Right Here Write Now

I have been entrusted to write a play for the kids to enact during a function in our neighbourhood. Now don’t ask me why they chose me of all people-I guess I am the only one who would do it for free. And the guy whose play they could criticize if the audience doesn’t laugh. 8 hours from the morning and I can’t think of anything funny to write about. I don’t know if this happens with all comedy writers. I have no idea because I have never attempted to write one. I usually write dark stuff-you know-the ones which you read after your girlfriend has dumped you-or you have failed a maths test. Yeah man-I write some heavy shit-good or bad-either way it’s guaranteed to make you feel suicidal. So what do I know about writing a comedy?
Well honestly these committee people don’t care-Ha ha. COMMITTEE-remember we were told in our English classes-that is the only word with double m,double t and double e.HA HA. Funny.
Ok coming back to what I was saying-they want a comedy written and they want it now-they could have just adopted some old comedy story performed a gazillion times but no!!! They have to put this on me to humiliate me.
This is what I was thinking when my mobile started vibrating loudly. I hate the ringtone of my cell phone-But this is an old model where only one ringtone is available.I tried keeping it on vibrate mode but as I am a thick-skinned person so couldn’t feel the vibrations most of the time-made me miss my mother’s phone calls many times-She figured I was doing drugs or alcohol in the least.
So anyway this wasn’t my mother who was calling-and NO!!!unlike One Night @ Call Centre it wasn’t God either. Now here’s something I don’t understand.Why would the caller ID there show God calling???I mean if even God obtained that guy’s number(pretty tough job considering the huge database he had to sift through to obtain one loser guy’s number) then shouldn’t it just display God’s number. Anyway I have always maintained God won’t waste his balance on a loser even if he does want to talk to him.At best he would give a missed call.Or sms him if he had free sms balance.
So as I was saying-it was my best friend calling.Well technically I don’t have a best friend because I am the dark brooding kinda guy-at least I think of myself like that.I’M BATMAN!!Ok well my friend was calling to see if I would be able to accompany him and a bunch of other guys to a Hindi movie that evening.Yeah right-I don’t have anything else to do,do I?It’s not as if little kiddies are looking up to me to write them a comedy so that they can enact it.
And I just sat there staring at the Microsoft Word document-with Eminem songs playing in the background.And for the uninitiated Eminem songs aren’t exactly the best inspiration for a comedy-Let me illustrate-most Eminem love songs end with him raping or killing the girl-I mean FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!I like dark and brooding but that ain’t cool-that’s disgusting.
A little later the World Cup is about to begin-funny thing about the World Cup-It turns harmless meek Bengalis into Brazilian tigers,Argentinian animals and German lions for a month.Funny as hell to see them shouting-“AMADER BRAAAZIL JITECHHE(Our Brazil has won).
Another thing about the World Cup is that only famous countries get to play their-look at some of the teams there-Japan-famous for earthquakes and animes...Brazil-famous for Orkut hackers....England-famous for bad food and weather...South Africa-famous for racial tension and Vuvuzelas...crap India ain’t famous for anything..We can never play the World Cup.

Anyway it’s time for the World Cup.I am giving this up as a bad job.Will have to inform the C-O-M-M-I-T-T-E-E people.HA ha.Ok that’s it for now.I’ll see ya around.bye bye.

P.S.-I know the question on your mind right now-What the f***???