A Kolkata Tale II

This is the second part of A Kolkata Tale.You can read the first part of A Kolkata Tale here- A Kolkata Tale

Amit’s diary-

08 February 4 am

It’s  4 am in the morning and  I’m up writing.I am usually a late sleeper but I found it very difficult-scratch that-impossible to sleep last night.Usually when I am up all night it’s usually watching a game of soccer or doing work stuff.But last night-well last night I just couldn’t sleep.Would you believe that?So many years gone by man and I still can’t help remembering her on this day.Maybe I wouldn’t have if I didn’t run into her last year with that Hrithik Roshan look-alike toy wonder arm-candy of hers.But still,Hrithik or no Hrithik I shouldn’t be thinking of her.Not today.Not after so many years.Heh.Maybe if I had the brains I could have opened some hotshot website in the aftermath of her pain and become a billionaire by now and had a movie made on me.Maybe I should call her.Like right now.Tell her I miss her.No no get a grip on yourself you moron.Don’t even think about that.Are you nuts?She is happy in her life now why do you wanna spoil that?Isn’t it enough you hurt her badly once?I am gonna go get some sleeping pills now.Try and sleep it off.Maybe if I am lucky tonight’s the night I will OD and it will all end.

08  February 12 noon

Ok that was weird.I finally fell asleep and dreamt that I had become a footballer.A striker at that.I was approaching the empty net with the ball at my foot but when I kicked it,it went out over the post.And I suddenly heard her voice calling from the gallery-“You are a failure.You have let me down.” Soon she was joined by my friends in the gallery,my teachers and many people I knew.They were all chanting “Failure!” at me.I tried to run but no matter how hard I ran I was rooted to the spot.And they were getting closer.Kinda like zombies.Just then I woke up sweating all over.Wow that was just like a sequence out of Federico Fellini movie.Surreal.Damn I really gotta get her out of mind.Maybe I should call her.Clear things up.No no NO!!!Things like those happen only in movies.That too crappy bollywood movies.Damn I so hate that Hrithik Roshan wannabe!He could open a business.Hrithik Roshan-stealing girlfriends since 2000.DAMN I CAN’T BELIEVE I SOUND SO CHEAP!Well fuck it.Am off to see if there’s something to eat in the fridge.

08 February 4 pm

Well that was time well-spent.What a fuck-all movie!Why do they even bother making movies like this?And no sir it didn’t help me take my mind of her like Aniket suggested.Aniket is a good friend isn’t he?I mean he’s an absolute idiot but he’s got his heart in the right place and that’s what counts I guess.He won’t dump me surely.Or won’t he?Nowadays I can’t be sure.Okay that was kinda gay.Not that I have anything against gay people.Damn I am really going into a melodramatic overdrive.I really should call her.Maybe in the meantime I can auction off my self-respect and dignity as well.But what’s self-respect and dignity in case of love?Nothing,nothing I tell you,nothing!Ok seriously I don’t think I love her.I guess Woody Allen was right.This really is painful because she’s unattainable.Yes I truly want to be a member of the club which doesn’t want to have ,me.I am neurotic now.I know.Off.

08 February 10 pm

Ok seriously I shouldn’t even be writing at this point.I have been drinking for an hour and things seem very shaky all around.Like I’m on a ship.Aniket fell asleep talking about the numerous flings he had recently.Sometimes I envy him.I wish I could be like that.I once met a couple of Ani’s  lady “friends”.To use Sheldon Cooper’s expression-dumber than a bag of rocks.Maybe I shouldn't judge.After all,what am I?I guess I am not calling her tonight.I might.I don’t think I will be in complete control of my faculties for long the rate at which I am drinking.Anything that happens after that I am not responsible for.Well that’s it I guess.Signing off now.

“You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line”

-Johnny Cash,”I walk the line”

Love Found

Have you ever had this feeling –you have so much to say
But words keep betraying you and you keep looking away
When your lips just wouldn’t move and convey what it feels
But then you’ve always lacked the basic communication skills
When it came to playing hardball-you were game for a fight
But your punchlines and jokes have all but dried up tonight.
You’ve given tall and clever speeches before men wise and old
And all it took to shut you up was a date with a pretty girl
You love the smallest things about her-and yet you can’t express
All you can do tonight it seems is smile and stare at her face
If only you were a sorcerer and could make this night last
But soon it will be midnight-Cinderella’s time fades fast
And as you look into her eyes it hits you from the blue-
It doesn’t matter if she knows or not so long your love is true.
You just want her to smile this smile and be this happy forever
And realizing that my friend-that was something really clever.

P.S-This is my first attempt at a love poem.Don't criticize it too harshly even if it sucks.

A Kolkata Tale

Act 1
It was yet another Saraswati Puja.This day was always hard for him.Brought back a lot of painful memories.Since that year,every year he hopes the day would pass quickly and he would not notice it.But cruel as the days are they always took 24 hours to pass.Bringing back yet again those memories.They cut through his mind like broken shards of a mirror.
There wasn't any reason it would be any different this year.But what he hadn't anticipated was that this day could go worse.He was woken up by his phone vibrating loudly.He reached out from underneath his quilt and grabbed it-
'Yeah?'
'Wow up already you lazy bugger??I called you 5 times since the morning!!!'-said a voice he hadn't heard in 2 years.
'Aniket???" He asked his heart pounding.He was now wide awake.
'Oh so you remember??I feel really honoured man!!!You are such a big shot these days....I was afraid you wouldn't remember an old college friend' laughed Aniket from the other side.
'Wow!! I dont believe it dude...It's really you!!!!' he cried.
'Now now...don't wet yourself in excitement...so..you got any plans for today??' asked Aniket
'Well,I...' he was actually thinking of spending the day by himself...
'Ok Ok...I understand...I was thinking maybe we could go out...you know...go someplace...catch up on the old times...but if you are busy....' his voice trailed off.
'I dont believe you man...you call me up on the morning of a holiday to make plans....but hey,you know what...I am an impulsive guy...YOU'RE ON!!!!' .
'Now we're talking....meet you at Pacific Blue at 2 in the afternoon..cool?' asked Aniket.
'Cool....see you...bye for now'
'Yeah..bbye...'.

Act 2

He was standing inside one of the Pacific Blue bathrooms-trying to figure out how things got like him this afternoon.When he left his house today he had thought that this would be a quiet afternoon with his best friend in college..catching up on the old times.Maybe it would take his mind off the depressing memories associated with the day.But things haven't gone to his expectations and now he was stuck in this bathroom.

At exactly five minutes to 2 he had parked his car in the parking lot of Pacific Blue.When he entered,he saw Aniket was already there.He had thought that the place would be quite full with today being a festival but it wasnt.As he sat down he noticed Aniket looked the same as he looked in college.Aniket was a stud in those days.A handsome guy who used to make girls go weak in their knees.

'Let's order first shall we?' asked Aniket as he motioned a waiter to their table.

'Yeah ok,,,' he replied.

'I will have a Chicken Enchilada Casserole' said Aniket.

'Same for me too'

'So big guy,how is life?'asked Aniket.Aniket had this habit of calling him big guy because of his larger than normal stature.

'LIfe is fine...although pretty boring at the moment...how about you?'

'Hey...couldn't be better man.....I got a promotion at job....and there's this girl...man,is she is a kisser or what?'

'Still think you are a casanova eh??Give it up dude...the girls only feel pity on you...'

'Yeah well...jealous people tend to demean other's credentials...Hey Kabir!!!' Aniket suddenly shouted.

He turned his head towards where Aniket shouted and saw a suave-looking guy in tux and a girl beside him.His heart nearly stopped the next second as he realized it was Raya..Aniket didn't seem to be perturbed.He then realized Aniket didn't know Raya.He had heard about her but didn't know her.

The guy Kabir and Raya reached their table.Aniket began the introudctions-'Kabir this is Amit.Amit this is my colleague Kabir and his girlfriend Raya.'

Kabir smiled and extended his hand.Amit shook it.'Nice to meet you.'

Everyone smiled awkwardly for a moment.then Kabir spok-'Well...I guess we will be seeing you then...'

'Yeah...well...bye...'smiled Aniket.

As they moved away Amit and Aniket sat down.The waiter came and kept placed their food on the table.They started eating.But Amit was hardly in a mental state to eat.He never knew chicken enchilada casserole could feel so tasteless.He had then excused himself and came to the restroom.As he stood before the mirror all the memories came flooding back.

Act 3

Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of lonely street
at Heartbreak Hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

-Elvis Presley 'Heartbreak Hotel'



Amit and Raya has were first introduced by a common friend in their last year of high school.A month after that Amit had proposed and Raya said yes to him.After that their two-year long relationship saw some up and downs but it was in their second year in college on Saraswati Puja day that things finally broke down.

On that day Amit and Raya were supposed to go on an outing.But the previous day,the couple has had a huge fight and they weren't on speaking terms that day.Amit was pretty angry and had gone out with a group of friends.He had decided to let things cool down a little before talking to Raya again.

But fate had other plans for him.As he and his friends were sitting down for lunch in a South Kolkata restaraunt,one of his friends said-'Isn't that Raya?'

Amit quickly looked up and saw Raya sitting at a table some way in front with a boy whom Amit didn't know laughing and joking.

The blood rushed to Amit's head.He went to there table and shouted at her calling her a lot of foul names before storming out of there.He swore never to see her again.

But love is a very unpredictable emotion.When Raya called him in the evening he couldn't help receive the call.

'Congratulations' said Raya in an icy voice. 'I was having a huge guilt feeling for leaving you.But today you proved how right I am.'

'YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!'screamed Amit 'I LOVED YOU...AND YOU CHEATED ME YOU BLOODY --'

Raya cut him off-'And I loved you but you aren't worth it.You don't have any respect for anyone.You don't know how to behave with ladies.It's over.Goodbye'

And with that Raya cut the line.Amit sat there motionless for quite some time.

After that day 5 years had gone but the cupid did not visit Amit again.He felt he still hadn't let go of Raya.And today's chance encounter only accentuated this feeling..

Act 4

After 20 minutes he returned to his seat.

'Hey.you could have told me about your stomach infection.We could have ordered Crocin instead.' quipped Aniket.

'Maybe we could live without the wisecracks??and Crocin isn't for stomach problems you ignorant oaf' said Amit.

'Of course you would know a lot about that wouldn't you?' laughed Aniket.

'Let's get out of here' said Amit.

They left the restaraunt 5 minutes later.The encounter with Raya left him shook.But he trusted Aniket's quips and poor jokes to cheer him up.Maybe they could go to his home and chill over a pack of beers.What a depressing life it would be without friends.he thought.Maybe he should try socialising a little more instead of going into the shell.

The story might appear stupid to you.It may appear pointless to you.But this story does not try to tell an universal story for all ages.This is just another Kolkata tale.Nothing more.Nothing less.

Love and Ego

Well over the last few posts I have written a lot of gibberish-tried to be funny,socially aware,poetic…err quite a lot of things,but have failed miserably.So in this post I want to tell you something that is very close to my heart.

Love-I have always avoided this topic.Joked about it.Given idiotic answers while pretending they were witty.But today I want to say what I really think about love.

Love-love is something which gives you a cause for living a purpose for life-more than any war ever can.Love is something which can turn you in a second from the happiest man on the planet to its saddest being.Love can be your strength-as much as it can be your weakness.Love can make your life-or destroy it.I know all these sound corny but it’s the truth about love.It really is an amazing feeling.Only the people who have been in love can know that feeling.The most powerful thing in the world.Love can make you do things which you never knew you were capable of.Love is sweet.Love is painful.Thats what makes it so beautiful.Love is selfless.Love isn’t jealous…stop Anish stop…I am gonna start crying….

But if love is so beautiful then why does love cause so many problems??if love isn’t jealous why are there love triangles which culminate in even murders??Because there-love is overtaken by something else-EGO.It makes a person think-“What??He gets the girl and not me??I am in ways lesser than him.I am going to get her in any way I can.”Ego is jealous.Ego sinks a person to depths he didn’t know he was capable of.

Some of you will say “ok..leave the triangles.Why are there so many break-ups due to mis-understandings?”Again-the answer is EGO.And this is applicable mainly for guys.I AM NOT A FEMINIST.But I have seen in many cases-when a girl is more successful than a guy,the guy starts getting grumpy,making snide comments and becoming VERY VERY bitter-but outwardly showing how happy he is for her.The male ego then becomes stronger than love.And don’t think these cases are exceptional.These cases are the majority.A guy may be very liberal on the outside,but deep down he will always be jealous when his girl is more successful than him.Ego is jealous.Ego is selfish.

I don’t know if you have noticed this in any case but in many cases I have seen that after a girl has dumped a guy,a guy cant get over her for a long time.While a girl gets over very quickly after being dumped.This too is because of-oh no…gotcha this time-this isn’t because of ego.But this isn’t because of love either.This is because he finds it hard to get over a old habit.But finally he does.

I know that many of you might not agree with what I feel.Even many might want to beat me up or hang me upside down.But this is really what I feel.If you dont agree with me that’s your problem.Not mine.

Lastly-even though ego is negative and cause of many a fights and misunderstandings-here is a bad wish-Without those misunderstandings and fights love would become really really boring.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??GO GIVE THESE PEOPLE YOU LOVE A WARM HUG AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.BRITISH METRIC SYSTEM IS OBSOLETE.SO USE THE MKS ONE.