Shut up please!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen,boys and girls,brothers and sisters,straights and gays,conservatives and liberals.This is the list of people who I think talk too much shit and need to shut up immediately.

2.Mamata Banerjee-Look,I am not interested in knowing if there is a conspiracy by the Russian and Chinese brothers of the left government here to take over west Bengal.I don’t even want to know if the left are behind each and every bad thing to ever happen in this state,ok?All I know is that I badly need to sleep.I haven’t slept well for quite some time and I am extremely fatigued.SO TURN THAT DAMN LOUDSPEAKER OFF!!!AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!

3.Ramgopal Verma-Yeah,yeah,yeah.We have heard all of your blabbering before Ramu!!You said that Aag will make us forget Sholay….yeah,well it did…but not in the way we hoped!!So here’s a piece of advice-go home,think for a while and don’t come back until something good hits you…not Aag-good…satya-good or sarkar-good…ok??

4.Paris Hilton-This girl once said London is the capital of USA.Ok..i have seen dumb…AND I have seen DUMB…but that takes the cake..

5.Kareena Kapoor-Hi Kareena!!Well you see,in case you don’t remember,Jab We Met was a looooooooooooooong time ago…so stop saying Shahid is gonna use your name for promotion of his movie-and for god’s sake…get that dumb grin off your face,I throw the remote again at the TV,and my dad is gonna kill me.

6.British Media-Okay,first you made a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig deal of your football team….then of your cricket team….Well newsflash for you guys!!!The last time you won anything worth mentioning was 1966…so why don’t you win something and then go blah blah blah???And lay off the Aussies…at least they win…

7.Baba Ramdev-Look mister,nothing personal…but if I were you,I wouldn’t come on tv and give advice…instead of healing people you are making people like me sick…and violent,for that matter.Advice for you-Open a chamber and start a practice.By the way,your physique doesn’t give a very advertisement for your methods.

8.Rakhi Sawant-YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!NO ADVICE NOTHING!!!JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

9.Aamir Khan-Will the real Aamir Khan please stand up?And not the one who thinks he is an intellectual actor and comes up with crappy movies like ghajini and takes potshots of SRK all the time??aah…what the hell…both are equally bad!!

10.Himesh Reshammiya-I don’t know if I got my spelling right…and I am not too bothered to tell the truth.All I want to say is you are not half as bad a music director as you are a singer…I developed an allergy to tandoori after that song of yours….so please,stay away from the mike…and more importantly,stay out of the camera’s field…please!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddd now-The No.1 yap-yapper who really needs to zip it-

1.Anish Dutta-This good for nothing punk really needs to shut up.Anish,mate my advice to you is remember-A dumb man has no enemies.So put a lid on it.No-one’s interested in your views ok??Spare me the grief!!