Wednesday, September 30, 2009

20TH OCTOBER 2017

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen.I am your news host for now and let’s have a look at the top news stories today-


~Wipro has threatened to leave India after the Eden Gardens incident in which some angry tollygunge agragami supporters burnt down Eden Gardens after a cricket field brawl,ensuing from a dubious no-ball call,blew out of proportions.This is the third cricket-ground vandalism incident of the year.Although experts are at a loss how this would possibly effect wipro.I,my friends am at a loss thinking who these experts are.I saw a guy who used to pass the exams cheating in college being addressed as an expert


~After successfully having banned MTV,Channel V,Zoom,AXN,FTV among others the Shiv Sena party today urged the government to ban the sports channel Ten Sports as they felt the skirts worn by the female hockey players in hockey matches shown by the channel are indecent.On similar grounds they have also called for a ban on ESPN and Star Sports with respect to female tennis players.


~In a bid to cement their reputation as a secular party the Indian National Congress today passed a bill making Din-e-Elahi the national religion of Inida.
In related news ,members of the BJP today burned effigies of Superman and Batman showing their disapproval for what they term as the gay leanings of these American superheroes.A top BJP leader today stated that it was obvious that any male person who wore underwears on the outside was obviously gay.


Entertainement News:

~Sanjay Leela Bhansali today announced his next movie-Pink.Bhansali had previously made movies on six different colours most of which bombed-both commercially and critically.Undeterred,Bhansali is making his next movie which have a feministic theme and is about two college girls who will be played by Ranbir Kapoor and Aamir Khan.


~Himesh Reshammiya today quashed all rumours about dating Rakhi Sawant.In an impassioned statement the actor stated that his present situation was very frustrating but not even that frustrating.He also announced that he would be soon having a plastic surgery done and hopes to do a Michael Jackson.


~Meanwhile Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham-who now rival the popularity of the SRK-Kajol pair are returning together again for their next movie-Dostana-se thoda zyada-In this movie Abhishek and John play a happily married gay couple whose lives are rocked by the arrival of a sexy stranger played by Hrithik Roshan.This is the 7th time they play a gay couple.Their last film together was Paap Punyam in which they played a star-crossed couple during the vedic ages.


~Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today adopted their 32nd baby from a Chinese family.Pitt said that their aim was to reach 50 by 2020.
~In other news,Johnny Depp was arrested for the murder of 5 people in New York.Depp,known for his method acting,said he was preparing for his role as a serial killer in an upcoming movie.


Sports News:

~Sachin Tendulkar confirmed he will be playing for India in the next World Cup.


~Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger was sacked today after Arsenal’s 11th trophyless season.Wenger was almost immediately appointed the coach of the French national team.Wenger said it was like a homecoming for him.


~Cristiano Ronaldo today retired from football after 8 years with Real Madrid.When asked what were his plans for the future,Ronaldo replied that he was looking forward to opening a strip bar in his own house as he found it cumbersome to travel..


~The Sourav Ganguly coached Kolkata Knight Riders today suffered their 8th defeat of the season.Surprisingly all of these were by a single run.Owner Shah Rukh Khan said he had already sent an sms to each player to cheer them up.Cricket experts in Bengal however unanimously concurred that this was a clear conspiracy to end Sourav’s career as coach.

That’s the news from now.Thank you and good night.

7 comments:

adidas said...

hilarious.
thanx for making us laugh...
dostana- se thoda jyada was awesome.

Soumya said...

Awesum...great post!!..Altho the idea is not new but the execution was superb! Specially the punch lines!! ohh..well I got a new feather to add...

2017: Famous author cum poet anish dutta and Mr........ got divorsed finally on the ground that Mr...... did't like anish's new clothing style of wearing underwear over pant which the later thought to be trendy for gays!! :P

Waiting to read a part 2 of this article!!

eddie said...

exclusive man..... simply superb... but cudnt agree wd d last part... if a conspiracy is dere... not only the d d whole bengal, but also d whole country stands behind dada... but is oderwse nice......

Samadrita said...

ROFLMAO. I'm still laughing.
Dostana se thoda zyada...Hrithik Roshan as the sexy stranger who disrupts their happily married life.
*doubles up with laughter*

Goodness you deserve another award Anish. :D

Guria said...

Hey, you have a tag or two over at MM, check 'em out, and do them if you want. :)

Smoke, weed, novels and maths said...

awesome taglines re.
nicely done- :D
3 cheers and yeah i expect a 2nd part of this post....

S.Ganesh Kumar said...

Really funny!:D:P:lol: