmares

2009-07-19T02:16:00.000+05:30

Hang on,hang on boy
I cant seem to hang on
My grip seems to be loosening
My muscles are on fire
Screaming to me to give in
Would be so easy to give in
Let go of everything
Oh Blissful Oblivion
Rest me in your lap
I am tired and want to sleep
The night is peaceful
Suddenly a demon appears
His face is a silhouette
His voice is hoarse
“Don’t give up” he screams
His voice cuts like a knife
Brings me back
From my peaceful utopia
Back to this wasteland
Of shattered dreams
I tried to pretend
That the dreams were true
The utopia was real
But now I know better
The dreams are beautiful
They soothe the night
But they are not mine
The nightmares hurt
But they are my real friends
They help me remember
The mistakes I made.

An Idle Brain

2009-07-11T23:47:00.000+05:30

Just passing time having nothing else to do-
1.People call me a schizophreniac.So that they can send me to an asylum and usurp my billion dollar fortune.
2.Crime never pays-But crime movies make a helluva lot of money.
3.Perseverence pays…..by the time you reach 65!!!
4.Honesty is the best policy…..And I am King Henry VIII...
5.Homosexuality is God’s strategy to counter excess population.
6.Q-”What’s in a name?”-Shakespeare.
A-You would understand if you lived in the 21st century Kolkata and your name was Nemai Chandra Bhadro.
7. NO ONE understands modern art.
8.EVERY ONE understands modern art.
9.People are narcissistic by default.
10.No matter what,in 100 years you will be dead.

The Straight Edge Movement

2009-07-04T13:55:00.000+05:30

Straight Edge refers to a lifestyle and youth movement that started within the hardcore punk subculture whose adherents make a lifetime commitment to refrain from drinking alcohol, using tobacco products, and taking recreational drugs. The term was coined by the 1980s hardcore punk band Minor Threat in the song "Straight Edge".-Wikipedia

Among the youth of today there is a tendency to indulge in smoking,drinking and taking recreational drugs to be considered “cool”.There is also a misconception that most music bands indulge in these activities.You can say it has become almost fashionable to do these things.But what I would like to say here is that these concepts are absolutely wrong.There is no relation absolutely between music and these degrading habits.The greatest musician in India at present is undoubtedly A.R.Rahman.Does he need to smoke crack to come up with evergreen tunes???NO!!!!The straight edge movement was started by the fans of hardcore punk who believed in this truth.But you don’t have to be a straight edge fan to see how right they are.

Some people indulge in these habits to prove that they are THE men.But real men will never give in to these addictions.Men and women of integrity and character stays away from this.Only people who are mentally very weak and don’t have any willpower give in to such temptations.These habits have wrecked havoc on our society for a long time.Many bright futures have been lost to these filthy habits.Many promising careers have been cut short.And yet people keep surrendering to these filthy habits.And brag about it proudly.These people are the ones who are not only digging their own graves,but they take others down this path with them too.

Then there are other types of people who indulge in these habits to forget their pain.These people are even bigger fuck-ups.They would wallow in self-pity hour after hour rather than doing something constructive.If you have pain,face it.Don’t try to forget it like a coward.Face it and get over it.

I KNOW THIS POST MIGHT ANTAGONIZE MANY OF MY FRIENDS.BUT I BELIEVE IN WHAT I HAVE SAID HERE.AND I STAND BY IT.

Even though I am not a fan of hardcore punk,Yet I will join the straight-edge movement.Join it.Prove to yourself that you are strong.Stay away from these destructive habits.Enjoy life.Live life.

Shiney-Villain or Victim?

2009-06-24T22:27:00.000+05:30

Okk,through the media everyone knows about the now famous Shiney Ahuja case.He sexually assaulted his maid servant,broke down during interrogation and confessed…blah blah blah…the usual 9 yards.And one of my friends(who is a bit of a-well actually a lot of a feminist at heart) feels that its very wrong that he is still alive.That he should have been dead by now.How dare they continue to let him breathe when he has done such a heinous job and ruined an innocent girl’s life?The following is my opinion on the matter.
Ever since I attained some maturity I have seen that in our country women and girls are given preference to boys.A girl’s statement holds more value than a boy’s.That’s the way it is.If a girl shouts in the middle of the road-this boy is molesting me-the boy gets a sound beating before he can even say anything.In one stroke of accusation,a person’s good reputation built up over a long period of time can be destroyed.In Shiney Ahuja’s case I would like to bring up the following points-
1.Shiney Ahuja has been testified by all his friends and family to be a nice guy..not at all like you find in the film industry.And a nice guy does not act like this.So why should Shiney?
2.If he is not a nice guy and has fooled his friends all along,it means whatever he may be,he ain’t stupid.He knows what will happen if he does this.So even if he raped her wouldn’t he want to silence her forever?
3.Another question I would like to ask is why would a man with a wife want to rape some-one??That too some-one who isn’t exactly a Katrina kaif?
4.Shiney’s family denied that he admitted to rape.
5.Suppose the maid servant consented to sex at that time…then tried to blackmail him…and when he refused…she went to the police to discredit him…isn’t it possible??
I don’t know if he is guilty or not.MIND YOU,IF HE IS,HE SHOULD BE HANDED CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.PEOPLE WHO COMMIT THESE CRIMES SHOULD BE BURNT DOWN ALIVE…BUT IF AIN’T GUILTY…HE SHOULD GET A PROPER HEARING.The laws in our country are heavily loaded in the favour of women.This needs to be amended.And people shouldn’t come to conclusions sitting so far away.That’s all I am saying.

Shut up please!!

2009-06-18T18:02:00.000+05:30

Hello ladies and gentlemen,boys and girls,brothers and sisters,straights and gays,conservatives and liberals.This is the list of people who I think talk too much shit and need to shut up immediately.

2.Mamata Banerjee-Look,I am not interested in knowing if there is a conspiracy by the Russian and Chinese brothers of the left government here to take over west Bengal.I don’t even want to know if the left are behind each and every bad thing to ever happen in this state,ok?All I know is that I badly need to sleep.I haven’t slept well for quite some time and I am extremely fatigued.SO TURN THAT DAMN LOUDSPEAKER OFF!!!AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!

3.Ramgopal Verma-Yeah,yeah,yeah.We have heard all of your blabbering before Ramu!!You said that Aag will make us forget Sholay….yeah,well it did…but not in the way we hoped!!So here’s a piece of advice-go home,think for a while and don’t come back until something good hits you…not Aag-good…satya-good or sarkar-good…ok??

4.Paris Hilton-This girl once said London is the capital of USA.Ok..i have seen dumb…AND I have seen DUMB…but that takes the cake..

5.Kareena Kapoor-Hi Kareena!!Well you see,in case you don’t remember,Jab We Met was a looooooooooooooong time ago…so stop saying Shahid is gonna use your name for promotion of his movie-and for god’s sake…get that dumb grin off your face,I throw the remote again at the TV,and my dad is gonna kill me.

6.British Media-Okay,first you made a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig deal of your football team….then of your cricket team….Well newsflash for you guys!!!The last time you won anything worth mentioning was 1966…so why don’t you win something and then go blah blah blah???And lay off the Aussies…at least they win…

7.Baba Ramdev-Look mister,nothing personal…but if I were you,I wouldn’t come on tv and give advice…instead of healing people you are making people like me sick…and violent,for that matter.Advice for you-Open a chamber and start a practice.By the way,your physique doesn’t give a very advertisement for your methods.

8.Rakhi Sawant-YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!NO ADVICE NOTHING!!!JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

9.Aamir Khan-Will the real Aamir Khan please stand up?And not the one who thinks he is an intellectual actor and comes up with crappy movies like ghajini and takes potshots of SRK all the time??aah…what the hell…both are equally bad!!

10.Himesh Reshammiya-I don’t know if I got my spelling right…and I am not too bothered to tell the truth.All I want to say is you are not half as bad a music director as you are a singer…I developed an allergy to tandoori after that song of yours….so please,stay away from the mike…and more importantly,stay out of the camera’s field…please!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddd now-The No.1 yap-yapper who really needs to zip it-

1.Anish Dutta-This good for nothing punk really needs to shut up.Anish,mate my advice to you is remember-A dumb man has no enemies.So put a lid on it.No-one’s interested in your views ok??Spare me the grief!!

Double Act

2009-06-12T22:19:00.000+05:30

It struck me just a couple of days ago.I was watching the French Open with a friend.Roger Federer was making history.He became the greatest ever tennis player.While the presentation was going on my friend remarked-“Poor Rafael Nadal…if he was born in another generation then maybe he would have been the best of his time.Too bad he had to battle with Federer.”This set me thinking-Is that really true??What if Nadal would have been born in another generation?But before you think this is one long boring article about tennis,let me assure you it is not.My point is the presence of double-acts(if I can take the liberty to call them so) present in all fields all throughout the world.

How is it that every time someone almost invincible appears to have become the master of the field someone dares to challenge him?Someone who could logically never match them…how is it that these people always pose a threat to the champions…and sometimes even ace them.If you look at history you will see that when Akbar seemed to have gained huge power,there was one man,whose might was nothing compared to him.He was known as Rana Pratap.And yet,despite there being such a huge difference in their powers,Rana Pratap was always a thorn in Akbar’s side.Then there was Shivaji during Aurungzeb’s reign.This time the champion was even more powerful and the challenger even less so.Yet look at what Shivaji attained.No I am not writing this coloumn to glorify our national heroes.If we consider movies,there will be always be a debate between who is the best-Al Pacino or Robert di Nero-Two of the greatest actors ever..and they had to be contemporaries???If you move to cricket you will see the same thing-Sachin Tendulkar had a Brian Lara,Alan Border had a Sunil Gavaskar.

Maybe it is how God plans it.So that no-one can have it easy.And everyone has to earn it.For without Nadal,can Federer truly be the greatest ever?Can Batman be a legend if there was no joker??These guys are intense rivals,and enemies at times-But they have to have each other.That’s what motivates them to give their best,raise the bar-higher and even higher.May these double acts continue to flourish.For without them,life would become extremely boring and predictable.

Random thoughts on way to college

2009-05-27T20:17:00.000+05:30

All right,exams coming up…what am I gonna do…cant get in even one hour every day….why is that guy blowing the horn so many times…cant he see the traffic jam???What’s his problem?Oh god,this is really crazy…the exam begins in 10 minutes and I am still in ballygunge….man,I feel so sleepy…should stop watching movies till such late night….if I am awake,I gotta study….i wonder if the internet will be up and working by the time I get back….people blocking the road….damn,it had to be today of all days…but 48 hours without electricity…these people ought to be damn angry…seems like they are….there,had to get down and now….walkie,walkie,walkie……la la….when the music stops….la la…damn it!!that song’s been playing in my head all morning….how the hell am I supposed to remember the circuits,if there are so many distractions???one missed call??must have missed it because of all the noise….rony??why would he call me???oh I almost forgot…today is man u’s match with barca…and he wants to brag…barca…that reminds me…nearly forgot…I gotta return supratim’s copy tomorrow…or he’s gonna kill me….DAMN IT!!!how’s a guy supposed to walk with all these puddles around???Bloody KMC…don’t do any work and expect to get votes….nearly twisted my ankle there…whoa!!check her out!!!too bad she’s with a boy…all the girls seem to be taken these days….hey,I could have sworn she was looking at me….man,am I cool or am I COOL??yeah yeah…keep dreaming Anish baby….no harm in dreaming….HEY!!watch it you sonova-…..you nearly drove into me…bloody punks…thinks their father owns the road…man my legs are starting to cramp from all the walking…..lactic acid…I read that in class 8 and still remember….man…such a sweet studious boy I used to be in those days…and now look at me…I need to study…from tomorrow definitely….and from the next sem….i will study from the beginning and…aww…who am I kidding??i know what I will do next sem….doing what I was doing this sem….an sms??who can…WHAT THE FUCK???now rony tells me that the exam has been postponed…ha ha…I walked for like 4 kms…..ha ha ….man I think I am going crazy…..ha ha….

Dont give a fuck!!

2009-05-22T11:33:00.000+05:30

All right…here goes….my attempt at being Eminem…ha ha

Slim Shady..dont kill me…I was just trying to be “inspired”…believe me…

They say that too much of a good thing is bad,whoever they are…

Well fuck them!!what do they know??get’em out of here…

I say I’ve had enough…enough with this useless life….

Lets finish this forever…lets end this futile strife…

“But anish!what are you saying??you’re gonna commit suicide?”

Big deal…its better to end it here…than to spend the rest of the days trying to hide…

Some sonofabitch screwed me out of my livelihood

“well fuck you man!!go and show him this attitude!!

Don’t take your frustration out on others,anish,you piece of crap

You’re so lost in life that you cant find your way even with a map!!”

Ok..i’ve heard enough…I am gonna shut your mouth for good….

You smug little bastard…you think you’re cool singing “hey jude”?

Yeah well,Paul McCartney and John Lennon..they didn’t have to deal with this shit!!

Take that you gutless swine…I am gonna turn on the heat!!

See how it feels…how it hurts…when I beat the crap outta you…

You’ve given me enough problems…my turn now to give you a few…

“You think you’re a big guy now??beating down a helpless guy??

Well fuck you faggot!!!now you’ve done it!!you’ve given me a swollen eye!!

You and me…we are finished….you can wallow in your mess as long as you like…

Me….I am the heartbreak kid…rapping away with LP’s Mike….”

And that’s how he left me…my conscience…may he burn in hell…that fucking jerk….

And “they” can say what they like…it’s their nature…dogs will bark….

Angrier Than Thou

2009-05-13T13:59:00.000+05:30

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.I am Anish Dutta and I will be here commentator today for the anger competition.Today is Election day.clap clap clap!!What a beautiful day for getting angry!!Today all of us have the license to be as much angry as we like.

The following is the list of 10 people who have reasons to be angry or are always angry:

2.SHAH RUKH KHAN-Well,during December he watched helplessly as Aamir Khan stole his thunder (and his limelight) when Aamir’s Ghajini routed his movie Rab ne.Things have been going from bad to worse for him since then as his home production Billu Barbar failed miserably….and then his team KKR(they said they have removed Kolkata from the name…so now I think it stands for Khan Knight Riders) got crushed match after match.So the number 10 spot goes to our very own King Khan for having many reasons to get angry.

3.Christian Bale-This guy is un-fucking-believable.After fucking getting into a load of fucking trouble for fucking beating up his mom,this guy went batshit crazy (pun intended) on the fucking sets of T4 and used the fucking f-word 37 fucking times in 4 fucking minutes.Looks like this guy always finds a fucking reason to lose his cool.He is at number 4.

4.The people of West Bengal-People are either angry for the loss of the Nano,or they are angry for the fiasco in Nandigram.They are also angry at Dada losing captaincy and for KKR losing in the IPL.They are also angry because of job-cuts,power-cuts,increasing rates of hair-cuts.Or they are just angry anyways.

5.Wolverine-He was hoping compete with Batman in term’s of the movies financial success…unfortunately some scum released the movie on torrent long before it hit the screens.As a result,everyone watched it long before it hit the screens.As a result it was beaten by even “Ghosts of girlfriends past” at the box-office.So people,don’t watch the pirated copy.Do you really want this on your conscience??Do you really want a movie like “ghosts of girlfriends past” to win?

6.Politicians all over the world-Because they are the most abused,hated and maligned people in the world.They have even managed to beat lawyers.And that’s really saying something.

7.People whose lives have been affected by terrorists-Those people who haven’t been affected by terrorism won’t know what its like.I feel sorry for the terrorist if he came face to face with a guy who lost a lot because of terrorism.Sorry.I take that back.I don’t feel sorry at all.

8.English People-Despite inventing most of things,their performance in all of them is pathetic.Even their language got raped by the Americans.

9.Eminem-He is always angry as his songs demonstrate.His troubled childhood,and a troubled family life contributed to this.He married the same woman twice.And divorced her twice.Now he is dating her again.His fans don’t seem to care.They think he rocks!!!I am one of his fans.

10.Devdas-He would have been completely pissed off seeing SRK and bhansali’s “devdas”.He would come alive and kill abhay deol if he saw Dev D.

And now ladies and gentlemen.its time to announce the number one.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the number one is:-

1.GOD-For seeing the world he created become totally screwed up.

Love and Ego

2009-05-09T22:15:00.000+05:30

Well over the last few posts I have written a lot of gibberish-tried to be funny,socially aware,poetic…err quite a lot of things,but have failed miserably.So in this post I want to tell you something that is very close to my heart.

Love-I have always avoided this topic.Joked about it.Given idiotic answers while pretending they were witty.But today I want to say what I really think about love.

Love-love is something which gives you a cause for living a purpose for life-more than any war ever can.Love is something which can turn you in a second from the happiest man on the planet to its saddest being.Love can be your strength-as much as it can be your weakness.Love can make your life-or destroy it.I know all these sound corny but it’s the truth about love.It really is an amazing feeling.Only the people who have been in love can know that feeling.The most powerful thing in the world.Love can make you do things which you never knew you were capable of.Love is sweet.Love is painful.Thats what makes it so beautiful.Love is selfless.Love isn’t jealous…stop Anish stop…I am gonna start crying….

But if love is so beautiful then why does love cause so many problems??if love isn’t jealous why are there love triangles which culminate in even murders??Because there-love is overtaken by something else-EGO.It makes a person think-“What??He gets the girl and not me??I am in ways lesser than him.I am going to get her in any way I can.”Ego is jealous.Ego sinks a person to depths he didn’t know he was capable of.

Some of you will say “ok..leave the triangles.Why are there so many break-ups due to mis-understandings?”Again-the answer is EGO.And this is applicable mainly for guys.I AM NOT A FEMINIST.But I have seen in many cases-when a girl is more successful than a guy,the guy starts getting grumpy,making snide comments and becoming VERY VERY bitter-but outwardly showing how happy he is for her.The male ego then becomes stronger than love.And don’t think these cases are exceptional.These cases are the majority.A guy may be very liberal on the outside,but deep down he will always be jealous when his girl is more successful than him.Ego is jealous.Ego is selfish.

I don’t know if you have noticed this in any case but in many cases I have seen that after a girl has dumped a guy,a guy cant get over her for a long time.While a girl gets over very quickly after being dumped.This too is because of-oh no…gotcha this time-this isn’t because of ego.But this isn’t because of love either.This is because he finds it hard to get over a old habit.But finally he does.

I know that many of you might not agree with what I feel.Even many might want to beat me up or hang me upside down.But this is really what I feel.If you dont agree with me that’s your problem.Not mine.

Lastly-even though ego is negative and cause of many a fights and misunderstandings-here is a bad wish-Without those misunderstandings and fights love would become really really boring.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??GO GIVE THESE PEOPLE YOU LOVE A WARM HUG AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.BRITISH METRIC SYSTEM IS OBSOLETE.SO USE THE MKS ONE.

Death of Patriotism

2009-04-28T15:31:00.000+05:30

It’s official people.Patriotism is dead.Its over.The process which began quite some time ago has been completed by the IPL.Confused?Let me explain.

Patriotism has been dying for quite some time.With the concept of the world becoming a global village,patriotism has been on the vane for quite some time.I mean come on-you could see it.I remember when I was a kid I used to sit and watch India’s cricket matches.Each and every match.EACH AND EVERY BALL.I was afraid to shift my position in the fear that India might lose a wicket.But that was before a man called Sourav Ganguly.Bengal has always been shunted to the side by the western lobby and this man just showed what we can do.Birth of parochialism.This was bound to happen.In a country with 28 goddamn states(very poor in geography…inaccuracy of information regretted) where people of one part have NOTHING in common with the people of another part,this was bound to happen.At first I felt it was only me who lost his patriotism.But then I saw it’s not only me.No-one gives a fuck about this country anymore.But is it without reason that we have become so indifferent??Is it really??NO!!!

We were the ones who believed in INDIA.We were the ones who believed in the sacrifices of Bhagat Singh,Subhash Chandra Bose and the other brave freedom fighters.We dreamt of a better India.An India of equality.We actually believed in those “sovereign,socialist.secular.democratic” crap.Then we found out why our country sucked in the first place.Corruption.CORRUPTION from top to bottom.YEP!!!IN THIS COUNTRY,MONEY TALKS!!But how can you blame the common people??They get paid so less and they have a lot of mouths to feed.The government??Before blaming the governments,remember this:This is a country where our government has to make advertisements to stop female foeticide,infanticide.And yet no equality for girls!!!!How can you blame the government???People say politicians are corrupt.Yes they are.But more than that they are people who have realized that nothing can be done about this fucked-up country.If some one tries to do any good,others will pull them down to their level.And is it just politics??Look at our film industry.Copying movies from the west.Look at our sports.Spending millions on IPL,but not 1 congratulations for world champion Pankaj Advani.YES…we are people who go where there is hype…that’s how a shithole movie like ghajini is a blockbuster and a movie like Mumbai Meri Jaan bites the dust.People blame the brain drain on selfish young people.They say this generation has become selfish.Let me ask them something.WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE GIVE A DAMN ABOUT INDIA??WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GIVEN US EXCEPT HARDSHIPS,SHAME,TERROR,RELIGIOUS RIOTS,WAR AND GOD KNOWS WHAT OTHER CRAP??This country is dying.But no,don’t say that!!!Force a smile on your face!!!And say mera bharat mahan.

By the way,nowadays when India plays cricket,I change the channel and watch the ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE.

My Own Affirmation

2009-04-20T14:31:00.000+05:30

(with due apologies to Savage Garden.This is just my tribute to their song)

I believe that everyone should have their own opinion.

I believe that Clark Kent is more like-able than superman.

I believe that 18 isn’t the age to lose virginity.

I believe that soccer is more popular than Christianity.

I believe that one lifetime isn’t enough for our hopes and dreams.

I believe that people may not always be just as they seem.

I believe our actions alone decide our destiny

I believe that love and hate are more important than money.

I believe that success alone should never decide our fate

I believe Saint Peter is still standing by the Pearly Gate.

I believe we shouldn’t ever believe anything blindly.

I believe that now this song should come to an end finally.

I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned.

I believe you cant appreciate real love until you're burned.

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side.

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say good-bye.

Seventh Heaven

2009-04-17T18:04:00.000+05:30

Have you ever thought how it would be like to do whatever you wished to do for just one day?I thought a lot about.We live within so many bindings now-a-days that the real us is lost somewhere deep within us.We have become mechanical.We do certain things we don’t like to do but have to do because its decent its normal.”NORMAL” is the operative word here.So what would I do if I had one day to myself to do whatever I wished for without any bindings?

12.00 am-I would declare myself the President of the United States and withdraw troops from Iraq.I would stay at the White House for a couple of hours and enjoy a president’s life…but gotta go…time is short….so I stay here for only 3 hours….ha ha…

3.00 am-I would travel to Hollywood and sign Al Pacino for a tamil film starring Rajnikanth.In the movie Rajnikanth is the hero and Al Pacino is the villain,the leader of the USA army.Rajnikanth fights the entire USA army,navy and air forces with one hand tied behind his back and his blind-folded.Oh yes,he beats them without breaking a sweat.

7.00 am-I would buy all the shares(no financial binding remember?) of Warner Brothers and DC comics.From the next month DC comics will publish a weekly issue of Drona.1^st issue guest stars the Batman.Go collect your issue now!!I am sorry…from next month.

10.00 am-I am sitting in J.K.Rowling’s living room.She has agreed to start writing Harry Potter books again.I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

12.00 noon-I am having lunch at the Beverly Hills surrounded by Penelope Cruz,Salma Hayek,Monicca Bellucci and Keira Knightley.Mr Tom Cruise are you watching?

2.00 pm -I am here in Italy and have just bought a Ferrari.Michael Schumacher was the salesman.i am taking it to India without the taxes.Now I am going for a test drive.Penelope Cruz is sitting beside me.

5.00 pm-That test drive took a while.Me and Penny we went to the countryside.Stopped the car and enjoyed the scenary.I proposed to her and she said that she has been in love with me,the moment she first saw me.(YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND I SWEAR I AM GONNA BREAK EVERY TEETH YOU HAVE…OR IS IT TOOTH?)

7.00 pm-I am back in India.I have just signed Cristiano Ronaldo for Mohun Bagan.We are gonna thrash East Bengal the next time we play.

9.00 pm-I have completed banning all the television serials in the country.Ekta Kapoor is nearly crying but I ask her to go and make movies.I even give her dvds of a few English movies and albums of a few Pakistani bands from where she can rip off.

11.00 pm-All exams of any university just got cancelled.Guess who’s behind it?

12.00 am- I wake up.Its awfully hot and I am drenched.The open lab copy before me doesn’t look inviting at all.On the computer the news updates show Mohun Bagan has lost their match.

And all of a sudden I feel glad that finally normality is restored.

Some one-liners

2009-04-11T21:57:00.000+05:30

Ok, firstly-these aren’t mine.I found them somewhere and am posting them for you guys.Hope you like them.If you do-its my credit for choosing them.If you don’t-the person who spent his time writing this-he is the one at fault.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like… Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
21. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
25. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That ’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Random Thoughts of a Jobless Tramp

2009-04-06T16:07:00.000+05:30

Last night I was watching the movie scarface.It had Al Pacino in it.Al Pacino is of course best known for “The Godfather”.The Godfather is rated by many as the best movie of all time.George Best was the greatest player of Manchester United.Manchester United lost 4-1 to Liverpool recently.The legendary band “The Beatles” hail from Liverpool.The word beatle rhymes with seattle.The movie “Sleepless in Seattle” had Tom Hanks in the lead role.Tom Hanks’ worst performance was probably in “The Da Vinci Code”.Leonardo Da Vinci was a scientist besides being an artist.Leonardo de Caprio was awesome in Titanic.Titanic was directed by James Cameron.James Cameron also directed the superb action movies The Terminator.The Terminator had Arnold Schwarzennegar in the lead role.Arnie is now the governor of California.Hotel California is the defining song of eagles.”Where eagles dare” starred Clint Eastwood during his early years.Clint Eastwood directed “Changeling” last year which was nominated for Oscars.Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars with Rahman winning two.Rahman’s Delhi 6 was better than Slumdog Millionaire.Delhi 6 actress sonam kapoor debuted in the movie sawariya by Sanjay Leela Bhansali.Bhansali is rumoured to be remaking The Prestige.The Prestige starred Christian Bale and hugh jackman.If you are still reading this post you be sure that you are completely jobless like me.People are jobless because of recession.Recession caused the stock markets to crash.Crash starred Brad Pitt.I like Brad Pitt.I can go on like this for hours.But even jobless people need break from their jobless escapades.So I am gonna take a break from taking a break…and………..well………..take a break.If you have read till here it means you are not only jobless,but you also love to torture yourself.If you love to torture yourself you should go and watch Aag.Not read my post.so get lost.I am not writing another word.

(I had no intention of torturing you with this.I was merely trying to kill time…no wait…murder time…slaughter time….assasinate time…anyway…I failed…)

Mavericks-The rebels

2009-03-28T22:58:00.000+05:30

Well I hope all of you have noticed that the name of my blog is Mavericks.Now oxford has a definition of the word maverick.The word apparently was coined after the name of a guy called Maverick…who was…well….a maverick.In this post let me tell you what the word maverick means to me.

The first requirement of being a maverick is that you have to be crazy.Now by crazy I don’t mean lunatic asylum crazy.You have to get ideas and do things which will make people say “You’re Crazy!!!You have lost it!!!You are off your rockers!!!You have lost your marbles!!!”….ok,that’s quite enough..I hope you get the point.In other words you have to be able to dream impossible….and be stupid enough to try it.

The second most important point is you have to be unconventional.You have to do things,others wont dream of doing.Suppose you get an rank 30 in the IIT’s….and you enroll for English honours.YES!!!THAT MUCH CRAZY…TAKE THE UNCONVENTIONAL ROUTE….THATS WHAT A MAVERICK DOES.

Mavericks are born,not made.You can’t become a maverick.Because taking the unconventional route will not strike you unless you are a maverick.People laugh at mavericks because they are different.Mavericks laugh at people because they are all the same.

Last but not the least,A maverick is the very best at what he does.He is the damn best….otherwise in this cut-throat world..he wont survive taking the alternative route.But if you are a maverick,you will be the best.You know why?Because you enjoy what you are doing….the fear of failure disappears from your mind.You give a damn to rules.HELL A MAVERICK PLAYS THE GAME BY HIS OWN RULES.!!!HE REWRITES THE RULES OF THE GAME!!!

There are a lot of mavericks around us.In cricket you see this guy called Virender Sehwag.He hit technique and footwork out of the park for a six.The experts are perplexed.They don’t know how their theories could be wrong.But that’s what a maverick does.He wipes the smirk right off their smug faces.He brings them down from their high horses and prove them wrong.

Another guy is the director Anurag Kashyap.He refused to take the formula masala bollywood route..And he also refused to take the “look-i-am-rituparno-ghosh-and-I-make-intellectual-movies” route as well..It resulted in movies with great cinematic values which have become hugely popular with the masses.

All in all….all I want to say is….MAVERICKS RULE!!!!!ALL HAIL THE REBELS!!!!

The Common Man

2009-03-23T21:32:00.000+05:30

Before I begin this post,let me tell you 1 thing.My previous posts have been somewhat frivolous in nature,attempted tongue-in-cheek perspective of things.Let me tell you in this post there isn’t going to be any jokes or humour-because this topic is the one very close to my heart.

Yesterday I watched a movie called “A Wednesday” where a common man fed-up with the hopelessness of things around him,decides to take things into his own hands and gives the terrorists who have ended countless lives a fitting reply.During the climax of the movie he refers to himself as the “stupid common man”.This movie touched me a lot and got me thinking about the common man.

Firstly who is a common man??Practically anybody Irrespective of caste,creed,nation,religion,states, financial status.The common man is the most abundant creature on this earth.Each and everyone of us is a common man.Just another face in the huge and vast crowd.

That wasn’t a very convincing definition of a common man-isnt that right??Let me think…let me think…

Oh wait.How about this one??

A common man is the most exploited class of the society.He depends on everybody….and he is afraid of everybody….he depends on his employers for his livelihood….and they exploit him…even when he knows he is right…he cant fight back…because he cant afford to….he has a family back home…

When some political hotshot wrongs him,he cant fight back…but accepts it as a part of life….because he cant fight back…his life would be hell….he cant go to the cops…because he knows they are allied with the political leaders….his life would be hell….

The banks exploit him….they charge absurd interests on his loans….and he better pay up…or else the bank’s pet goons are gonna make life hard for him…..

Even education is not cheap….if he cant cough up the dough….his children can do without education….

The recession begins….and they are the ones worst affected by it…even those who escaped the cut…they are afraid that it may be their turn next…

The common man…what a strange race of people….with such a lot of threats they should be worried and depressed…yet look at them…..

They aren’t afraid…..they are happy with what they have….with so many forces crushing them down…they would have been dead and buried by now….yet look at them….they are still going strong….stronger than ever…..and they wont give up…

They are the ones who engineered every revolution in the past…when the tyranny became unbearable they are the ones who rose in arms….and restored order by using chaos…..

We are living in the worst possible times….when humanity has reached the lowest point….when struggle for existence is the main priority of life….

Yet the common man is not worried…Because he knows…however tough the going gets….he will be back…he always is….and he will bring judgement…..the stupid,ordinary,struggling,afraid,ever-smiling common man…..

What is love?

2009-03-19T22:46:00.000+05:30

Warning:The following topic is has been rated R for graphic boredom and severe head-aches.

Well,firstly let me make it clear.I am not a romantic or sensitive person.I don’t read romantic novels and sigh…or watch romantic films and cry.Now before you people,who are romantic start hurling abuses at me-let me tell you I don’t think that being romantic is wrong or anything.I am not the type..that’s just it.That is the reason I am writing this…whatever it is I am writing.I want to understand what love is.

For finding out I conducted a survey among various people from various paths of life.Here are the results:

Kalyan,my friend who studies in IIT Kharagpur said “Love is an obsession you have with a pretty girl…who has rejected you…and it lasts until you meet the next pretty girl.So basically true love doesn’t exist.”Maybe this is the point of view of a single guy.

Rudraneel the actor said “Kabiguru (!!!!) Nachiketa has said-bhalobasha mane pituitary-r khela…amra bokara boli prem(love is the game of our pituitary glands..we fools call it romance).”That’s right,go ahead-blame it on the hormones…..

Sumit ,another friend,says “love is all about sacrifices….”wow…that must mean it hurts a lot…so if such a lot of people fall in love all the time…they must be damn stupid….or maschoists….

Rahul,yet another friend,says “love isn’t about sacrifices-its about keeping that special someone happy….”yeah right.i wonder if he will love his girlfriend if she dumps him and finds happiness with another boy…

Surinder Sahni thinks love is about seeing god in someone…

So this survey shows that people have varied ideas on what love is….and rather than providing me with an answer it confused me even further….to get a clearer picture I took the help of movies and watched some romantic movies over the next few days.

I didn’t get any answer but I did develop an aversion towards any sort of romantic movies or novels or songs for some time after that.To help me relax I started playing Fifa and Cricket 08.Man,these games just seem to get better….you can sit with them for hours at a stretch…and yet never get bored…I just love these games….

Hang on-what did I say??I just love these-

THAT’S IT!!!

I have got my answer.I now know what love is.Here’s my definition of love-

Love is something which gives you happiness and enjoyment.When you love something or someone you never get bored of that person….or thing.I love games and comics.My friend swarnali loves chocolates…this is what love is….ha ha ha….

OH HELL….BABEL MISSES THE GOAL AGAIN…GODDAMN PROGRAMMING…..HEY GUYS….SEE YA LATER….I GOT SOME LOVE TO DO….

GUILTY CONSCIENCE:A PARODY?

2009-03-18T21:15:00.000+05:30

OK so this is not the first time this has happened.And I can bet my lunch for a day that this wont be the last time either.I mean can you guys believe it?How can anyone do this?oh sorry…I should have explained.

Ok this is what happened.I never attend Maths classes in college.I mean its not that I hate maths(basically there is nothing to hate about maths….its a very lovable subject…if you hate it…it means you suck in maths)I just hate the teacher and the way she teaches.I still remember the 1^st day I attended her class.She droned on for 90 DAMN MINUTES FOR GOD’S SAKE!!that day I told myself-I wont attend her classes and if any of my friends does…I will make that person my sworn enemy and do everything to make his life miserable..I mean come on…some teachers are horrible but damn gorgeous!!This one looks like Suniel shetty if he put on 40 more kilos and wore a sari.So you can see that I was very much right to bunk her class.

But you know there is a Bengali proverb-“shukhe thakte bhuute kiloy”….literally meaning that when you are happy a ghost punches you…but basically meaning that when there is no problem in your life you yourself invite it.So today morning I had gone to college…bunked the class,and sat down for a game of cards(ok…ok….OK….I know they don’t let me play coz I am a horrendous player…but I sit with them everyday ok??) when suddenly I had an attack of conscience…I will refer to my conscience as Anish idiot and myself as anish….here is the conversation between us…

ANISH IDIOT:HEY YOU….WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??

ANISH:WHO IN THE BLOODY GREEN WORLD ARE YOU??

AI:I AM YOUR GODDAMNED CONSCIENCE…

A:HEY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SWEAR?

AI:I AM YOUR CONSCIENCE NOT SOME GODDAMN PRIEST…AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER ME…WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

A:CANT YOU SEE OR ARE YOU BLIND AS WELL AS DUMB??I AM TRYING TO GET RONY TO GET UP SO THAT I CAN PLAY IN HIS PLACE…

AI:YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING THAT FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS WITHOUT SUCCESS….MAYBE IF YOU USED THAT TIME TO STUDY YOU WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO AVOID THE SUPPLI….

A:OH YOU JUST HAD TO BRING UP THE SUPPLI DIDN’T YOU??DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN THERE IS IN MY LIFE??DID YOU KNOW-

AI:HERE HE GOES AGAIN…1 CHANCE…NO…JUST HALF A CHANCE AND HE IS STARTED…HEY I KNOW YOUR TRAGIC STORY OK…MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER SELLING IT TO A TOLLYWOOD FILM-MAKER….YOU COULD HAVE A SUPERHIT POTBOILER “JIBONER DUKKHO BAROI SUKKHO”(THE PAIN OF LIFE IS VERY SUBTLE) WITH PROSENJIT ACTING IN YOUR ROLE....

A:WHAT YOU DARE TO MAKE FUN OF ME???DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN-

AI:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH…….YOU KNOW YOU ARE MORE LETHAL THAN OSAMA AND DAWOOD PUT TOGETHER….YOU CAN JUST BORE A PERSON TO DEATH……ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TELL THEM YOUR PAINFUL STORY…OVER AND OVER AGAIN…AND AGAIN….AND AGAIN….

A:JUST GET TO THE POINT OK??HOW COME YOU REMEMBER ME AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME….I MEAN THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS IN CLASS 10….WHEN YOU WERE TO TRYING TO RUIN MY EXAM BY STOPPING ME FROM COPYING….

AI:YEAH THOSE WERE THE GOOD DAYS….REMEMBER THE TIME I MADE YOU CONFESS THAT YOU STOLE AND ATE TWO EGGS FROM THE FRIDGE…OH THE SPANKING YOU GOT….

A:HEY,HEY,HEY IF YOU ARE HERE TO RUB SALT…..

AI:OH NO NO NOT AT ALL….I AM HERE TO HELP YOU….

A:HOW…ARE YOU EVEN SOLID??IF NOT THEN HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA GIVE RONY A KICK UP HIS BACKSIDE??

AI:NO I AM NOT HERE TO GIVE HIM A KICK UP HIS BACKSIDE…I AM HERE TO HELP YOU REDISCOVER YOUR PRIORITIES…..

A:HEY IF YOU THINK YOU CAN SOUND SERIOUS BY USING DIFFICULT WORDS….THEN YOU ARE MISTAKEN MY FRIEND….

AI:YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY???YOU THINK YOUR FATHER GOES TO WORK EVERYDAY AND WORKS HIMSELF OFF SO HIS SON CAN HAVE A NICE TIME SITTING ON HIS BACKSIDE PLAYING CARDS??YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DAMN MONEY HE SPENDS ON YOU AND HOW HARD HE WORKS TO EARN IT???DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE SACRIFICES JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD EDUCATION???YES YOU DO!!!YES YOU DO!!!AND YOU DON’T CARE!!!YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE IT!!!

A:I…I DIDN’T MEAN TO…I MEAN…I TRY TO….I AM SORRY…..YOU ARE SO VERY RIGHT….I AM REALLY SUCH A BAD BOY…..

AI:OH NOW DON’T START WHINING AGAIN…JUST GO AND ATTEND YOUR CLASS….

A:YES OF COURSE…..

And after that I came to attend the maths class.While doing the class there was a feeling of elation in my heart.I am finally doing it….I am finally getting my priorities right….I am-

“ROLL NO 7-ANISH DUTTA!!!”

I stood u and responded-“Yes Ma’am”…

“Well according to my attendance register this is your first class…did someone hold a gun to your head and send you to attend this class?”(chorus of laughter from my idiotic classmates).

And then I saw him….Mr Anish Idiot… standing behind that fat ma’am(yeah yeah..i know I am fat too)….and laughing the hardest….how I hate this &^%$#@!!!

But at least for 1 day…if only for 1 period….50 minutes…he gave me some hope of redemption….

The Wait

2009-02-04T20:41:00.000+05:30

The place- a small room in a two-roomed flat in south Kolkata.

The time-7.30 in the evening.

The main character of our story-if you think this to be an imaginary piece of fiction –is a boy in his early 20s.He isn’t what you will call good-looking.Nowadays when you want to say that someone isn’t good-looking,you say his looks are unconventional.So I guess you can say this boy’s looks are unconventional.Although the boys looks have nothing to do with this story still it is conventional(pun intended) to give the protagonist’s description before you begin.

So our protagonist is sitting in front of a computer.A movie is playing there and although he is staring at it,his attention seems to be elsewhere.You can tell this by the way he keeps looking at the wall-clock every few minutes and fidgets restlessly.As if he is expecting something to happen.Or it could be that he expected something to happen and it hasn’t happened yet-I wouldn’t know…you see…I am just a spectator like you.

The clock strikes 8.The boy gives up on the movie as a bad job.He stretches and gets up.He moves over to his desk.A bunch of thick books lay there carelessly strewn over the place.He looks at them and a for a second there is a shade of guilt in his eyes.His exams begin in a week and he really should be sitting poring over these books instead of waiting for who-knows-what.Don’t ask me how about his exams.Narrators know about these things ok?

He looks at the watch and makes a gesture of impatience.As if it is somehow the clock’s fault.He again goes and sits down at the computer and plays a song.Its a song that is as slow as his narrative and as sweet as a piece of Choco Alaska from Sugar and Spice.Somehow it manages to calm him down.He closes his eyes as if listening to the song.

He hurriedly opens his eyes and realizes he had fallen asleep.The clock says 9.27.

“Damn it!!” he mutters under his breath as he jumps up from his chair.He moves towards his cell phone and checks it.It says “1 unread message”.His pulse rate increases as he opens the message.It reads-

“Bring out the beer bottles dude.I have the question paper.call me in 10 min-Vivek”

He heaves a sigh of relief.

He pulls on a sweater and goes out.Reaches a phone booth-After all he cant use his own phone for this.Too risky.He dials a number-“Hello Lake Police Station?The question paper for the 1^st exam of AGC University has been leaked-….”

He hates doing this.After all Vivek is his friend.But he has no option.Vivek is also his biggest competition this year-and he has to win this time….