Thursday, November 25, 2010

No Going Back

Say no to drugs and wannabe gangsta thugs
The night may be young but what’s that to me?
Elvis has left the building quite some time back
And you are still waiting-aww dude don’t you see?
The show’s over-party’s ended-go home and sleep
The jokes are old-the food’s cold-girl you can weep
Ain’t no going back now-things changed forever
You dont have a clue do ya?am trying to be clever
Universal admiration I ain’t gonna get homie
Won’t understand me,unless you really know me
But this ain’t about me-that ship has already sailed
This is about the people I know-people I have failed
I just wanted to say-I know-I really let you down
But that’s me-never the hero-always the clown
So I hope you forgive me-coz I really love ya all.
Hope ya take it in your stride-the rise and the fall.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

The Truth

“What is the truth?”-Pontius Pilate trying to be a smartass.

“You want the truth?You can’t handle the truth.”-Jack Nicholson on Tom Cruise wanting to sleep with The Truth.

“I always tell the truth.Even when I lie”-Al Pacino on how he rats out everyone's secrets to Inspector The Truth.

Truth-(not to be confused with the pro-wrestler with the in-ring name R-Truth who knows just one silly rap song and sings it every time and has jobbed in more matches than anyone in the history of pro-wrestling.And all characters in this article are fictional.Including the pro-wrestler mentioned in the previous sentence.Any resemblance is purely co-incidental.Now go chew on that.)

The truth is one of the most ambigious characters in human history.It is often said to be biased towards victors and unfair towards the defeated.The Truth could also be a bad sit-com starring Gerard Butler and Jon Cryer where there is nothing to laugh about but the laughter track is still rolling on the floor laughing.But that is just digressing from  the point of the article which is to find the truth.

The truth is someone whom  everyone claims to be looking for but no-one actually likes.
Case in point-

“I am a really bad person”-to this statement the answer in 90 percent of the case should be yes TRUTHfully.But the tried and tested answer which works in this case is “No your not”.

Truth has a hot girlfriend called Lies-whom everyone likes because she’s kind of a slut and usually satisfies everyone.As is the hypocritic nature of human beings everyone claims to hate lies but everyone is in bed with her.Yet truth sticks with this cheating bitch because without Lies there won’t be the Truth.

In his young age the truth used to be a very athletic and gullible guy.All brawns no brains.That’s why he could easily be twisted and manipulated.Nowadays no one bothers with that though.Whenever there’s a job to be done everyone employs his girlfriend.

Truth used to be bosom buddies with the fictional character Yudhistira-But he wasn’t much of an adviser.When he listened to truth Yudhistira lost his kingdom,had to go live in a forrest and share his wife with his 4 bro-hams.But one day after he listened to his other pal Krishna instead of Truth-he got back everything.Since then truth is never the best friend of everyone.

Truth is usually disliked by most because he is very arrogant and brash and doesn’t care for people’s feelings.Then there’s this dude called Poetic Justice whom Truth can’t stand and hamper his work at every possible chance.

Despite all his shortcomings-everyone meets Truth once in a life face to face-and even though he is a no-good angry foul-mouthed son of a bitch-most usually feel lighter after they have met him.Which is why I guess he still lives on to this day.

And with that I conclude this article.My parents did not send me to study engineering for this.Yet this is how pathetic I have become.And that’s the TRUTH.

Monday, October 04, 2010

A Long Forgotten Story

People  don’t change all of  a sudden.People change bit by bit over time.Until they change so much that they become unrecognizable.People change because of various reasons.But a reason has to be there.Otherwise why would someone with a perfectly happy life change?I know you are wondering by now what this is all about-well,this is about my friend Rajeev.He was once my best friend.

Rajeev and I became friends at a very young age.Two frightened kids united by their fear of the unknown on the first day of school.Since then we were thick as thieves.As long as we were in school we did everything together.We played together,we fought against other kids together-we got caught and got punished together.Ah,those days!I think they have a name for that-they call it Utopia.

This went on for 10 years.We saw each other grow up-Our topics of discussion would change from cartoons and superheroes to girls and soccer.I remember at one point of time-we had crush on the same girl.FYI-she wasn’t interested in either of us.But that didn’t stop us from having a good laugh.

In Class 9,our sections were changed due to different additional.Now we got to see less of each other-We couldn’t hang out as much as we used to.Moreover I saw he made some new friends-Some people who didn’t have the best of reputation in school.I was kind of shy and introvert so I couldn’t make that many friends-Or any close friends at all.I concentrated on my studies.Meanwhile the changes in Rajeev were so marked that everyone was beginning to notice it.His dressing style had changed-he always had a cigarette between his lips.I tried to talk to him 2-3 times about this.Asked him why he had become like this-He used to react harshly on these occasions-told me that I had no right to judge him and that his new friends were far better friends than I ever was.

We reached class 11-12 and  we grew further apart.Despite not being close friends anymore Rajeev had always kept contact with me.He used to call me up late at night when he was feeling sad or when he was in trouble.I missed my friend-so I used to take whatever time I could get with him.But now he even stopped calling me anymore.Sometimes his mother would call me up and ask me about his activities in school-I had no answer for her and it is at these moments I felt guilty and in some ways responsible for Rajeev.In the meanwhile I was in a lot of trouble myself with poor grades and studies-So I couldn’t concentrate on Rajeev’s problems any more.And slowly he faded from my mind.

After school ended I didn’t see him anymore.I went through college-wasn’t too successful.And in this struggle for existence I had forgotten about Rajeev completely.

More than 25 years have gone by.I am now in my 40s a typical middle-class Bengali man struggling to make ends meet for his family.Today I was reading the morning newspaper while having tea as usual  when an article caught my eye-

“Gangster killed in shootout”

You guessed it right.The black and white picture underneath this caption belonged to my school friend Rajeev Sengupta.He changed so much as a human being over the years but his physical appearance was nearly the same.Handsome as ever.And the photograph brought so many memories back.I don’t think I will be able to concentrate at work today.

In the end I would like to say this-I don’t know the reason for his change.I don’t know whether his philosophy of living life on the edge was worse than my philosophy of living life safely in a hole.From this tale all I can tell you is that-I miss my school friend.Maybe if we were together our lives could have turned out better.Because no relationship is as unselfish and giving as the one among two best friends.

Monday, September 20, 2010

How to be an Indian Intellectual in 10 easy steps

1.Hate Orkut.Show it.Even if you don’t hate orkut-show some hatred.Ridicule it.Generalize it’s users.This will earn you 10000 points in your intellectual account.

2.Show your public hatred of Chetan Bhagat.You may like him but do you want to be an intellectual or not?Remember how many crappy and clichéd IIT novels he inspired and your job will become easier.

3.Show your hatred for Twilight and Justin Bieber.Show it regularly.Show it frequently.Nothing says intellectual better than I hate Twilight and Bieber.It’s ok if you have no idea who or what they are.Most don’t so nobody’s gonna test you.

4.Be a communist.Or act like one.Throw in the words Marx,Lenin,philosophy,ideals,Che Guavera,Communist Manifesto in your conversations.Trust me no one will know the difference.Real communists will take the word out of your mouth and give you a long-winded explaination.Fakers won’t know the difference.They will think you are some big wiseass.

5.Now,this one is worth a 1000000 points so listen up carefully-Grow long hair.Wear some junk jewellery.Doesn’ matter if you are a guy or a girl.Dope and booze and wear Jim Morrison T-shirts.Form a band with another couple of wannabe intellectuals.Post pictures of yourself playing a guitar or boozing on Facebook.There ya go.You are an intellectual.It’s ok if you have no idea of who Jim Morrison,Kurt Cobain,Metallica etc are.Most of them don’t.

6.Now you have to realize how important Facebook is for this purpose.Facebook can make you.For example if you have seen half of Citizen Kane and felt pretty bored-it doesn’t matter.Go to Facebook and like Citizen Kane,Orson Welles and anything remotely related to that movie.Because intellectual people like Citizen Kane-do you want to be or intellectual or not?then suppose you overhear or oversee a couple of guys discussing French New Wave-you don’t have to know what it is-just go and like the damn thing on Facebook will you?Facebook likes are meant for showboating only.

7.Pretend to be a soccer fan.You don’t have to be one.Just say I support Manchester United.Remember they win a lot of trophies and you want to come off as an winner don’t you?Nowadays you can also support Barcelona-And on match-days you don’t even have to watch the goddamned matches-just update your status on Facebook and tweet with the following from time to time- “Go Barcaaaaaaaa” “GGMU” “Go Messiiiiiiiii”.

8.Show your hatred for commercial Bollywood.Make fun of Bollywood in every possible way.Even if you watch every damn movie of Bollywood-but remember-you are now becoming an intellectual and intellectuals hate Bollywood!!You can be an Aamir Khan or Anurag Kashyap fan though-most people think they are “different” making “different” movies-You don’t have to know like their movies-Just praise them a lot.And your job is done.

9.Use the F-word the MF-word,the B-word a lot.Throw it in before as many words as you can.That’s what intellectuals do.Don’t you watch MTV and Channel V reality shows?F-words are the in thing-so use them.

10.Write wannabe smart-ass blog posts which are hopelessly derivative or completely devoid of humour.Like this one.If you blog no one can stop you from being considered an intellectual.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Uninspired Ramblings

I am not a bright kid-so think you can forgive me?
If I ain’t so cool tonight-think you’ll still love me?
I wanna be a smartass,pal-but I’ve had a hard day
A while back I even put my ego for sale on Ebay.
Tonight,brother-I envy the drunks and Superman
They aren’t bound by the shackles of life like I am
Wish we could just sit and chat like Kate and Leopold
I am afraid of the passing days-aware I’m growing old
My insecurities might prove stronger than my barrier
My wall of silence might succumb to my worst fears
Let’s forget all these sad thoughts-spread a little joy
You can be my Marilyn Monroe I will be Johnny Boy

So now that we got that settled-

Everybody have a seat coz am gonna let it rip
Nowadays my mind fails-inspiration rarely clicks
So who knows how long ‘tis ‘fore I end this gig
The end is near coz anyday now imagination R.I.P.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


I was hearing a Beatles song a while back-“Give peace a chance.”It’s a very well meaning song no doubt but somehow it irked me.Don’t get me wrong-I love the Beatles-I totally do.But I disagreed with their song-give peace a chance-Goddamn it!!!Peace has been given a lot of chances already-look at our country-we were peaceful people and were plundered over the ages by the Pathans,the Moghuls,the British etc.Peace never works.Peace only works in Utopia.It’s war out there-always has been,always will be.

Fighting-I hear people saying this-“Fighting never solves anything”-Do these people really believe that?We have been fighting since the dawn of civilization.Fighting for our existence.We fight daily-for our lives,for our jobs,for our love.Fighting is a natural part of us.See whenever there is a street fight people gather round to watch.It's a primal instinct-why not embrace it?If we don’t keep at it we will obliterated.Because even if you don’t fight for your rights-no one will give it to you.You have to play by their rules-beat them at their game.

All these hypocrites nowadays-They slam rock and rap music-for being too violent,for spreading hatred,for profanities they say.They-whoever they are-claim that these are harmful for kids-that it influence children in a negative way-Influence in a negative way?Why because they teach them the truth about life?Because most of these rock and rap musicians had to fight their way up from the gutters-fight for every inch-they know what it is.Committing a crime is ultimately up to the offender.It’s got nothing to do with influence.Thousands of people listen to this kind of music-but what they make of it is completely up to them.Some people misunderstand the message in the songs.And anyday I will take this over your pop shit-which has songs mostly about love,heartbreak and blah blah blah-because life doesn’t begin or end with amour-Life is a continuous struggle for existence.

I hear this phrase quite a lot-“love conquers all”-Like hell it does!!The phrase “falling in love” has deeper meaning.Love gives you this sinking feeling.Love gives you weakness.Love opens that door behind which lurks of having your faith broken,your love betrayed.Hatred on the other hand depends on no one.Hatred acts on it’s own.Hatred fuels the vengeance.Hatred makes people do things they didn’t know they were capable of.And am not talking about the negative things-think of the positives-With hatred comes a furious urge to prove yourself-and that is a motivation love can never give you.

All I am saying is give hatred a chance-Hatred when channelled in the right direction can lead you unto great things-USE THE RAGE!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Implosion Explosion

I kinda have anger issues-often find myself imploding
The anger builds up and I have difficulties unloading
But now fuck it-am gonna soften things down no more
If roses are red,violets are blue-too bad fuck you whore
And I hope you won’t take it personally fellas and ladies
That ain’t for you-it’s for the enemy of the Slim Shadys
Coz I got a beef with people who dare to fuck with The King
I wanna fuck them up like the former wives of Charlie Sheen
These gals really think they can ape Elvis and get away?
Hah! CRon has a better chance of turning out to be gay
And people are too touchy these days-easily offended
But doesn’t mean I’ma stop now-this war hasn’t ended.
Am tired of being polite-what’s the point of it anyway?
Gonna get buried all the same-at the end of the day
So I’ll be bringing the house down-as long as I feel tough
Tonight after a long time-Nightwing’ll hafta play it rough
Am taking the leap of faith into the fire under the frying pan
Tonight I am Clint Eastwood-Blondie meets Harry Calahan
And I don't care if no one else reads this goddamn crap
When I gotta diss and bash-I am gonna always try to rap

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Yours Sincerely

Dear Princess

It’s been years since we last met-
And I was just wondering how you’ve been.
I hope you are doing fine-
I read about your engagement the other day
I wanted to congratulate you but
I couldn’t make it-Even if I could-
I knew I wouldn’t be welcome.

I had a lot of dreams for you-
I wanted to be a part of your life
I wanted to see my little girl grow up
But Fate had other plans
I know I haven’t been the best father
I could’ve been
I know my faults aren’t easy to forgive
I know I abandoned you when you needed me
I was too brash and too ambitious
I chose career over family
But trust me princess-
I always loved you-you and your mother
I always missed you-
But your mother and I-we were young
We were stubborn
We let our egos decide right and wrong
Our eyes were blinded by pride
We couldn’t see our conceit
Tearing us all apart.
And as I sit alone in this deserted palace
Furnished with expensive belongings
To cover the hollowness of this farcical existence
I couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve been
If we would have been together.

And I am not writing to you
Hoping you’d forgive me
For the years of negligence
For all the times I wasn’t there
When you needed a shoulder to cry on
I don’t expect you to forgive me
For not being there in your joys and tears
I just hope you will remember our mistakes
In the new life you’re about to begin
It hurts a father to say this-
But I hope you won’t follow in my footsteps
I guess that’s all I can say now-
Wishing you all the happiness in the world-

Yours sincerely-Dad.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Remains of the Day

It’s just another morning in Kolkata.Kolkata-My city.The place where I was born and brought up.The city where I have memories of all the important moments of my life.But this morning the city seems different and distant.Today all the sights and sounds of the city that I am so familiar with and have been for a long time-everything seems detached from me and my life.

It’s 8 am in the morning-I am sitting with all the newspapers circling out possible job opportunities.I have been doing this for over 3 months.Searching for newspapers-applying for job interviews and being rejected at the interview.It’s almost become a routine by now.My poor grades at school and college keep haunting me.I was never a very bright student.And I wasn’t much of a hard-worker either.So my grades came as a surprise to no one.But today the job openings were the last thing on my mind.I was still reeling from the events of yesterday.

It’s 10 am and I am getting ready to go out for today’s job interview.My mother looks at me proudly as I dress.It’s funny how she never lets me feel like a loser.She always treats me as if I am the most important person in the world.She always complements me when I dress up even though being of medium height,dark complexion and being overweight I really am not a head-turner.But that’s the best thing about my mother-She never loses her temper with me.She never makes me feel bad about myself.People say she spoils me-But she doesn’t care.I look at her face and feel pangs of guilt for abusing her leniency and love.I wonder if she knew about the events of yesterday how she would feel.

It’s 2 pm-and I sit down on a rickety bench in a rice hotel for my afternoon lunch.It’s surprising-no matter where you go in Kolkata you find these hotels where they provide a lunch in less than twenty rupees.A variety of people come here-From construction workers to taxi drivers to unemployed broke young people like me to nearby office staff.Everyday I observe these people while enjoying my lunch-I listen to them chat and express their opinions on almost all topics under the sun.Most are coming here for years and know each other really well.Listening to them livens up the dullest of my days.But not today-today there’s a huge weight on my mind-that nothing can lighten.

It’s 5 pm-I am sitting in a bus and returning home.My workday is like everyone else.The only difference is they go to work everyday and I go to apply for work everyday.It was this time yesterday that it happened.I was returning home like usual.The bus was over crowded and people were in a foul mood as usual.Little did we know of the tragedy waiting around the corner.The bus was near Maidan when it happened.The bus in front was going really slow-as is the nature of all near-empty buses in Kolkata.Just as our bus was overtaking this bus-A man came out of nowhere in front of the bus.I can still see it as if it was happening just now.The sickening smash,the blood splattered on the windscreen,the tumultuous shouts.A man who left his home and family in the morning perfectly healthy-won’t be returning to them anymore.How quickly it happened-a life built bit by bit for years-destroyed in a second.A family reduced from normal to grieving in a second.And these sights,visions and thoughts have been haunting me since yesterday.There are so many people who do wrong to the world-who hurt people,take lives and commit all kinds of wrong-doing.And yet God chose this man-someone who was there only because he had to go to work for his family.

It’s 9 pm and I am roaming aimlessly in Gariahat.I didn’t feel like returning home so early and listening to Dad’s criticism of my life and pointing out my mistakes.I needed to be alone.And now it’s late.I see all around people readying to call it a night.I see people wrapping up for the day.Tomorrow will be another day to start afresh.But for tonight the war has ended temporarily and the soldiers are tired.Tonight in this rainbow city of my mine-people are just picking up the remains of the day.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Ramblings of a Rainy Day:Heartache for a Paradise Lost

I am trying to be the smartass dude-to get into a flow
But today I am too indifferent to tell tales of woe
It’s been raining all day long-and I am melancholy now
And Cohen’s Hallelujah is getting me high somehow
Maybe at the stroke of midnight cometh the 3 ghosts
The 3 ghosts of reminiscence-future,present and past
The bestseller novel was unceremoniously cast aside
As I look out of my window-and up at the cloudy sky
Today I wish I was 10 again-floating boats in puddles
Before life’s tyranny rendered me dumb and befuddled
Our minds are so twisted now-we fail to think straight
Fail to love the simple pleasures-we are so full of hate
Our peers control our likes,dislikes-the society our dreams
Happiness has lost the war-now Ambition reigns supreme
But no matter how big you get-you will always feel a pain
When you see a 10 year old-floating boats in the rain.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I am Superman Prime,the Time-Trapper
I ain’t a gangsta-naah not a crime rapper
I am damned to an eternity of sociopathy
These humanoids don’t have my sympathy
I know what they say-they call me a freak
But if ya ask me-they ain’t allowed to speak

I am Harvey Dent-They call me Two-Face
I am the biggest hypocrite around this place
For every time I pick I side-I try to be unfair
I can’t face the truth-so I try to do a dare
The number two has always fascinated me
Coming out second-best is a habit,you see

I am the goddamn Batman,no not Bruce Wayne
I ain’t borderline psychotic-am just plain insane
I don’t hafta do drugs-this beatdown gets me high
Some say I am a sadist-I say DIE CRITICS DIE!!
Some say it’s a compulsion-I don’t have a choice
I say you are freaking nuts- in my gruff bat-voice

I am Clark Kent-the timid mild-mannered man
I have a huge crush on Lois Lane-if only I can
Tell her that I am the guy with fists of steel
And I am from Krypton-stop calling me Smallville
I can fly,I can shoot laser-Hey you know that bloke?
Harry Potter-I can see him in his invisibility cloak.


P.S:This is what happenes when you don't have anything constructive to write... :D

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Sometimes I wonder why I write this stuff
I know they are generic-I try to act tough
But I know they suck-a waste of your time
I’d be arrested if bad writing was a crime

All I do ever is diss,complain moan and whine
And find an excuse for every mistake of mine
And blame all the people who tried to help me
Pretend being blind-easier to look away than see

I try to be the Dude-but I fail to be the man
I fail to be the Dude too-I don’t think I can
Charm people off their feet-that ain’t me
I can only try to cheer you up unsuccessfully

I shirk responsibilities-I can shoulder none
I remain the same immature frivolous one
I try to cover that up and I say I am a rebel
But the truth is-coward is more apt a label

My friends try to help me-I turn them away
This way I have lost many friends to this day
Yet others keep coming and trying to help me
Some feel I am misguided-they don’t know me

Things change all the time-yet they stay the same
I figured this out long ago-this is not a game
We ultimately learn to live with what we’ve done
I guess it’s my fate to be the unrepentant one.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Going against Gender Stereotypes

Hmm.I usually don’t do tag posts-But this is an interesting one.Sins against gender stereotypes-I won’t bore you with a long winded explanation of what gender stereotypes are because I know you won’t bother going through it-I wouldn’t if I were you.But the main reason is because I don’t want to-So chuck the appetizers and let’s the begin the main course-The things I am supposed to do or love as a guy but which I don’t enjoy-

1.No smoking/drinking-I don’t smoke.I don’t drink. Almost all the guys I know smoke.Most drink.It’s not that I am bound by some moral code or I think smoking or drinking is “wrong”-neither is it because it’s harmful for health.I tried to smoke one day-found the taste horrible and haven’t done it since.As for drinking,after school I sometimes used to have a beer once in 6 months.But now I have given that up too.

2.Not a rock music fan-I am not a rock music fan.Most of the guys I know are crazy rock music fans.They swear by Pink Floyd,live by Metallica.They eat Iron Maiden,drink Coldplay.Except for alternative and classical rock,I find rock music extremely annoying-And I can’t stand metal-It seems to me,those fellas in the bands try to pass off noise as music.

3.My dress sense-Most of the guys around me are always wearing jeans and tees.But I love wearing full-sleeve shirts and trousers. I guess this isn’t much of a point but it still makes me stand out like an odd duck.

4.I hate action movies-What is the matter with me?Guys are supposed to LOVE action movies!!And here I am-who finds them stupid,over-the-top and extremely idiotic.I don’t even like them for time pass.Yep for me,action movies suck!!

5.Not a gadgets freak-This is yet something which most guys love.They go crazy over the latest gizmos and cool gadgets-I am not particularly intrigued by those.I have no interest Ipad,Iphone etc.I hate touch-phones coz I suck with them and use an outdated Motorola model with just an FM radio and no other features.I find these new gadgets too cumbersome and hard to manoeuvre.

6.I hate porn-Well this might be hard to believe for some people-in fact most-but that’s the truth-I am a guy who abhors porn.Let me tell you the origin story of this problem-I was in class 12 when a friend decided to show me porn-I felt sick seeing it-I had to go and throw up-It seemed so vulgar-Later that night I couldn’t sleep-kept sweating.Many of my friends know this already-Since that day I have never tried to watch porn.

Well I guess that sums it up I guess.Other than these stuff-I am pretty much I guy-ish guy and do all the stuff guys does-From football mania to being a glutton to eyeing random hot girls on the street-I like it all.
I am not tagging anyone in this post-Anyone who wants to do it feel free to take up this tag-I guess that’s it for now.Have fun.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Some Objections

Good Morning ladies and gentlemen.I usually don’t write posts on controversial topics but today the topic of my post is feminism and some of my objections to it.

Firstly I will take up the issue of equality-they claim they want equality and they are not getting them-HELLO!!!!Look around-Women now get all the facilities and advantages men get-In most countries in the west they have been getting them for a long time-and in our country also post-independence in most places things have been equal for a long long time.And in this age-what is there to complain about-women are rampant in all fields and are doing as well as their male counterparts.Some of the notable women in their fields-
Sonia Gandhi-President of the Indian National Congress.
Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw –Chairman and Managing Director of Biocon Ltd
Kiran Bedi-retired IPS officer
Barkha Dutt-Group Editor,English News,New Delhi Television.
The above 4 are just a few examples of the many of women who had made it to the top.They made it to the top in fields which are thought to be male-dominated.What does this prove?Those who have talent make it.There are some who,if they don’t make it will start blaming it on gender bias instead of recognizing their own lack of talent.I know some of you will say-those are just one or two examples-they are exceptions not rules.In response I can show you a list of a number of female high-profile politicians and journalists in the country.By the way,only two persons qualified from West Bengal last year for the Indian Administrative Service.And guess what?Both were women.Got my point?Some more information-the pass percentage of girls in Secondary and Higher Secondary exams have been better than boys for quite some time now.It’s not an exception any more-it’s become the rule.In India and most civilized countries in the world-women aren’t subjected to any sexual bias-may be it exists within the mind of some men-but now there are hardly any outward displays of it.

Another example-A friend of mine recently went to do his training at a reputed institute of this country.His mentor kept dilly-dallying for days and the work wasn’t starting.But when a girl arrived on the scene the job got done within a day.Now isn’t that inequality?Feminists might say to that how is the girl responsible-They are right-she isn’t.But if the opposite thing happened they would be the first to start shouting about inequality.

Which brings me to my next point-the female infanticides,the honour killings,the forced marriages-these are things which should be really concerning.But we don’t see feminists bother much about these issues.If they were really bothered about women rights-why haven’t they been doing something about these heinous crimes except condemning them in the strongest words?These killings are still rampant in some parts of India but the feminists haven’t been taking any drastic actions to stop them-And I will give you the reason why-because they don’t bring as much limelight as a Jesicca Lal murder case.These women and girls whose names even they don’t know deserve justice as much as Jesicca does.But they won’t ever make the front page of the newspaper.They will be buried in a coloumn in one of the centre pages.Where they will be read about,righteous indignation will be expressed and forgotten in a day or two.That’s the reality.If feminists really want to do something they should do something for the betterment of the lives of these women.

Another thing I have seen about feminists is that they keep harping on the same issue-About how they were oppressed and tortured for so many years.Yeah they are right-it’s shameful.But it has ended now!!!Things have been different now for quite some time!!!MOVE.THE.HELL.ON.Why should we suffer for what people did long time ago?Why do men of this generation get accused for what we didn’t do?
Now let’s come to the modern day women with a feminist attitude-If a guy sees his girl flirting with some other guy and asks her to cut it out,in maximum occasions her reply is –“Oh you are so possessive and jealous-typical male chauvinistic attitude.”Although she would have acted the same way if the guy flirted with another girl.This is a typical example of the current day feminist who also uses the word “space” a lot.And “moving on”.

In conclusion this is what I would like to say-In this modern day society there isn’t much difference between men and women.They are equal and most men see women as their equal and are NOT insecure or jealous in any way.In fact,I find nowadays men feel proud if their partners or spouses have risen greatly in life.This is the I.T age and not the middle ages.If feminists really want to do something they should find out a permanent solution for the betterment of the lives of the women in those parts of the country where prejudice and bigotry still exist.And until it does that it will be just a philosophy of big words and outdated ideas.You want equality-feminism promotes inequality.Feminism keeps pointing out the fact that they are men and you are women.I read somewhere a person opined feminism looks to avenge the oppression of women by oppressing men.Now that is just not right.There are evil men-but there are good men.It must be made sure that in their over-zealous quest for justice-A good man doesn’t become the victim.That’s all I have to say on this.

P.S-If some of my lady friends see this I might get killed or lynched.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Burned Out

My faith is like a CD that has too many scratches
My fate is Jonty Rhodes-it has too many catches
My words have lost their edge-the fire is gone
Eyes have lost their sparkle-my voice is a drone
My hands feel so numb-I cannot feel a thing
Only my heart can still feel-a burn and a sting
Life doesn’t have a purpose-we make up stuff
I won’t play your game and I won’t call your bluff
The worst of your venomous words fail these days
The time has come for us to go our separate ways
We played this game for way too long-now I’m bored
My fingers ache and a layer of rust covers my sword
I feel so sedated-my eyes are heavy with sleep
You are just a memory now-No more do I weep.

Friday, June 25, 2010

What Women Want

As I begin to write this it occurs to me I might be making a mistake.I mean what do I know about women?I don’t think women themselves know clearly enough what they want.So how can a guy of the opposite gender who has very little experience with women??That was a joke.The first part-about women not knowing what they want.The second part is absolutely true.So you might be forgiven if you consider it somewhat of an audacity for me to even try to write something on this topic.I won’t forgive you-someone else might.

Ok,enough BS-ing around.Let’s get down to the brass tacks.What do women want??A million-dollar question that is nearly as unanswerable as the which-came-first-chicken-or-egg question.

There are many people who think women want true love,someone to understand them,to achieve their dreams,etc etc,blah blah,yap yap yap.Yeah sure may be they want all those.But do you see what lies behind ALL of those??The choice to make her own decision.

And that,my friends,is what I think women really want-having the option to decide for themselves what they really want.And to be able to take that decision without being judged by others.For example-and this is just an example-if a girl leaves a guy for another guy-she is subjected to all sorts of vile adjectives-she is JUDGED by everyone.She becomes the villain(or vamp).BUT WHY?If she doesn’t love the first guy anymore and is in love with the second guy-why can’t she do what she wants without being judged?

Another example-I feel in many countries,not just ours-spinsters are looked upon with far more suspicision and contempt than bachelors.Parents are always so eager to marry off their girls.Remember Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice?And if a girl doesn’t comply with the will of the parents or the society she is subjected to emotional blackmail from her family,while being judged by the rest of the society.Here again we see-even though it’s a free and liberal society we stay in-women really do not get to choose and decide what they want.Of course I am not talking about every one.I am talking about society in general.

In a country like ours where female infanticides and honour killings are dime a dozen,sometimes the only choice women can make is to stay alive by falling in line.Maybe that’s one of the biggest reasons we are a third world country.I think it was Swami Vivekananda who said that a country cannot rise to greatness if it doesn’t respect it’s womenfolk.That’s what is needed here.If a woman is trying to make a decision they should have a choice.We need to stop judging others.

So to conclude-What others say-true love,someone who will respect them,etc,etc may vary from person to person.But this is what I really think women want.To be able to make a choice.To be able to take their own decisions.


This entry is written for the Blogadda contest What Women Want in partnership with

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Love Found

Have you ever had this feeling –you have so much to say
But words keep betraying you and you keep looking away
When your lips just wouldn’t move and convey what it feels
But then you’ve always lacked the basic communication skills
When it came to playing hardball-you were game for a fight
But your punchlines and jokes have all but dried up tonight.
You’ve given tall and clever speeches before men wise and old
And all it took to shut you up was a date with a pretty girl
You love the smallest things about her-and yet you can’t express
All you can do tonight it seems is smile and stare at her face
If only you were a sorcerer and could make this night last
But soon it will be midnight-Cinderella’s time fades fast
And as you look into her eyes it hits you from the blue-
It doesn’t matter if she knows or not so long your love is true.
You just want her to smile this smile and be this happy forever
And realizing that my friend-that was something really clever.

P.S-This is my first attempt at a love poem.Don't criticize it too harshly even if it sucks.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Right Here Write Now

I have been entrusted to write a play for the kids to enact during a function in our neighbourhood. Now don’t ask me why they chose me of all people-I guess I am the only one who would do it for free. And the guy whose play they could criticize if the audience doesn’t laugh. 8 hours from the morning and I can’t think of anything funny to write about. I don’t know if this happens with all comedy writers. I have no idea because I have never attempted to write one. I usually write dark stuff-you know-the ones which you read after your girlfriend has dumped you-or you have failed a maths test. Yeah man-I write some heavy shit-good or bad-either way it’s guaranteed to make you feel suicidal. So what do I know about writing a comedy?
Well honestly these committee people don’t care-Ha ha. COMMITTEE-remember we were told in our English classes-that is the only word with double m,double t and double e.HA HA. Funny.
Ok coming back to what I was saying-they want a comedy written and they want it now-they could have just adopted some old comedy story performed a gazillion times but no!!! They have to put this on me to humiliate me.
This is what I was thinking when my mobile started vibrating loudly. I hate the ringtone of my cell phone-But this is an old model where only one ringtone is available.I tried keeping it on vibrate mode but as I am a thick-skinned person so couldn’t feel the vibrations most of the time-made me miss my mother’s phone calls many times-She figured I was doing drugs or alcohol in the least.
So anyway this wasn’t my mother who was calling-and NO!!!unlike One Night @ Call Centre it wasn’t God either. Now here’s something I don’t understand.Why would the caller ID there show God calling???I mean if even God obtained that guy’s number(pretty tough job considering the huge database he had to sift through to obtain one loser guy’s number) then shouldn’t it just display God’s number. Anyway I have always maintained God won’t waste his balance on a loser even if he does want to talk to him.At best he would give a missed call.Or sms him if he had free sms balance.
So as I was saying-it was my best friend calling.Well technically I don’t have a best friend because I am the dark brooding kinda guy-at least I think of myself like that.I’M BATMAN!!Ok well my friend was calling to see if I would be able to accompany him and a bunch of other guys to a Hindi movie that evening.Yeah right-I don’t have anything else to do,do I?It’s not as if little kiddies are looking up to me to write them a comedy so that they can enact it.
And I just sat there staring at the Microsoft Word document-with Eminem songs playing in the background.And for the uninitiated Eminem songs aren’t exactly the best inspiration for a comedy-Let me illustrate-most Eminem love songs end with him raping or killing the girl-I mean FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!I like dark and brooding but that ain’t cool-that’s disgusting.
A little later the World Cup is about to begin-funny thing about the World Cup-It turns harmless meek Bengalis into Brazilian tigers,Argentinian animals and German lions for a month.Funny as hell to see them shouting-“AMADER BRAAAZIL JITECHHE(Our Brazil has won).
Another thing about the World Cup is that only famous countries get to play their-look at some of the teams there-Japan-famous for earthquakes and animes...Brazil-famous for Orkut hackers....England-famous for bad food and weather...South Africa-famous for racial tension and Vuvuzelas...crap India ain’t famous for anything..We can never play the World Cup.

Anyway it’s time for the World Cup.I am giving this up as a bad job.Will have to inform the C-O-M-M-I-T-T-E-E people.HA ha.Ok that’s it for now.I’ll see ya around.bye bye.

P.S.-I know the question on your mind right now-What the f***???

Saturday, June 19, 2010

An Explanation

All this cursing and dissing finally made me tired
It’s like my heart’s burning-it’s always on fire
A fire that just won’t let me stop and admire
Dissing from pop music down to teenage vampires
This stuff I write is starting to stench of frustration
It’s as if this blog is one big advert for depression
But please allow me to make use of this occasion
Please have a seat and hear me out-my explanation.
I am the same guy who once made you laugh
But for some time now I’ve been acting tough
I was trying to be someone else all this time
We all make mistakes-well this one’s mine.
But now that it’s out there-let’s move on
From now I shall respect others’ opinions.
Dissing someone just like that just ain’t cool.
People who love that are exceptions not rules.

I am fucking around you fools-are you for real??
Fuck what others think-I am gonna write what I feel
You must be nuts if for a sec you believed that crap
Hell man..I just needed a buncha lines for my rap

Ha Batman would say...Gotcha!!!!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Regrets and Misconceptions

I once knew a pretty young girl
She loved me more than life
But when I started loving her back
She was someone else’s wife.

I once had a nightmare
A nightmare I always feared
But when that nightmare came true
All my fears disappeared.

I once used to laugh
And scorned those who cried
But nowadays only crying
It seems can get me high

I once had a vision
A passion as strong as fire
But when the vision was realized
I wasn’t there to admire.

I once used to think
I am right and they are wrong
And when I came to my senses
They were long gone.

Monday, May 24, 2010

One Day

One day

One day I shall lay down the arms

And stop fighting for a lost cause

One day I shall stop self-destructing

And perhaps shall condemn my sins

One day I shall a spare a thought

for the people I hurt,for the broken hearts

One day I shall reconnect with reality

And fall back on this barren earth

One day I shall wake up from my nightmares

And surround myself with worldly fears

One day I will regret my actions of today

One day I will shed a drop of tear.

But not today-

Today I chase my heart’s desire.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Virtually Real

Nowadays when I look around I see how the internet has become an intrinsic part of our lives.Previously people had friends.We had the television.Now we have the internet.Sample these:

1.Previously we had sessions of gossip over the telephones and in the neighbourhood roadside stalls.Now we have sessions of debating on different forums and chatting via the different chat programs.

2.There was a time when socialising meant going out with people.Going to parties or on outings,meeting new people making friends.For our generation of young adudlts socialising mainly means Facebook,Myspace,Orkut etc.

3.”So how did you guys first meet?” previously at this question the blushing couple would look coyly at each other and then state how they first met at a party or some festival or some ceremony.Nowadays most people meet in these goddamn social networking sites.”We met on Facebook!”Damn it!!Whatever happened to good old school romance and discreet courting?

4.Our parents get their dose of news and happenings around the world from the newspapers and the News channels.Most of us get our daily share of news from Google,Yahoo,the different news sites or as is the latest fad Twitter.

5.Old school friends or acquaintances you haven’t had the chance to meet in a while keep in touch via the internet.

So you see-for many of us,our lives are virtually dependent on the internet.How about that huh?Terminator 5 the rise of the internet!!!

So the next question is-Is this a good thing or a bad thing?Unfortunately the answer isn’t that easy.Like every phenomenon of recent times-Internet to has it’s good sides and it’s bad sides.It’s like nuclear energy.You can use it whichever way you want to.

Let’s discuss some of the perceived ill-effects of the Internet:

1.It exposes young children to certain things beyond their age.Out of natural curiousity they take in these things which often tend to have a bad impact on their growing years and leads to a lot of adolescent rage.

2.Cyber crime rates have increased so much.These crimes are directly the result of the widespread acceptance of the internet.Rather the dependence on Internet.

And now what are the good effects?Basically there are a lot of uses of the internet-however to name a few:

1.We can meet people of different countries and different parts of the world through the net.We come to know of various cultures and different ways of life of people through here.

2.We get to meet a lot of like-minded people who share the same interests and the same views as us.

3.Sites like Wikipedia are a huge database of information and helps enrich our knowledge about various noteworthy events of this world.

4.The internet has become a source of jobs for many people .

So we see that the benefits of the virtual world far outweigh the ill-effects.It’s not a bad thing to be addicted to the net as long as you are using it constructively.So I guess in the end we can definitely say-LONG LIVE THE INTERNET!!!


Sunday, May 02, 2010

The Winds of Hate

I know there will never ever be someone like me again
Or maybe there will be someone,someone who will offend
All you straight-laced straight-faced strait-jacketed individuals.
Whose biggest and only fears in life are freaks and homosexuals.
A population so obsessed,obscenely fixated with striking gold
Every word you speak,every letter makes my heart grow cold
Colder than ice,I have grown immune to your charms and guile
Coz every time you smile at me,I am afraid your smile might kill.
I stand separated from y'all as you surge ahead past me in life-
I dont wanna die of self-pity,I would rather be killed by a knife
But pray tell me this,coz I simply fail to grasp your mentality
Why do you keep asking me to stay grounded to reality?
I'm no bird-I don't wanna fly-But I dont wanna always conform
I wont live by the rules you made-Abide all your social norms
All I ever asked for was not being forced to do what I hate
And still be able to live my life and not meet with Galileo's fate
People think I'm crazy,I'm nuts but that's only a point of view
Like from where I stand cows and goats look better than you
So this is how it is-you hate me and I cant stand the sight of you
So for now I am gonna leave you in peace-time to bid adieu
But don't relax,be alert-Like Arnie said-"I'll be back"
Sit tight pals,It mightn't be long before I launch my next attack.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A New War

I have never been a winner
Will always be a sinner
Will never be able to undo my crimes
Just another guy
To make people cry
Another life not worth a dime

The days aren't to blame
The nights aren't the same
Every night a new war is lost
The fight seems in vain
The heart fills with pain
Another soul this war has cost

The light has faded
The earth seems jaded
People have resigned to fate
But a sword shines bright
Approaches a knight
Filled with murderous hate

Only his righteous anger
Can rattle these rusty armours
Onwards he leads us on into the fight
'Coz though am no winner
Am no saint,just a sinner
This time will battle with all my might.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Death's Dark Knight

Every night when the world's asleep
Every night when spurned lovers weep
My hero stands revealed to the world
My hero shines bright as gold

Darkness makes him pure as a sage
Fills him up with strength and rage
Strength to move mountains with hands
Rage to create dark magic sans wands

My hero alone fights the good fight
Stands alone against evil's might
Battered and bruised in battle he fell
Death of a knight,a true rebel

He breathed his last in the middle of nowhere
Unknown to the ones who love and care
He has long escaped heroism's allure. friends.lies his true valour.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

What Happened To Us?

A star-spangled sky,a gentle breeze
That's all your imprisoned dreamer needs
To release him from his world of pains
Bound by reality's rusty chains

The childhood days seem another life
Simpler people and simpler times
Dreams were then the order of the day
Black and white ruled,nothing was grey.

This world is filled with lies and hate
Spite and jealousy rules our fate
Love is just the foreplay for lust
Somewhere we have forgotten trust.

But the dreamer still lives on in us.
Even as we carry this age's curse.
Cursed not to love the sky,the trees.
The star-spangled sky,the gentle breeze.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Nightwing R.I.P

I am tired of all the games
The hurt caused by old flames

I am tired of all the pain
Felt when your best goes in vain

I am tired of all the noise
Can't hear my own voice

I am tired of all the masks
And the questions they ask

I am tired of all the reprimands
And fulfilling all demands

I am tired of expectations
Also statements and declarations

I am tired of being left out
My heart being filled with doubt

I am tired of being alone
Always living in my own zone

I am tired of all the tears
Matured beyond my years.

I am tired of making these rhyme
And just wasting my time.

So adieu my friends
this is where it all ends.

Nightwing's time has come
Fare thee well me chums.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tears and Smiles

Tears and smiles all around
Parading the authenticity of emotions

Tears and smiles buried deep
Under the weight of pre-conceived notions

Silence and eyes full of pain

Leave a wound burnt more deep
Deeper than a thousand hateful words
Shouted by a voice choked with rage

Life isn't as good as you hear

From celebrities and evangelists
But life ain't that bad either see
As made out by Metallica wannabes

Sorry may be the hardest word

But harder it is to forgive past faults
Moving on isn't as easy as it seems
Once you possess some shattered dreams

A new day is another shot

Another chance to start anew
Try not to throw it away this once
Like you have done all your life.

Don't worry dudes and dude are gonna be fine....

Monday, March 08, 2010

Times and Life

Nowadays all around we hear this-This country sucks..It's going to the dogs.You don't have to look far.Look around you and you will find a lot of people complaining about how this country is morally corrupt,culturally vacant,financially bankrupt.In short an absolute hell-hole of a place for people to live.Don't worry!!I am not like those BJP dudes or the fellas who work for Shivsena.I am not here to defend them.Because mostly people are right.

But yes-I want to make a stand.I think this country has a lot of problems too.And those who know me will tell you that I have no great allegience towards my country.But I guess that's just it-You can't live in a country like India without falling in love with it.

I will bring forth the main complaints against our country and make my stand:

1.Corrupt Politicians-People are always going on about how the politicians are destroying the country.All of them are corrupt.they aren't concerned with our needs-They just care for their power.Yes it's true to some extent.There are many politicians in the country,who,judging from the reports abuse their power-But I refuse to accept the fact that all politicians are like that.There are many who care for the people-This is not a poor regional movie where the government is run by corrupt baddies.This is the real world occupied by real people.If they are unable to provide us with better than this then that's because this is the best they can do.You can change governments after 5 years but you have to remember that governments are run by politicians not magicians.Their hands are also bound by finances,limited infrastructure and many other factors.Spare a thought for them.

2.All sports other than cricket being neglected-For the people who think like that,this is what I have to say-Only in cricket has India achieved so many accomplishments.Cricket was also like all other games at one time.But due to some able administrators and great cricketets have this game been able to achieve this status.There was a time when hockey and football were equally revered in India.First let the football team qualify for the World Cup.And let the hockey team NOT get thrashed in every game at phir dil denge hockey-ko.

3.Trashing the system-Nowadays courtsey You-know-who trashing the system has become fashionable.Our education system sucks,our law enforcement system sucks,our political systems suck.If you fail at what you do blame the system!!!To those people who think the system is flawed I have this to say-Many many people,better and much more talented than us have risen through the same system and succeeded in life.For not one or two years,for many years now.Yeah sure the system is flawed.But you get a perfect system only in Utopia.In every country the system has some flaws.That's the way life is.Nothing is perfect.We have to adjust and make do with whatever we have.

4.Twitter-Celeb Bashing-Well this is for the self-professed intellectuals.I read a blog post couple of days back where some dude has trashed celebrities and what they do on twitter.He proved point by point how every celeb is a dumb-ass and he is a perfectly rational sensible intelligent person.AB jr was bashed because he loves to praise his father and is obsessed with music.Roshan Jr was bashed because he is a workaholic.Of course praising your father,being obsessed with music and being a workaholic are dumb things that no rational sensible perfectly intelligent person will ever do.Shah Rukh and KJo were bashed just like that.And Priyanka Chopra was bashed because she mistyped 'moan' instead of mourn.HELLO...YOU EVER HEARD OF A TYPO?To all those people I want to say if you don't like them-don't read 'em.Simple as that.Don't be so hypocritic as to secretly follow them and then insult them pretending to be an intellectual.No one is perfect.Not them not you,so give it a rest!

5.Teleserial bashing-Ok..most of you people are well educated-have been exposed to western culture and in general your tastes don't match with these teleserials filled with melodrama,conspiracies,etc.But pause for a second and think-That not many in the country has gotten that chance.They feel happy watching something they can relate to.Something to look forward to after long hard days of work.The Saas-Bahu dramas and shows may look and feel extremely cheap to you but many others enjoy them.So stop bashing them.Don't like them then don't watch them.

Some time back I watched a movie called Zombieland.There was a dialogue there-'Enjoy the little things in life'.This line stuck in my mind.Life is too small for nitpicking and being uptight.You have to let your hair down,relax a little.No one's gonna think any less of you if you enjoy those things which your "standard" and "status" doesn't allow you to.This life is too short to be wasted on judging everything and passing an opinion.There,what started off as an article to defend some accusations against my country had turned into a life advice article.But what the hell,chuck it!!!Like I said,who cares?It's not the end of the world is it??

Sunday, February 28, 2010


People are present all around us
Some we hate,some we love

Some are crazy,some are gay
Some people just won't go away

Some people make you laugh all night
Some are always in the mood for a fight

Some bring you joy when you are down
Some just love to act the clown

Some of 'em are awful poets like me
Some bore others with idiosyncrasies

Some just love to hate every damn thing
Often the only thing they love is wrestling

Some only have a ton of virtual friends
facebook,myspace and tweeting new trends

Some people's smiles don't reach their eyes
Some are pretty stupid but think they are wise

Some are just bitter and cynical of life
Mostly coz there's no one to give 'em high five

Some people are alone-really lonely
the predominant word in their life is only

Some just dont know when to say what
Wrong thing at the wrong time,ouch!!spare a thought!!!

Some are extremists-a little more than others
But they shouldn't be cast away-they are our brothers.

Some are hopeless romantics-always in pain
Mostly they are doped and slashing their veins

Some are very sensitive-easily offended
Some think they are smart,but really are brain-dead.

Some are quite juvenile but claim they are mature
Some are called geeks and freaks of nature

But no matter how they are we rememember them all
We need to cherish them,stop being judgemental.

The last couple of lines felt like torture
Hope it didn't leave any permanent scar.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

People We Know

The Universal I
Speaking for us
About People like me
And People we know

People think I am
A materialistic capitalist
An unrealistic communist
A parody of a maverick
A forgotten limerick
A sorry punchline
A succulent grapevine
A hard-luck tragedy
Without a remedy
A self-indulgent intellectual
A rebel ineffectual

I take this chance
To state where I stand
To clear the air
and say what's fair
Because ever since birth
Have often gone unheard

I am not alone
I am all of us
People like me
People we know
And they are me

We are the challengers
To this society of pretenders
Our caustic comments
Cause a lot of torment
We hit out
and get beat down
We say what we know
We cant stand the fact
That people let it go

We are not new age heroes
We just want to make a difference
We have been mute for centuries
Time for us to mount an offense
We lose battles everyday
Perhaps small ones
Failing to live upto expectations
Perhaps grander ones
Failing to mend broken relations
But what we never lose
Is our hope
That maybe tomorrow
Tomorrow will be a better day
The sun will shine on me
and bask me in it's glory
Tomorrow those lost battles
The smaller ones and the grander ones
Will be a bad nightmare.
A forgotten memory
lost in the chasms of our minds.
Tomorrow we will claim
What we have fought for all along
That is why even though we lose the battles
We keep fighting the war

And that is who I really am
A glimpse of hope in the darkest nights
A lost cause
A never-ending struggle

That is who we are
for I am everybody
People like us
People we know.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's Just In My Mind

I am busy taking potshots
bringing down hotshots
It's Valentine's day
Singles trying to make hay
but that ain't my goal
not the way that i roll
I am thinking billionaires
Wonder how they got there!!
Sonofaguns stole my tricks
dealt me a couple kicks
All of that is bullshit
I'm just a deadbeat
All around see black ops
shooting down 'em rogue cops
Hallucinating countrymen
always ask where and when
Inequalities equated
Devil's actions advocated
Opinionated egosters
Overrated superstars.

Punch drunk love
Over and above
Attack of the clones
Shattered several bones
Intellectual debates
Post New Year rebates
Once upon a time
Lived superman-prime
damned if you try
to relate all the lines
Anything can be proved
trashed and removed.

All the little animals got screwed
Life is just as it is viewed
Paranoia claimed my soul
Superbad makes me feel old
Back where I started it seems
Nightwing has lost all his dreams
The end of the beginning has began
It's game over for jokes and fun.
Time to end this fiasco of a song.
Close your eyes poof!!and I am gone.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Point of View

Well....just sharing certain interesting observations I have made recently...I mean they seem pretty uninteresting to you...but I found them mildly interesting...

1.As all of you know there's a site called twitter where people share their thoughts,activities etc...But nowadays it's getting a bit too this..

8.30 am-Eating breakfast
9.00 am-Breakfast finished
9.10 am-wearing a shirt
9.20 am-Wearing a a pant now

I dont think this is exactly what the creators of the site had in mind.....I guess we are lucky guys arent posting the color of their underwears yet....

2.I wish I was living in the wild know..having a beer with Clint Eastwood or John Wayne....riding with Jimmy Stewart.. nobody to bother me...but noooo!!!I am here in the 21st century where some dude interrupts me while I am watching a most engaging scene in The Big Lebowski to complain and whine about how the girl who dumped him 3 years ago suddenly came to his thoughts now and is making him feel suicidal; are making ME feel suicidal...I didn't dump you did I??then why inflict this punishment on me??By the way did it ever occur to you that she could have dumped you coz you are a pathetic loser??just a thought....

3.I seem to miss out on everything...I mean...when I was in school...they gave out those cool looking badges when we were in the last year....when I am in college our library becomes digital and talks of a canteen being opened surface when I am in the last semester of third year....Even when I used to ride buses they looked like someone had chewed 'em up and spit 'em out...but now since I have stopped riding them...they are all brand new and foreign looking...I bet if I leave Kolkata..It would become the next Las Vegas and y'all would own 3 casinos each....

4.Nowadays we hear a lot about how people hate Shiv Sena.....They are like the ultimate villains of the country....They are the hindi movies corrupt politicians we used to hate as kids...Now we are venting our anger against them for being insufferable pricks....I think those fellas are just angry....they need to relax...slow down a little...spend time with friends...laugh and joke...or else if they continue like this Sunny Deol and Mithun Chakravarty are gonna beat the shit outta they did in those movies....

5.This time of the year....there are a lot of weddings going on...and nice people who never harmed anyone in their lives,,,,get married because they have a whole lot of dreams..although I will be damned if I understand what's so dreamy about being a family man and having a hundred thousand respomsibilites??and spending your money on your kids...those nasty little brats...but do people EVER warn them during their weddings???NO!!!they laugh and stand and celebrate.-'HA HA...LET SOMEONE ELSE SUFFER TOO WHAT I AM SUFFERING'....the food's good though.....

6.Nowadays I hardly sleep before 4 am...even though I am really tired and havent slept all day....My mom said my biological clock has been altered....I hope it's not insomnia....then I would have to go to all those support groups and open a fight club,,,,and have an imaginary alter-ego who is gonna fuck me up is that a good thing or a bad thing?

7.Artists these days have such weirdass names..Lady Gaga..what the hell kind of a name is that???Sounds like some old duchess crossed with an african witch....and what's with this Gaga fan and taylor swift fans warring all the time...i mean..COME ON...both are now gonna argue about who sucks more???It's worse thah Shah Rukh and Aamir fans arguing about you who looks more know..they can win the gay icon of the year award..which is the only one they havent won yet.....

8.The reality shows these days are so cheap and reflect the cultural degeneration of the nation in general....the girls look like bimbos...the guys like pornstars..with pumped up bodies...moan and bitch about each other all the time...I have tried to figure out what they actually need to do to win the,,..ah well..i guess whoever bitches the best wins...and what's surprising is they keep garnering such huge TRPs.....

well...those are about share your know..if you want to..

Monday, February 01, 2010


I Never wanted you all to condone my actions
Never asked the other guy to follow my lead
Even if one day I am laid down in traction
I will never force you to support my deeds
Because I know I am not the greatest hero on earth
Won't be greeted with cheers as I walk down the ramp
Things have always been like this ever since rebirth
I have always been considered a no good tramp.
But I've never allowed opinions to slow me down
As I scourge everything and everyone in sight;
I've never thought about running from town
Because some people bark worse than they bite.
I made a lot of mistakes,I am human after all
Fucked things up badly quite a few times
But I never cut a deal,never played ball
I always...always tried to pay up for my crimes.
At the end of the day,I am just like you
Win some,lose some the rest are drawn
But hey perfect people are far and few
Well I guess we will be here even at dawn.
Looks like we are the only ones we have
So why dont we just try to get along?
Fuck it!That would make life boring
And I wont be able to write anymore songs
So you dont have to agree with me
And I dont have to pander to you.
We can be poles apart and still co-exist
Just show a li'l bit of respect for my views.
And that's all I have to say for now
Everything's happy and gay for now
Hope I've not bitten off more than I can chew,
Anyways,that's all!!Good Night and fuck you.

Just some respect...that's all I want...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Face to Face

They put him in a 6 feet by 6 feet cell.It was good riddance they thought.He would now rot in there for all eternity.And they couldn't think of anyone who deserved it more.He was one of the worst criminals...and an even worse human being if that was possible.No one shed a drop when the judge announced the verdict of life sentence.No one deserved it more richly than him.

He sat in the court day after day and heard all the allegations they brought.He was an underworld gangster.He had killed hundreds of thousands of people.He had built an empire on all sorts of illegal businesses.Everyone testfied against him.All of his closest aides cut a deal with the police.They gave him up to save their asses.They hung him out in the open.

But he didnt speak a word.Didnt for even once open his mouth to refute any of the charges.His lawyers tried their hardest.But it really was an open and shut case.There never was a doubt from the beginning.

And thus they put him away.And everyone thought that was that.Justice was served.


It was a busy day in the News Kolkata office like usual.It was busier than usual.Because today was a huge day.News Kolkata has acquired the exclusive rights of an interview with former gangster and underworld don Viktor Fernandez.Six years ago Fernandez was convicted on 37 counts and sentenced to lifetime improsinment.And now News Kolkata had acquired the rights to an interview with the man who didn't defend himself during his trial.

The chief architect of this triumph was senior journalist Arjun Sengupta.Arjun has always had a great vision.He knew a great story when he saw it.And when he was covering Fernandez's trial six years earlier he thought what a great story it would be to bring out the personal life of the dreaded mafia.The man convicted of 77 known murders.And now after six years of fight he had been able to acquire the permissions from all concerned authorities for an interview with Viktor Fernandez.He had actually wanted the live interview to be telecast on News Kolkata's channel.But in the end he had to settle for an interview for the newspapers.Even that was quite an achievement Arjun thought as he boarded his car to set out for Alipore Jail.This was going to be his day,his moment.All great journalists have their defining stories...and this was gonna be his.

He had it all worked out.All the questions framed after much chopping and changing over six years.Yes he was going to be famous.As famous as he dreamt of being when he started this job.His rise in the profession has been meteoric.And this was going to seal that.

As he entered the cell Arjun felt kind of nervous.Seated in a chair was Viktor fernadez.His hands and feet were fettered,And there were 10 armed policeman standing around.What the hell,thought Arjun,he is a gangster not a fucking psycho.

'Gentlemen if you would be kind enough to step outside...then I can begin my interview...' said Arjun to the guards.

'Sir,we are here for your safety...he is one dangerous son of a bitch' said one of them.The others nodded in agreement.

'He is all tied up at the moment...stay outside fellas....I will give a shout if he tries anything..He isn't exactly Dr Hannibal Lecter is he' laughed Arjun.

'Who is this doctor?He is a gangster...Viktor Fernandez' declared one of the guards emphatically.

'It was a joke...never mind...just give me some privacy ok??I will be all right..'said Arjun.

The men hesitated for some time-then slowly filtered out.'Please close the door..I am not saying lock it..just pull it please' asked Arjun.

Finally everything was ready and he was sitting down in the most important assignment of his career.Face to face with one of the most dreaded criminals of the country,the Goanese Viktor Fernandez.

Viktor looked much thinner than when he was last seen during the trials.However aside from that and a patch of grey hairs on the sides of his face he looked no different.

Arjun spoke first-'I guess you are wondering who am I?Well I am a journalist....I believe your story need to be told to the world...During your trial you maintained silence...Now you should tell people your side-'

'Save the bullshit brother' cut him off Viktor....a faint smile on his face..'You dont give a shit about me pal...It's all about a are gonna beat the shit out of your competition with this story...In my days,I had people in the press you know....I know all you fucking hypocrites down to your bone marrows'

The room was pin-drop silent for a couple of seconds.Then Arjun spoke again.

'Let's get down to the questions.Did you really do what you were accused of doing?' asked Arjun.

Viktor was looking at his feet.After a short pause he looked up at Arjun,a trace of the faintest smile his face-'Yes...and then some.'

'What led you into of criminal activities??Some childhood trauma??Abusive parents??Bullied at school???WHAT???'Arjun was slowly getting into his stride.

'You know my background perfectly well.But still I will say this for the tape recorders.No...I did not have any troubles in my childhood...I did not face any abuse....I had a great family,the best education everything.'

'Wow...' said Arjun sarcastically 'You're really gonna get some sympathy you know that??Had everything...but no,it wasn't enough!!!NOT FOR YOU!!!You wanted matter how many innocent lives you had to waste!!!'

'Innocent???Who is innocent???The people I killed were all drug dealers..or fucking pimps or rival gangsters....THE WORLD IS NO MORE POORER FOR THOSE BASTARDS!!!;' shouted Viktor.



'You have an answer for everything don't you??Nothing was your fault was it??you have NOT ONE morsel of remorse for your wrong doings!!!'declared Arjun emphatically.

'Do you have any regrets for your wrong doings??' demanded Viktor.

'Me?what have I done???When did I murder anyone???when did I kidnap people??'

'No you haven't murdered anyone.But you stick your goddamn mic in the face of the relatives of the victim.No you haven't kidnapped anyone.You have simply made them your news item.Isn't that correct??' Viktor was actually smiling.

'The duty of the media is to dig out the truth and report it to the people.That's what we do' said Arjun.

'No...that's not what you show people things as YOU view them...NOT AS IT HAPPENED...YOU ARE AS GUILTY AS US.But you know what's the difference between you and me???You stand there smug in your imaginary world of importance.Not knowing that you are just a fucking medium.At least I was king for 15 minutes.I would rather be that and spend the rest of my life here in the jail than be like you.A SCHMUCK FOR A LIFETIME.'

'Why you two-bit punk-'Arjun lunged at Viktor.The guards burst in the room and dragged him out.

'What the fuck were you doing?Are you out of your mind?'asked the senior officer present.

'I was wrong about him.He really is Hannibal Lecter' replied Arjun breathing heavily.

'I dont know what the hell that means...but I know one thing-THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.Get your ass out of here' replied the Inspector.

As Arjun drove back towards his office he reflected on the day.The day he thought would make his career had gone astray.He had come out empty-handed.He didn't have enough substance for a story.But that wasn't bothering him...what was bothering him was Viktor's words.Was it true??Was he really a schmuck for a lifetime??Was he??

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Kolkata Tale

Act 1
It was yet another Saraswati Puja.This day was always hard for him.Brought back a lot of painful memories.Since that year,every year he hopes the day would pass quickly and he would not notice it.But cruel as the days are they always took 24 hours to pass.Bringing back yet again those memories.They cut through his mind like broken shards of a mirror.
There wasn't any reason it would be any different this year.But what he hadn't anticipated was that this day could go worse.He was woken up by his phone vibrating loudly.He reached out from underneath his quilt and grabbed it-
'Wow up already you lazy bugger??I called you 5 times since the morning!!!'-said a voice he hadn't heard in 2 years.
'Aniket???" He asked his heart pounding.He was now wide awake.
'Oh so you remember??I feel really honoured man!!!You are such a big shot these days....I was afraid you wouldn't remember an old college friend' laughed Aniket from the other side.
'Wow!! I dont believe it dude...It's really you!!!!' he cried.
'Now now...don't wet yourself in got any plans for today??' asked Aniket
'Well,I...' he was actually thinking of spending the day by himself...
'Ok Ok...I understand...I was thinking maybe we could go know...go someplace...catch up on the old times...but if you are busy....' his voice trailed off.
'I dont believe you call me up on the morning of a holiday to make plans....but hey,you know what...I am an impulsive guy...YOU'RE ON!!!!' .
'Now we're you at Pacific Blue at 2 in the' asked Aniket.
'Cool....see you...bye for now'

Act 2

He was standing inside one of the Pacific Blue bathrooms-trying to figure out how things got like him this afternoon.When he left his house today he had thought that this would be a quiet afternoon with his best friend in college..catching up on the old times.Maybe it would take his mind off the depressing memories associated with the day.But things haven't gone to his expectations and now he was stuck in this bathroom.

At exactly five minutes to 2 he had parked his car in the parking lot of Pacific Blue.When he entered,he saw Aniket was already there.He had thought that the place would be quite full with today being a festival but it wasnt.As he sat down he noticed Aniket looked the same as he looked in college.Aniket was a stud in those days.A handsome guy who used to make girls go weak in their knees.

'Let's order first shall we?' asked Aniket as he motioned a waiter to their table.

'Yeah ok,,,' he replied.

'I will have a Chicken Enchilada Casserole' said Aniket.

'Same for me too'

'So big guy,how is life?'asked Aniket.Aniket had this habit of calling him big guy because of his larger than normal stature.

'LIfe is fine...although pretty boring at the about you?'

'Hey...couldn't be better man.....I got a promotion at job....and there's this,is she is a kisser or what?'

'Still think you are a casanova eh??Give it up dude...the girls only feel pity on you...'

'Yeah well...jealous people tend to demean other's credentials...Hey Kabir!!!' Aniket suddenly shouted.

He turned his head towards where Aniket shouted and saw a suave-looking guy in tux and a girl beside him.His heart nearly stopped the next second as he realized it was Raya..Aniket didn't seem to be perturbed.He then realized Aniket didn't know Raya.He had heard about her but didn't know her.

The guy Kabir and Raya reached their table.Aniket began the introudctions-'Kabir this is Amit.Amit this is my colleague Kabir and his girlfriend Raya.'

Kabir smiled and extended his hand.Amit shook it.'Nice to meet you.'

Everyone smiled awkwardly for a moment.then Kabir spok-'Well...I guess we will be seeing you then...'

'Yeah...well...bye...'smiled Aniket.

As they moved away Amit and Aniket sat down.The waiter came and kept placed their food on the table.They started eating.But Amit was hardly in a mental state to eat.He never knew chicken enchilada casserole could feel so tasteless.He had then excused himself and came to the restroom.As he stood before the mirror all the memories came flooding back.

Act 3

Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of lonely street
at Heartbreak Hotel.

You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.

-Elvis Presley 'Heartbreak Hotel'

Amit and Raya has were first introduced by a common friend in their last year of high school.A month after that Amit had proposed and Raya said yes to him.After that their two-year long relationship saw some up and downs but it was in their second year in college on Saraswati Puja day that things finally broke down.

On that day Amit and Raya were supposed to go on an outing.But the previous day,the couple has had a huge fight and they weren't on speaking terms that day.Amit was pretty angry and had gone out with a group of friends.He had decided to let things cool down a little before talking to Raya again.

But fate had other plans for him.As he and his friends were sitting down for lunch in a South Kolkata restaraunt,one of his friends said-'Isn't that Raya?'

Amit quickly looked up and saw Raya sitting at a table some way in front with a boy whom Amit didn't know laughing and joking.

The blood rushed to Amit's head.He went to there table and shouted at her calling her a lot of foul names before storming out of there.He swore never to see her again.

But love is a very unpredictable emotion.When Raya called him in the evening he couldn't help receive the call.

'Congratulations' said Raya in an icy voice. 'I was having a huge guilt feeling for leaving you.But today you proved how right I am.'


Raya cut him off-'And I loved you but you aren't worth it.You don't have any respect for anyone.You don't know how to behave with ladies.It's over.Goodbye'

And with that Raya cut the line.Amit sat there motionless for quite some time.

After that day 5 years had gone but the cupid did not visit Amit again.He felt he still hadn't let go of Raya.And today's chance encounter only accentuated this feeling..

Act 4

After 20 minutes he returned to his seat.

' could have told me about your stomach infection.We could have ordered Crocin instead.' quipped Aniket.

'Maybe we could live without the wisecracks??and Crocin isn't for stomach problems you ignorant oaf' said Amit.

'Of course you would know a lot about that wouldn't you?' laughed Aniket.

'Let's get out of here' said Amit.

They left the restaraunt 5 minutes later.The encounter with Raya left him shook.But he trusted Aniket's quips and poor jokes to cheer him up.Maybe they could go to his home and chill over a pack of beers.What a depressing life it would be without friends.he thought.Maybe he should try socialising a little more instead of going into the shell.

The story might appear stupid to you.It may appear pointless to you.But this story does not try to tell an universal story for all ages.This is just another Kolkata tale.Nothing more.Nothing less.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Still...We Are Friends

I might appear to you quite rude
Actually I am obsessed with solitude
People are complicated sensitive beings
If I talk,I might end up hurtin' feelings
And I can do without your tears
Making you cry-my biggest fear
You're not to blame-It's my fault
I am just an imbecile dimwitted dolt
That's why I stay away from you all
Dont respond to any of your calls
Make some excuse,get out of town
Am really tired of playing the clown

See I possess this 'Holier than thou' attitude
That justifiably pisses off all the other dudes
They make me out to be a villain
All bragging and talking,no feelings
I admit to all that.but please spare a minute
Lemme tell you my side of the story-what's in it.
See I am just a weary guy cynical of the world
Seen so much,I hardly feel twenty years old
But I dont want to keep wallowing in self -pity
After a time,I can tell you-this stuff ain't pretty
So what I do is keep trying to mask this all up.
Maybe be the centre of the storm in a tea-cup
That way I can come out,all my guns blazing
No tiredness,nothing-just acting plain crazy
But Nuff' said!!!II am tired of talking
The walls of nonchalance are cracking
Next time I see you maybe I will smile
Make small talk,like normal guys-keep a low proflie.
Maybe we will sit down have coffee and chat
You can tell me,how I have gotten grumpy and fat
And I will tell all the stupid poor jokes I know
Then talk about this and that,just go with the flow.

We laugh together,we cry together
Sometimes we fight,but we love each other.
That's why they say friends are forever.

Yep...I love you all...