Random thoughts on way to college

All right,exams coming up…what am I gonna do…cant get in even one hour every day….why is that guy blowing the horn so many times…cant he see the traffic jam???What’s his problem?Oh god,this is really crazy…the exam begins in 10 minutes and I am still in ballygunge….man,I feel so sleepy…should stop watching movies till such late night….if I am awake,I gotta study….i wonder if the internet will be up and working by the time I get back….people blocking the road….damn,it had to be today of all days…but 48 hours without electricity…these people ought to be damn angry…seems like they are….there,had to get down and now….walkie,walkie,walkie……la la….when the music stops….la la…damn it!!that song’s been playing in my head all morning….how the hell am I supposed to remember the circuits,if there are so many distractions???one missed call??must have missed it because of all the noise….rony??why would he call me???oh I almost forgot…today is man u’s match with barca…and he wants to brag…barca…that reminds me…nearly forgot…I gotta return supratim’s copy tomorrow…or he’s gonna kill me….DAMN IT!!!how’s a guy supposed to walk with all these puddles around???Bloody KMC…don’t do any work and expect to get votes….nearly twisted my ankle there…whoa!!check her out!!!too bad she’s with a boy…all the girls seem to be taken these days….hey,I could have sworn she was looking at me….man,am I cool or am I COOL??yeah yeah…keep dreaming Anish baby….no harm in dreaming….HEY!!watch it you sonova-…..you nearly drove into me…bloody punks…thinks their father owns the road…man my legs are starting to cramp from all the walking…..lactic acid…I read that in class 8 and still remember….man…such a sweet studious boy I used to be in those days…and now look at me…I need to study…from tomorrow definitely….and from the next sem….i will study from the beginning and…aww…who am I kidding??i know what I will do next sem….doing what I was doing this sem….an sms??who can…WHAT THE FUCK???now rony tells me that the exam has been postponed…ha ha…I walked for like 4 kms…..ha ha ….man I think I am going crazy…..ha ha….

Dont give a fuck!!

All right…here goes….my attempt at being Eminem…ha ha

Slim Shady..dont kill me…I was just trying to be “inspired”…believe me…

They say that too much of a good thing is bad,whoever they are…

Well fuck them!!what do they know??get’em out of here…

I say I’ve had enough…enough with this useless life….

Lets finish this forever…lets end this futile strife…

“But anish!what are you saying??you’re gonna commit suicide?”

Big deal…its better to end it here…than to spend the rest of the days trying to hide…

Some sonofabitch screwed me out of my livelihood

“well fuck you man!!go and show him this attitude!!

Don’t take your frustration out on others,anish,you piece of crap

You’re so lost in life that you cant find your way even with a map!!”

Ok..i’ve heard enough…I am gonna shut your mouth for good….

You smug little bastard…you think you’re cool singing “hey jude”?

Yeah well,Paul McCartney and John Lennon..they didn’t have to deal with this shit!!

Take that you gutless swine…I am gonna turn on the heat!!

See how it feels…how it hurts…when I beat the crap outta you…

You’ve given me enough problems…my turn now to give you a few…

“You think you’re a big guy now??beating down a helpless guy??

Well fuck you faggot!!!now you’ve done it!!you’ve given me a swollen eye!!

You and me…we are finished….you can wallow in your mess as long as you like…

Me….I am the heartbreak kid…rapping away with LP’s Mike….”

And that’s how he left me…my conscience…may he burn in hell…that fucking jerk….

And “they” can say what they like…it’s their nature…dogs will bark….

Angrier Than Thou

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.I am Anish Dutta and I will be here commentator today for the anger competition.Today is Election day.clap clap clap!!What a beautiful day for getting angry!!Today all of us have the license to be as much angry as we like.

The following is the list of 10 people who have reasons to be angry or are always angry:

2.SHAH RUKH KHAN-Well,during December he watched helplessly as Aamir Khan stole his thunder (and his limelight) when Aamir’s Ghajini routed his movie Rab ne.Things have been going from bad to worse for him since then as his home production Billu Barbar failed miserably….and then his team KKR(they said they have removed Kolkata from the name…so now I think it stands for Khan Knight Riders) got crushed match after match.So the number 10 spot goes to our very own King Khan for having many reasons to get angry.

3.Christian Bale-This guy is un-fucking-believable.After fucking getting into a load of fucking trouble for fucking beating up his mom,this guy went batshit crazy (pun intended) on the fucking sets of T4 and used the fucking f-word 37 fucking times in 4 fucking minutes.Looks like this guy always finds a fucking reason to lose his cool.He is at number 4.

4.The people of West Bengal-People are either angry for the loss of the Nano,or they are angry for the fiasco in Nandigram.They are also angry at Dada losing captaincy and for KKR losing in the IPL.They are also angry because of job-cuts,power-cuts,increasing rates of hair-cuts.Or they are just angry anyways.

5.Wolverine-He was hoping compete with Batman in term’s of the movies financial success…unfortunately some scum released the movie on torrent long before it hit the screens.As a result,everyone watched it long before it hit the screens.As a result it was beaten by even “Ghosts of girlfriends past” at the box-office.So people,don’t watch the pirated copy.Do you really want this on your conscience??Do you really want a movie like “ghosts of girlfriends past” to win?

6.Politicians all over the world-Because they are the most abused,hated and maligned people in the world.They have even managed to beat lawyers.And that’s really saying something.

7.People whose lives have been affected by terrorists-Those people who haven’t been affected by terrorism won’t know what its like.I feel sorry for the terrorist if he came face to face with a guy who lost a lot because of terrorism.Sorry.I take that back.I don’t feel sorry at all.

8.English People-Despite inventing most of things,their performance in all of them is pathetic.Even their language got raped by the Americans.

9.Eminem-He is always angry as his songs demonstrate.His troubled childhood,and a troubled family life contributed to this.He married the same woman twice.And divorced her twice.Now he is dating her again.His fans don’t seem to care.They think he rocks!!!I am one of his fans.

10.Devdas-He would have been completely pissed off seeing SRK and bhansali’s “devdas”.He would come alive and kill abhay deol if he saw Dev D.

And now ladies and gentlemen.its time to announce the number one.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the number one is:-

1.GOD-For seeing the world he created become totally screwed up.

Love and Ego

Well over the last few posts I have written a lot of gibberish-tried to be funny,socially aware,poetic…err quite a lot of things,but have failed miserably.So in this post I want to tell you something that is very close to my heart.

Love-I have always avoided this topic.Joked about it.Given idiotic answers while pretending they were witty.But today I want to say what I really think about love.

Love-love is something which gives you a cause for living a purpose for life-more than any war ever can.Love is something which can turn you in a second from the happiest man on the planet to its saddest being.Love can be your strength-as much as it can be your weakness.Love can make your life-or destroy it.I know all these sound corny but it’s the truth about love.It really is an amazing feeling.Only the people who have been in love can know that feeling.The most powerful thing in the world.Love can make you do things which you never knew you were capable of.Love is sweet.Love is painful.Thats what makes it so beautiful.Love is selfless.Love isn’t jealous…stop Anish stop…I am gonna start crying….

But if love is so beautiful then why does love cause so many problems??if love isn’t jealous why are there love triangles which culminate in even murders??Because there-love is overtaken by something else-EGO.It makes a person think-“What??He gets the girl and not me??I am in ways lesser than him.I am going to get her in any way I can.”Ego is jealous.Ego sinks a person to depths he didn’t know he was capable of.

Some of you will say “ok..leave the triangles.Why are there so many break-ups due to mis-understandings?”Again-the answer is EGO.And this is applicable mainly for guys.I AM NOT A FEMINIST.But I have seen in many cases-when a girl is more successful than a guy,the guy starts getting grumpy,making snide comments and becoming VERY VERY bitter-but outwardly showing how happy he is for her.The male ego then becomes stronger than love.And don’t think these cases are exceptional.These cases are the majority.A guy may be very liberal on the outside,but deep down he will always be jealous when his girl is more successful than him.Ego is jealous.Ego is selfish.

I don’t know if you have noticed this in any case but in many cases I have seen that after a girl has dumped a guy,a guy cant get over her for a long time.While a girl gets over very quickly after being dumped.This too is because of-oh no…gotcha this time-this isn’t because of ego.But this isn’t because of love either.This is because he finds it hard to get over a old habit.But finally he does.

I know that many of you might not agree with what I feel.Even many might want to beat me up or hang me upside down.But this is really what I feel.If you dont agree with me that’s your problem.Not mine.

Lastly-even though ego is negative and cause of many a fights and misunderstandings-here is a bad wish-Without those misunderstandings and fights love would become really really boring.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??GO GIVE THESE PEOPLE YOU LOVE A WARM HUG AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.BRITISH METRIC SYSTEM IS OBSOLETE.SO USE THE MKS ONE.

Death of Patriotism

It’s official people.Patriotism is dead.Its over.The process which began quite some time ago has been completed by the IPL.Confused?Let me explain.

Patriotism has been dying for quite some time.With the concept of the world becoming a global village,patriotism has been on the vane for quite some time.I mean come on-you could see it.I remember when I was a kid I used to sit and watch India’s cricket matches.Each and every match.EACH AND EVERY BALL.I was afraid to shift my position in the fear that India might lose a wicket.But that was before a man called Sourav Ganguly.Bengal has always been shunted to the side by the western lobby and this man just showed what we can do.Birth of parochialism.This was bound to happen.In a country with 28 goddamn states(very poor in geography…inaccuracy of information regretted) where people of one part have NOTHING in common with the people of another part,this was bound to happen.At first I felt it was only me who lost his patriotism.But then I saw it’s not only me.No-one gives a fuck about this country anymore.But is it without reason that we have become so indifferent??Is it really??NO!!!

We were the ones who believed in INDIA.We were the ones who believed in the sacrifices of Bhagat Singh,Subhash Chandra Bose and the other brave freedom fighters.We dreamt of a better India.An India of equality.We actually believed in those “sovereign,socialist.secular.democratic” crap.Then we found out why our country sucked in the first place.Corruption.CORRUPTION from top to bottom.YEP!!!IN THIS COUNTRY,MONEY TALKS!!But how can you blame the common people??They get paid so less and they have a lot of mouths to feed.The government??Before blaming the governments,remember this:This is a country where our government has to make advertisements to stop female foeticide,infanticide.And yet no equality for girls!!!!How can you blame the government???People say politicians are corrupt.Yes they are.But more than that they are people who have realized that nothing can be done about this fucked-up country.If some one tries to do any good,others will pull them down to their level.And is it just politics??Look at our film industry.Copying movies from the west.Look at our sports.Spending millions on IPL,but not 1 congratulations for world champion Pankaj Advani.YES…we are people who go where there is hype…that’s how a shithole movie like ghajini is a blockbuster and a movie like Mumbai Meri Jaan bites the dust.People blame the brain drain on selfish young people.They say this generation has become selfish.Let me ask them something.WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE GIVE A DAMN ABOUT INDIA??WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GIVEN US EXCEPT HARDSHIPS,SHAME,TERROR,RELIGIOUS RIOTS,WAR AND GOD KNOWS WHAT OTHER CRAP??This country is dying.But no,don’t say that!!!Force a smile on your face!!!And say mera bharat mahan.

By the way,nowadays when India plays cricket,I change the channel and watch the ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE.

My Own Affirmation

(with due apologies to Savage Garden.This is just my tribute to their song)


I believe that everyone should have their own opinion.

I believe that Clark Kent is more like-able than superman.

I believe that 18 isn’t the age to lose virginity.

I believe that soccer is more popular than Christianity.

I believe that one lifetime isn’t enough for our hopes and dreams.

I believe that people may not always be just as they seem.

I believe our actions alone decide our destiny

I believe that love and hate are more important than money.

I believe that success alone should never decide our fate

I believe Saint Peter is still standing by the Pearly Gate.

I believe we shouldn’t ever believe anything blindly.

I believe that now this song should come to an end finally.

I believe in karma what you give is what you get returned.

I believe you cant appreciate real love until you're burned.

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side.

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say good-bye.

Seventh Heaven

Have you ever thought how it would be like to do whatever you wished to do for just one day?I thought a lot about.We live within so many bindings now-a-days that the real us is lost somewhere deep within us.We have become mechanical.We do certain things we don’t like to do but have to do because its decent its normal.”NORMAL” is the operative word here.So what would I do if I had one day to myself to do whatever I wished for without any bindings?

12.00 am-I would declare myself the President of the United States and withdraw troops from Iraq.I would stay at the White House for a couple of hours and enjoy a president’s life…but gotta go…time is short….so I stay here for only 3 hours….ha ha…

3.00 am-I would travel to Hollywood and sign Al Pacino for a tamil film starring Rajnikanth.In the movie Rajnikanth is the hero and Al Pacino is the villain,the leader of the USA army.Rajnikanth fights the entire USA army,navy and air forces with one hand tied behind his back and his blind-folded.Oh yes,he beats them without breaking a sweat.

7.00 am-I would buy all the shares(no financial binding remember?) of Warner Brothers and DC comics.From the next month DC comics will publish a weekly issue of Drona.1^st issue guest stars the Batman.Go collect your issue now!!I am sorry…from next month.

10.00 am-I am sitting in J.K.Rowling’s living room.She has agreed to start writing Harry Potter books again.I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

12.00 noon-I am having lunch at the Beverly Hills surrounded by Penelope Cruz,Salma Hayek,Monicca Bellucci and Keira Knightley.Mr Tom Cruise are you watching?

2.00 pm -I am here in Italy and have just bought a Ferrari.Michael Schumacher was the salesman.i am taking it to India without the taxes.Now I am going for a test drive.Penelope Cruz is sitting beside me.

5.00 pm-That test drive took a while.Me and Penny we went to the countryside.Stopped the car and enjoyed the scenary.I proposed to her and she said that she has been in love with me,the moment she first saw me.(YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND I SWEAR I AM GONNA BREAK EVERY TEETH YOU HAVE…OR IS IT TOOTH?)

7.00 pm-I am back in India.I have just signed Cristiano Ronaldo for Mohun Bagan.We are gonna thrash East Bengal the next time we play.

9.00 pm-I have completed banning all the television serials in the country.Ekta Kapoor is nearly crying but I ask her to go and make movies.I even give her dvds of a few English movies and albums of a few Pakistani bands from where she can rip off.

11.00 pm-All exams of any university just got cancelled.Guess who’s behind it?

12.00 am- I wake up.Its awfully hot and I am drenched.The open lab copy before me doesn’t look inviting at all.On the computer the news updates show Mohun Bagan has lost their match.

And all of a sudden I feel glad that finally normality is restored.

Some one-liners

Ok, firstly-these aren’t mine.I found them somewhere and am posting them for you guys.Hope you like them.If you do-its my credit for choosing them.If you don’t-the person who spent his time writing this-he is the one at fault.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like… Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
21. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
25. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That ’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates . . it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Random Thoughts of a Jobless Tramp

Last night I was watching the movie scarface.It had Al Pacino in it.Al Pacino is of course best known for “The Godfather”.The Godfather is rated by many as the best movie of all time.George Best was the greatest player of Manchester United.Manchester United lost 4-1 to Liverpool recently.The legendary band “The Beatles” hail from Liverpool.The word beatle rhymes with seattle.The movie “Sleepless in Seattle” had Tom Hanks in the lead role.Tom Hanks’ worst performance was probably in “The Da Vinci Code”.Leonardo Da Vinci was a scientist besides being an artist.Leonardo de Caprio was awesome in Titanic.Titanic was directed by James Cameron.James Cameron also directed the superb action movies The Terminator.The Terminator had Arnold Schwarzennegar in the lead role.Arnie is now the governor of California.Hotel California is the defining song of eagles.”Where eagles dare” starred Clint Eastwood during his early years.Clint Eastwood directed “Changeling” last year which was nominated for Oscars.Slumdog Millionaire won 8 oscars with Rahman winning two.Rahman’s Delhi 6 was better than Slumdog Millionaire.Delhi 6 actress sonam kapoor debuted in the movie sawariya by Sanjay Leela Bhansali.Bhansali is rumoured to be remaking The Prestige.The Prestige starred Christian Bale and hugh jackman.If you are still reading this post you be sure that you are completely jobless like me.People are jobless because of recession.Recession caused the stock markets to crash.Crash starred Brad Pitt.I like Brad Pitt.I can go on like this for hours.But even jobless people need break from their jobless escapades.So I am gonna take a break from taking a break…and………..well………..take a break.If you have read till here it means you are not only jobless,but you also love to torture yourself.If you love to torture yourself you should go and watch Aag.Not read my post.so get lost.I am not writing another word.

(I had no intention of torturing you with this.I was merely trying to kill time…no wait…murder time…slaughter time….assasinate time…anyway…I failed…)

Mavericks-The rebels

Well I hope all of you have noticed that the name of my blog is Mavericks.Now oxford has a definition of the word maverick.The word apparently was coined after the name of a guy called Maverick…who was…well….a maverick.In this post let me tell you what the word maverick means to me.

The first requirement of being a maverick is that you have to be crazy.Now by crazy I don’t mean lunatic asylum crazy.You have to get ideas and do things which will make people say “You’re Crazy!!!You have lost it!!!You are off your rockers!!!You have lost your marbles!!!”….ok,that’s quite enough..I hope you get the point.In other words you have to be able to dream impossible….and be stupid enough to try it.

The second most important point is you have to be unconventional.You have to do things,others wont dream of doing.Suppose you get an rank 30 in the IIT’s….and you enroll for English honours.YES!!!THAT MUCH CRAZY…TAKE THE UNCONVENTIONAL ROUTE….THATS WHAT A MAVERICK DOES.

Mavericks are born,not made.You can’t become a maverick.Because taking the unconventional route will not strike you unless you are a maverick.People laugh at mavericks because they are different.Mavericks laugh at people because they are all the same.

Last but not the least,A maverick is the very best at what he does.He is the damn best….otherwise in this cut-throat world..he wont survive taking the alternative route.But if you are a maverick,you will be the best.You know why?Because you enjoy what you are doing….the fear of failure disappears from your mind.You give a damn to rules.HELL A MAVERICK PLAYS THE GAME BY HIS OWN RULES.!!!HE REWRITES THE RULES OF THE GAME!!!

There are a lot of mavericks around us.In cricket you see this guy called Virender Sehwag.He hit technique and footwork out of the park for a six.The experts are perplexed.They don’t know how their theories could be wrong.But that’s what a maverick does.He wipes the smirk right off their smug faces.He brings them down from their high horses and prove them wrong.

Another guy is the director Anurag Kashyap.He refused to take the formula masala bollywood route..And he also refused to take the “look-i-am-rituparno-ghosh-and-I-make-intellectual-movies” route as well..It resulted in movies with great cinematic values which have become hugely popular with the masses.

All in all….all I want to say is….MAVERICKS RULE!!!!!ALL HAIL THE REBELS!!!!